and finally
anyone who's ever been to hammersmith will know the mad old woman with the zimmer frame and a serious case of evil. she looks so frail and doddery, but only a fool will try to help her cross the road or to do her shopping... go near her, and she looks you in the face and screams:

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT GET THE FUCK OFF ME FUCK OFF

or words on a similar variant of this theme. she got me in tesco car park, when she was hobbling towards the doors at 9.55pm. there were kittens roasting away in hell with a better chance of getting their shopping before it closed at 10pm, so i naively offered to run in there for her. never again. my ears were ringing for hours.

she also loves to stop the traffic on the shep bush road, which is not, as such, what you might call traffic-free at the best of times, by hobbling sloooooowly across... then back again.....

but the real reason i hope she dies slowly and painfully, and then gets her corpse anally raped in the morgue, is that every single time i have to walk past her, she yells:

"OI BIG TITS" at me.

every.

single.

time.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:01, 16 replies)

OI BIG TITS

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:24, closed)

When did she arrive on the scene...
I don't recall her being there in 2001 when I live in Hammersmith. Although I do recall hanging out on Shepherd Bush Green and being accosted by a bum with a stray chair shouting some rather disgusting obscenities. That was back when the green was cool mind you. Now's its a commercial shit hole with no charm.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 12:30, closed)

validity
If there were a 'report to a moderator' facility available then this post would most certainly warrant its existence. A vulnerable elderly woman has been defamed and possibly libelled with scant regard for her reputation or advancing years, yet the fact remains we have no firm proof of the size of Ms Swipe’s bosom (or indeed proof of how firm they may or not be).

This is precisely the sort of unsubstantiated posting that continues to drag QOTW down ever closer to the level of the 'talk' board. Standards should upheld and this sort of sharp practice must be condemned.

However, it is possible this matter may be swiftly and amicably resolved should Ms Swipe wish to gaz me photographic documentation of her breasts. Naturally for purposes of verification I would also require a series of images of Ms Swipe in various types of foundation garment prior to a more detailed photographic study of her naked breasts. Perhaps proof positive Ms Swipe has distinctly outgrown her school uniform might well support her assertions, although possibly not her appendages. In addition, and merely of course for the sake of accurate comparison, it would greatly assist Ms Swipe in her claim if she were to include a female companion with equivalent sized bust in a similar state of disrobe. Should Ms Swipe and her companion wish to position their bosoms adjacent to each other, this may well assist in verifying her claim, as I often find it difficult to navigate between files with only one hand.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 13:40, closed)

I have seen said Miss Swipe on facebook and can verify that whilst not huge, are of a size to warrent comment.

( girlinthehole, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 18:48, closed)

then i would suggest that you gaz you me immediately...
with an invite to this book of faces

i am nothing if not thorough
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 22:14, closed)

and...
are you prepared to act as a comparison for the required photographic verifaction of voluminous norkage
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 22:23, closed)

excuse me
but I would ask m'learned colleague exactly why he also chooses to call into question the firmness of said norkage. The original comment, I believe, merely referred to the size of the bazongas in question, so I would beg him to stay on topic.

I'm with him on the photograph front mind.
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 22:55, closed)

well
s'worth a punt innit
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 2:25, closed)

true
you dont ask, you dont get.
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:01, closed)

As much as I support such rigorous scientific inquiry
I must remind the esteemed gentleman that any such an investigation should be subject to peer review.

I propose that any materials gleaned in his work should be copied and forwarded to the editor of the world-renowned journal 'Mammary Measurement Monthly' for confirmation and, eventually, publication.

Fortunately I happen to be said editor, which should speed matters up considerably.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 12:02, closed)

ah... from the same excellent independant little publishers of
Wanglength Weekly

My Little Mimsy

Lady Gardeners Friend

And of course Bum Circumference Digest
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:06, closed)

Oh, she exists..
I used to work in the big silver building across from the church, and bumped into madbaglady with unfortunate regularity.

She smells of death.
(CantSleepClownsWillGetMe Likes: Turtles, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 14:27, closed)

We need some evidence to judge whether the old lady was correct in her observation.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sun 5 Jul 2009, 15:35, closed)

erm.. look two above

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 5 Jul 2009, 18:28, closed)

Would it have been worse
if she shouted 'OI, FLAT CHESTED FREAK!'
I half-wish I had tits big enough to invite comment...though possibly not from a scary old baglady...
(berk, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 13:39, closed)

OI, BIG TITS!

is that any good?
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 14:11, closed)