Ozzy
Until last year, I thought the bat Ozzy bit the head off was alive at the time.
(misteroz1979, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 14:32, Reply)

Schmiecal
I managed to persuade my girlfriend that ex-Man Utd. keeper Peter Schmeical's first name was actually Michael, but he uses his middle name because he was embarassed by it.

(His middle name is actually Boleslaw, which is nearly as funny)
(Mr Glover Lover, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 13:40, Reply)

wizard of oz
this one's probably already posted, but I haven't seen it...

...I was told by a friend that one of the midgets in Wizard Of Oz hung himself on set and no one noticed, and that if you watch you can see him hanging from a tree. he also said that because the person who owned the copyright for the film was dead, the studios are now no longer allowed to edit it out so it's there forever.

I remember thinking it made cock all sense (they didn't notice him hanging there until the film had been edited and shipped? likely...) and thanks to snopes I now know it's just bollocks.

mind you, the bloke who told me does like his conspiracy theories - his dad writes books about JFK and stuff, and apparently JFK's murder happened pretty much exactly like in the Oliver Stone filum. aPpArReNtLy his dad's got some really damning evidence that it was a CIA conspiracy, but can't publish it because he'll be killed

erm....sorry for off topic. could delete it, but I'd hate to see it go to waste
( yes yes yes man oi mate, someone's writtten 'bum' on your neck, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 13:26, Reply)

A genuinely legendary character
If you've ever lived in Walsall then I can only offer my condolences and hope that you've managed to find somewhere better, but you'll know what I'm talking about. The local street crazy, Brian Ramsay, was the subject of almost all the urban legends I heard at school because of his habitual barking and occasional displays of street violence. He's listed here under "street entertainers": www.knowhere.co.uk/579_heroes.html
Popular ones included he had been a really bright student who dropped too much acid and never came down, his girlfriend was murdered in front of him and it drove him mad, or that he just sniffed glue and that's why he was so strung out.

I was back in Walsall just before Christmas, having a smoke outside a balti house, and he came up to me and asked me in a very clear and coherent voice if he could have a cigarette, so he is still about and hopefully the barking stuff is all in the past. I don't know, I haven't lived there for 7 years.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 11:41, Reply)

the most repeated urban legend i've heard...

it's about an about-to-get-married couple that had booked a reception at a posh place for their wedding weekend. and the posh place gets in touch, saying some people really want that weekend, and will buy them out of the weekend +£5k.

the original couple say no as it's their wedding and they've made all the plans. this haggling increases up to the point the mystery couple offer to pay off the original couple's mortgage - an offer they accept.

the cheque comes through for the mortgage, and it's signed by......

david beckham.

BULLSHIT - i can't be the only person to have been exposed to this story on multiple occasions.
(oller, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 11:19, Reply)

i....
managed to convince all the girls next door that the edge from u2 always wears a hat because....

he had open brain surgery for a massive tumour, and they've not been able to replace the skull they lopped out, so he just has this big metal tile on the top of his head. which he conceals with a hat.
(oller, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 11:14, Reply)

Reaper cushions . . .
it's actually called the philtrum . . .
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Thu 12 Jan 2006, 10:36, Reply)

Holiday bollocks
I'm sure everyone must have heard this at one time or another.
A quick breakdown:

A group of people go away together on holiday, everyone is having a great time but halfway through their stay they return home from the beach/bar only discover that their room has been broken into. After checking all their stuff is still there they put the incident to the back of their minds and get on with the holiday.

On their return, one of the group goes to get the film from the camera developed, only to find that in the middle of pictures of them at a club or on the beach is a bunch of photos of a bloke in their hotel room, taking a picture of himself sticking their toothbrushes, one by one, up his arse.

