I thought long and hard about this one.
I weighed up how much monkey-shit I'm going to have flung at me compared with how cathartic this would be and how much it would ease my conscience. Seeing the amount this "incident" has weighed upon my soul - letting it all out seemed like the best choice.
(Wavy Lines)

We find the young ringofyre MizMcUg playing He-Man with his (then) besty Jezza. MM has just got the Battle-Cat/Cringer toy. It is fucking beaut. One moment it is a mild-mannered green & yellow striped tiger - Cringer, the next moment - by the power of Grey-Skull and draping a reddish, rubber saddle over him, he is magically transformed into Battle-Cat - harbinger of doom of all who stand against He-Man.
Jezza seemed quite taken with my new acquisition as the best pose-able toy he brought to the party was Beast-Man and some Action Man guns (which kind fitted into the hand grips).
At then end of our days play MM discovers that Battle-Cat has decamped. At first concerned and then down-right panicking the young man and his seemingly indifferent friend search for the lost toy. No-where to be found.
At 1st MM is not suspicious when the following day Jezza appears at school with a BRAND NEW Battle-Cat, that he apparently got as a present from some long lost cousin the night before when he got home from visiting MM. And then doubt begins to creep in. MM eventually accuses Jezza, who of course denies it completely and the friendship slowly crumbles like Corn Flakes getting soggy at the bottom of the bowl.

Cue many years later on the other side of the country - a young MM is bipping and bopping thru the 90's going to clubs and taking some AVERAGE-SIZED drugs. One night at a gay club (where else were you going to get good drugs?) MM comes across someone in the dunnies whilst scoring a couple of pills. The someone, as he turns his head over his shoulder whilst ramming his cock down the throat of guy on the dunny seems familiar. At first MM can't place the face. & then it hits him - JEZZA!!!!. *To those of you crying "Gaaay" - bear in mind this is the 90's, buying pills in a gay club toilet*
MM and Jezza reunite at the club, exchange numbers and then never call each other. As you do when you buy/sell drugs in a gay club toilets. The pills were shit btw - I've had better highs off my kid's multivitamins.

A few years later MM is working as a cook for a catering company. One day he has to do the prep and presentation for a wedding. Imagine his surprise on the day when he meets the groom and (no prizes for guesses) it's Jezza! Marrying some pretty young thing.
During the speeches Jezzas best man (having found out that we knew each other when we were younger) calls me up both to thank us (the catering co.) and to ask me to say a few words.
"I knew the groom when we were kids". I say. Then whilst Jezza (and everyone else) is looking at me with the doe-eyed nostalgia that only weddings can inspire, I comment - "I knew him when he was getting blowjobs in [popular gay nightclub] and selling drugs. I also knew him when he stole my He-Man Battle-Cat figurine."
The room was silent. I strolled off into the kitchen.

Unreasonably cruel?
You go without owning Battle-Cat during your upbringing and then get back to me.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:02, 9 replies)

Hmm. Possibly not your
finest moment.

Completely missed the chance to blackmail him.
(username failed moderation, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:13, closed)

How did you pay for your not-so-massive drugs?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:25, closed)

Cash.
With a stipend.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:30, closed)

I do hope that "stipend" is slang for bumming
Pretty sure you've posted this story before, btw.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:42, closed)

What gave it away?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 19 Jul 2013, 10:53, closed)

You were hanging about in the toilets, at a gay club.
Stands to reason that bumming'd be involved.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 11:17, closed)

Is this Baldmonkey?

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:32, closed)

Tell me
more.
(username failed moderation, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:33, closed)

Ok

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:36, closed)

Like
does he have a car?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:38, closed)

Of course he has a car.
He needs a getaway vehicle once the sweets or puppy line works.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:41, closed)

Baldmonkey is Mark Bridger?
[sadface]
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 9:45, closed)

Only Jimmy Savile knew the truth.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 11:41, closed)

I think perhaps you should perhaps have thought longer, and harder about this one.

( wanderlust, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 10:11, closed)

thought been
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 10:36, closed)

Oh. Believe me I did.
Long. And hard....
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 19 Jul 2013, 10:55, closed)

did you have a wank?

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 11:08, closed)

Not so much wank
as wore my frenulum down to the bone.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 19 Jul 2013, 11:49, closed)

'...the friendship slowly crumbles like Corn Flakes getting soggy at the bottom of the bowl.'
What does that even mean? You've tried so hard to find a metaphor and ended up with meaningless shite.

Crumbles like soggy Corn Flakes? Seriously?

I can see why everyone hates you.
(Queen of the Harpies, a dedicated Marshmallow puppet, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 16:40, closed)

everyone the yapping puppy crew
(username failed moderation, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 17:00, closed)

There's a puppy crew?
Count me in.

Sounds like they know what they're talking about.
(Queen of the Harpies, a dedicated Marshmallow puppet, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 18:11, closed)

I think you may be taking
this a little too seriously.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 19 Jul 2013, 17:05, closed)

Nope.
There's nothing worse than bad metaphors.

Nothing.
(Queen of the Harpies, a dedicated Marshmallow puppet, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 17:22, closed)

I stand corrected, like
an Easter Island head wondering where his hat went.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 19 Jul 2013, 17:53, closed)

Makes more sense than 'crumbling like soggy cornflakes'.

(Queen of the Harpies, a dedicated Marshmallow puppet, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 18:10, closed)

What's a metaphor?
Banging in nails. Or summat.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 20 Jul 2013, 8:18, closed)

I find this very hard to believe. I doubt you could do any public speaking.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 20 Jul 2013, 8:19, closed)

Hur
durr....
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 20 Jul 2013, 12:19, closed)

Given his proclivity for the bum fun
You probably wouldn't have wanted battlecat back after he had smuggled it away from you
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 15:19, closed)