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This is a question Trolls

Are you a troll? Ever been trolled? Ever pwn3d a troll with your 1337 intarnet sk1llz? Or do you live under a bridge and eat goats? Tell us your trolly stories, both from the web and from real life

Thanks to The Hedgehog From Hell for the suggestion

(, Thu 19 May 2011, 11:49)
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Sadly, I'm far too busy shagging women and being intelligent to be interested in football, but
I would think Shirley that there's some opportunity for people to tell us their stories of excellent chants that they've been party to? I'm thinking along the lines of the minimalist brilliance of "You're shit, and you know you are, you're shit, and you know you are" to the tune of Go West, or Millwall's "Everybody hates us, we don't care"?
(, Fri 20 May 2011, 15:27, 18 replies)
I did once hear a bloke shout out
'Bruce Dyer? Bruce DYER? You couldn't be better named if you were called Bruce Fucking Dreadful'

Well, it made me laugh anyway.
(, Fri 20 May 2011, 15:35, closed)
You must of have to been there Scarpe. :-)

(, Fri 20 May 2011, 15:50, closed)
every football crowd sings the same song on the TV
just a lot of connected vowels along to a random tune. It's like high-energy Gregorian chanting.
(, Fri 20 May 2011, 15:35, closed)
I quite enjoyed Enigma when they were about.

(, Fri 20 May 2011, 15:37, closed)
Pearoast along those lines for you
Childhood innocence
Scene setting (I will do my best to be brief):
I live in Jersey...we hate Guernsey (our sister isle) and all of its inhabitants (think England-Scotland; England-Germany; Everyone-France and you get the picture).

Every year we have an Channel Island interinsular football tournament with Jersey and Guernsey habitually meeting in the final. This year the final was held in Guernsey. Along with a small but passionate group of supporters and my six year old we make the short trip o'er the water to the game. Our seats in the stadium were right alongside the most rabid home supporters. As passions rose so did terrace chants and, well, abuse.

As I pray that my lad doesn't pick up and repeat any of the amusingly colourful ditties, especially to Mrs Number 5, he starts to join in with some of my fellow supporters' witty slur "you fat bastard" aimed at the largest and most mentally unstable skinhead in the Guernsey end. His crystal clear scream of "YOU FAT PASTA" manages to stun an entire end of some three to four hundred fans into silence. I didn't have the heart to either correct him or rebuke him for his hooligan tendencies.

I blame the parents!
(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:01, closed)
Hahahahahahaha

(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:10, closed)
Isn't a clever football chant a contradiction in terms?
It's like trying to find a clever Christian, or a peaceful Muslim
(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:02, closed)
Or a funny lefty.

(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:10, closed)
or indeed, an agnostic who wasn't an unbearable cunt
[edit] actually, now I think about it my sister came back from one of Walsall FC's games with the chant:
You're not very good
You're not very good
You're not very
You're not very
You're not very good


Which I had to admire for its simplicity
(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:17, closed)
I fucking hate unbearable cunts.

(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:21, closed)
Uncuntable bears are worse

(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:29, closed)
I cunted a bear right in the fuck once.
It dropped like a sack of spuds.
(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:33, closed)
i sacked a cunt once and left it bear

(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:52, closed)
Millwall, Millwall, you're all really dreadful, and your girlfriends are unfulfilled and alienated

(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:19, closed)
Hahahahahaha
"Your football team are poor performers, and notwithstanding theit battlefield elegance within the remit of the training ground, they are inscrutable in their lack of dynamics"

- to a Brahms number.
(, Fri 20 May 2011, 16:23, closed)
Some don't need to chant to be excellent examples.
Can't recall the club they purported to support but some guys had fun waving a Galitaserei [no idea of spelling] flag at Leeds games.
Pretty fucking pathetic when you prefer one bunch of muscular guys over another bunch of muscular guys so much that you think it appropriate to mention violent deaths.
(, Fri 20 May 2011, 18:14, closed)
sung at Cardiff fans
"Score in a farmyard,
You couldn't score in a farmyard"
(, Fri 20 May 2011, 19:43, closed)
The last test of the recent Ashes was rather good for that sort of thing.
Chants of "You all live in a convict colony", Mitchell Johnston's "He bowls to the left, he bowls to the right, that Mitchell Johnston, his bowling is shite" every time he went to bowl and "We all shagged Matilda (she moaned and she groaned and she took it up the billabong)."
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 0:44, closed)

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