Tosh
(Rinky dink pink, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 9:27, Reply)

Urban myth on top of urban myth
Re. Purple Aki....
One of the detectives that led the investigation is Johnny Vegas's Brother....
100% true!
(airliebird Has now found Twiglets in Sydney!!!!!!! yay!, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 6:20, Reply)

Dave Dave
I heard a girl on radio 1 say that she knows a guy valled Dave Dave. Not David Davidson or Dave Davies but actual first name Dave, last name Dave.
( P3te "the Meat", Thu 12 Jan 2006, 1:39, Reply)

housemate swears blind that....
my flatmate swears blind that susan kennedy is dating moira stewart of news- readery fame .....


i then told another bird to make him look silly (i fancied a piece and had to eliminate the competition) and she said 'thats b*llocks..... moira stewart is dating lenny kravitz'



ah.....
(screnner, Thu 12 Jan 2006, 1:11, Reply)

bonsai kitten
Couldn't find this mentioned but as urban legends go it's raised some angry comments in town councils, newspapers, churches, animal rights organisations etc. I didnt start it but I wish I had!
The few of you who don't know it, check out www.bonsaikitten.com

Total classic!

As for round our way, there was the chippie owner with the wig which fell in the chips. There was the chinese with the sick guests and the semen - from THREE different men!!!
Then we had my mate's grandad who tapped out his pipe on a cheap whore's head and set it on fire. No mention of tooth damage so it's subtle enough to maybe be true!
The school farmerboy who shagged his . . . dog! He pulled a knife on the guy who had borrowed his "Hobbit" tape for the Spectrum 48, so that's another possibility!
The most recent one I heard someone try to start was that Christopher Walken had only been in fourteen films! It "only seems like he's been in bloody everything".
one evening of pub arguing was swiftly ended when I got home and checked the imdb. Only bloody 99 of the buggers!!!
(foolish_child, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 23:43, Reply)

Spunk in McDonalds
Everyone must have heard this one.

In the McDonalds at [insert town here] they found traces of spunk in the milkshakes.

True, honest
(Lewis Anigav, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 22:41, Reply)

Peter Andre
I always thought Peter Andre had died in a car crash - until he appeared on "I'm a celebrity..."


I have no recollection of how it came about.
(tranmerefan, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 22:20, Reply)

Funny Bone
If you hit your funny bone (that's the nerve in your elbow to anyone with Finbar Saunders minds), you should bash the other one against a wall as soon as possible. Amazing as it may seem, you don't feel either when they both hurt.

Although being suspicious that this was a practical joke at first, I did try it and it does work.
(Peelmytangerines, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 21:50, Reply)

Well
I was winding my way down to Baker Street, . . .


yeh just another crazy day
(tootlepip, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 21:48, Reply)

Apologies
to Peter Kay but is it true that not taking your coat off in a confined environment means you 'wont feel t'benefit' when outside?.
(tootlepip, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 21:29, Reply)

Bacpaker scum....
Why so all backpackers in Thailand belive that before sang thip whiskey was rebranded to become sang som, it contained large amounts of speed. How likely does that sound in a country where even having speed in your urine can earn you a lengthy prison sentence.

Yet everyone belives it.

I hate backpackers.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 21:05, Reply)

Convincing Bullshit...........
I told my girlfriend that as well as turkey and goose, barn owls are traditionally roasted and eaten for christmas. I also told her (trying to muffle my laughing) that the sun was actually only the size of a football, just really hot. She went home to inform her dad.
( industrial_bunny, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 20:50, Reply)

Brain Pencillation
Everyone must have heard the legend of "during his GCSE's, a depressed boy (friend of a friend of a....) put two pencils up his nose, then slams head onto table, killing himself" during their exams, right?

I put all my pencils under my desk during my exams just incase I was tempted. 3 hours of Critical Thinking will do that to anyone.
(Valensin, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 20:37, Reply)

I have had several people believe
that the little ridges beneath the nose that join to the top lip are known as the 'gilbert'. I can't remember how it started.
( reaper cushions, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 20:36, Reply)

Peter Andre
When I was 15 a rumour went around our Comp that Peter Andre had stomach implants to make him look more 'ripped' and had been diagnosed with cancer as a result. Some claimed he had six months to live, but that was during the summer of 1996!
(Fatty Thornton, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 20:29, Reply)

Van Halen Reunion? Not quite...
Okay, this is entirely TRUE:

Back at the 1996 MTv Music Awards, myself and three other guys from my Firm were able to score backstage passes ($1500 a piece).

