A recent one
There are many happy memories in my bank but this is the most recent one (about a month ago):

There's a local girl who I must admit I was head over heels in love with. Alas the feeling wasn't mutual and although we got close and spent lots of time together, she wasn't ready for a relationship and just wanted us to be friends. Being friends for us included getting drunk together and staying at one another's houses, sharing the same bed.

This girl is 40 years old (two years younger than me), extraordinarily pretty and with a lovely body; especially her legs. She's a lovely girl and we make one another laugh: all ingredients which added up to me falling in love with her.

We shared a bed at least half a dozen times and on one occasion I awoke in the morning and instinctively put my arm around her and put my hand on her tummy. She asked me to move my hand, so I did: up to her tits. I asked her if this was okay and she said it was; she was just sensitive about her belly. Then I asked her if she was okay touching her legs. "Yes" she said; "In fact any part of my body except my tummy."

So I moved my hand onto her backside, then around the front. I really thought I was chancing my arm here but I had a raging horn and couldn't help it. Then she said, "If you're going to stick your cock in me, don't think that means we're together. We're just friends." And then it happened: just a functional bit of thrusting to clear away the cobwebs, as it had been a while for us both.

Friends with benefits.
( <>Dog www.stevelaker.blog, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:15, 28 replies)

Yup. I was once mercilessly used.
She came, got off me (didn't get me off), and started getting dressed. I asked her what the fuck was going on, and she instructed me to close the door on my way out.

It led me to all sorts of questions about the emancipation of women through the liberation of feminism.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:20, closed)

so, to sum up:
you felt up a girl, stuck your winky in her dried-out fanny and masturbate regularly at the very thought of this erotic adventure.

how lovely.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:25, closed)

Does anyone come to b3ta specifically for the loveliness of it?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:37, closed)

i do!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:42, closed)

Me too.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:43, closed)

i did
then Janet turned up
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:47, closed)

What the fuck? Janet's LOVELY.
Are you some sort of girlyman or something?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:49, closed)

If you're going to white knight,
at least do it for someone that looks like a woman.
(username failed moderation, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:57, closed)

been hit with the whiny stick again, have you?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:02, closed)

Awww, did she turn you down again?
Bless.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:08, closed)

I am waiting for your many stories of working in the red light districts janet.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:44, closed)

i can never tell those stories.
never.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:01, closed)

Awwww. This is almost sweet.
Or it would be if you were both in your seventies.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:30, closed)

Sicko.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:37, closed)

I can't tell a lie. I like the idea of old people fucking.
It makes me warm and happy.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 19:31, closed)

And harder than diamond-studded blue steel.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 19:56, closed)

Look at it. A cat couldn't scratch it. I could hang a fucking engine winch off it. BDOING.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 19:56, closed)

Down syndromes don't live that long.

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:47, closed)

"a functional bit of thrusting to clear away the cobwebs"



phwoar
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:48, closed)

Has she let you have a go on her again since?

( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:58, closed)

So, your finest wank fantasy is a mechanical exercise in clearing the pipes?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:55, closed)

You know, you're good at this and I love your work
But lately you've gone a bit, you know, samey. Have a holiday, take the missus somewhere nice and come back all refreshed - you owe it to your fans.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:34, closed)

Hey, look what I've got to work with. Not one of these grey-faced amateurs is half the creepy perv Albert Marshmallow was.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:48, closed)

I appreciate what you're trying to do
believe me. Give it time though - maybe we'll see a last-minute creep-out a la Albert that's ripe for some AB work.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:54, closed)

Isn't that precisely what wanking is?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 25 Aug 2012, 4:28, closed)

"This girl is 40 years old"
Surely she's not a girl, then?
(InflammableHound may be recorded for training porpoises, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 21:18, closed)

Shirley she's a "gal"

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 25 Aug 2012, 5:37, closed)

Good thing you're really in love with her then.
That way no-one's going to get hurt...
i.imgur.com/bktQJ.jpg
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 25 Aug 2012, 0:30, closed)