Wardrobe trolls
When I was about 8ish, my imagination fuelled by Point Horror tales, I used to terrify my little brother with stories about how the troll in his wardrobe would crawl out and eat him while he was asleep. (This was many years pre-Monster's Inc - the royalties cheque must have got lost in the post.) It got to the stage where I'd convinced him that the only way for him to be truly safe was by turning the lights off, knocking 3 times on the wardrobe door, spinning round three times, and saying "I'm not afraid of the trolls in the dark!" three times before getting into bed as fast as possible. After a couple of weeks he was doing this every night

Those of you with siblings can probably see where this is going.

One night, the second after he'd finished the final, "I'm not afraid...", I leapt out of the wardrobe wearing my glow-in-the-dark Spiderman pyjamas, a sheet tied round my neck (as a cape obviously - all wardrobe trolls wear capes!) and a Leonardo (turtle not Renaissance painter/inventor) face mask roaring my head off.


20 years on, my brother swears to this day that he's never been more scared in his life.


He screamed - very loudly - for a long time, and my parents quickly arrived on the scene. It didn't take Poirot to figure out what had happened - my brother was curled up in a ball on the floor bawling his eyes out, I was standing (dressed very dashingly IMHO) in front of the now open wardrobe looking guilty as sin.

Mum went to comfort my brother and eventually calmed him down. Dad found the whole thing quite amusing right up until the point he realised my brother had literally shat himself, on the carpet, by treading in it.



Epilogue:
The next morning was Sunday. I was grounded, my brother was still slightly traumatised. After breakfast, Mum sent me upstairs to spend the morning tidying my room.

As I went into my room, as usual, all the sheets were now on the floor. But when I went to pick them up they leapt up in the air at me going "Rarrrrggghhhhh!"

To this day I swear I have never been so scared in my life. I shrieked, in not a particularly manly fashion, and turned to run out of the room. In my panic I tripped over some of the many other items on the floor and fell headfirst into my bedside table.

When Mum arrived, I was sitting on the floor, blood streaming down my face, looking stunned. Dad was sheepishly comforting me, still holding onto the sheet.

She said nothing, just went to get the car out of the garage for what was one of many trips to Casualty me and my brother made in our childhood.
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:41, 14 replies)

outstanding

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:47, closed)

Truly
brilliant trolling/dad trolling.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:53, closed)

well played, your dad.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 19 May 2011, 12:57, closed)

awesome

( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Thu 19 May 2011, 13:09, closed)

Bravo
Top parenting right there.
( Pig Bodine., Thu 19 May 2011, 13:21, closed)

Spot on there old boy.
*Clicks*
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 19 May 2011, 14:53, closed)

*click*

(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Thu 19 May 2011, 14:56, closed)

Ace!

( lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Thu 19 May 2011, 15:26, closed)

Top!!

( parttimebabe is almost there..., Thu 19 May 2011, 16:03, closed)

Im hiding behind my screen at work
Trying to cover up my laughing by coughing. Its not working.
(Document Pocket, Thu 19 May 2011, 16:09, closed)

i shall click this
when i can stop laughing
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 May 2011, 20:25, closed)

Not only
a click but I am saving the url of this post as a demonstration of the correct use of "literally"
(Troutbiscuits, Sun 22 May 2011, 15:46, closed)

superb. *click*

( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Mon 23 May 2011, 7:35, closed)

What they said
*doffs hat*
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 25 May 2011, 17:23, closed)