Before we even got there, we had been drinking for the better part of an hour and a half at a local Wall St watering hole. Walking around backstage (we are supposed to be 'stage workers' or at least thats what our passes said) and I am standing there watching either the Cranberries or Oasis play, literally from stage right and I hear what sounds like two grown men crying. I turn around to see David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen crying and hugging saying shit like "We never shoulda broke up the band man!" and "This is the way it was SUPPOSED to be FOREVER!"

So they go out to do their award presentation and Dave goes out with them. They announce to the viewing audience "We are getting the band back together!" The crowd goes nuts: standing ovation, the whole nine yards.

The next morning, I am driving to work and on the Howard Stern Show, (local and nationally syndicated NYC Shock jock) Eddie Van Halen is on talking about how they were just 'fucking with Dave.'

Bullshit. I (and now You fair readers, know the truth!)

100% true. I wonder if Dave pissed them off at an after-show party or something?
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 20:15, Reply)

Purple Aki
Just googled him and he was all too real.

blog.urbanomic.com/sphaleotas/archives/000039.html

Lots of hits but that one pretty much sums it up.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 19:06, Reply)

Just spotted the ones about Purple Aki (pages 2 & 3)...
...I also spent some of my formative years in Merseyside, and he was one of the most feared men walking.

He wasn't a myth though - very real indeed and scary enough to earn his reputation. He was a big lad and a total psycho, but he was also a stalker of buff males aged between 13-25. Many a time I've heard of guys who could actually handle him leaving thier freeweights-gym-of-choice to give him a slap for accosting the clientele.

I saw him around a few times, but I wasn't his type, thank fuck. I remember when he was sent down too - there was a front-page story in my local paper with the headline (and this is no shit) 'PURPLE AKI JAILED'.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 18:59, Reply)

i once convinced.....
...my well meaning but slow witted friend, melvin, that A)leopards laid eggs, and B)scotch eggs were eggs laid by pigs, hence the sausage meat shell.
(idioteque., Wed 11 Jan 2006, 18:34, Reply)

Many years ago
I discovered my then wife had been shagging most of the men in my village. I started a rumour that she was HIV+. That is all.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 11 Jan 2006, 18:06, Reply)

@ helpermonkey (and anyone who cares!)
Pat from Eastenders is a rug muncher so that rumour holds some truth

and as for the kid in the Goonies, he's the same kid thats in Indiana Jones....and that aint Jackie Chan. Check the IMDB


{edit}- the kid is called Jonathan Ke Quan
.
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 17:05, Reply)

I was once told...
...by a guy I worked with years ago that if you cut yourself* you can stem the bleeding by pissing on it.

I've also been told that urine is one of the most sterile naturally-occurring substances known to man, which would reassure in this circumstance I suppose.

Neither of these revelations made me willing to try it though. I'll piss in the toilet/up against a wall and bleed into a plaster like I always have, thanks.

* Inadvertently, I assume.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 16:53, Reply)

Mate from Uni is/was convinced...
...of the following:

Shania Twain has a wooden leg

Pam St. Clements (Pat from Eastenders) and Patricia Routledge (Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Apperances) are in a long term lesbian relationship

The remaining Fat Lady from Two Fat Ladies cookery programme is in fact only 37, and that's what alcohol abuse can do to your looks

Jackie Chan was the Chinese kid in The Goonies

The lead singer of Nickelback is the oldest brother from Hanson

Fnar.

My brother has been telling me for ages that Charles from Charles and Eddie (of "Would I Lie To You?" fame) is dead. What do you know? Turns out he's right...
www.deadoraliveinfo.com/dead.nsf/pnames-nf/Pettigrew+Charles
(helpermonkey, Wed 11 Jan 2006, 16:51, Reply)