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This is a question The Wank Bank

What experiences have you had that you've stored in your wank bank - share them so we can start a mutual wanking building society

(, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 14:15)
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Freemans Catalogue
In my teens grabbed the pay by weeks for ever glossy mag and took it to my bedroom and inspected the lady undies section. Had my tiny teen manhood between mattress and bed frame in frantic love action and then Mum walks in.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 0:11, 28 replies)
Hang on a fucking minute...
You've stored 'being caught wanking by your mum' in your 'wank bank'?

That's really rather peculiar, you know.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 8:26, closed)
His mum is very attractive.

(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 9:06, closed)
Ah, that's alright then.

(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 9:09, closed)
This is like the start of a really specialised porn movie.

(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 8:50, closed)
I never got caught
but we used to get the Kays catalog.

I wonder if any women ever bought that stuff, or if it was just there to keep us teenagers occupied.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 9:35, closed)
I got caught
using the Krays catalogue.

Only had a quick tug over a picture of Jack "The Hat" McVitie, then Ronnie found out, popped round and stapled my nob to Barbara Windsor.

Still, lovely fella and all that, god bless ya guv.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:11, closed)
My Bravissmo catalogue keeps disappearing.
The perils of being a busty lass.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:23, closed)
You can have it back
when I've finished with it.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:43, closed)
My brother has the bravissimo catalogue delivered.
Nice of them to do that really.
(, Thu 30 Aug 2012, 8:01, closed)
Bras 'n Things.
Came in a large-ish pocket sized, easy to smuggle catalogue just ready to propped up on the dunny cistern.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 9:42, closed)

Did you nick the old one out the bin, and stash it in a cupboard?
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 9:55, closed)
No, his mum has her own bedroom.

(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 10:27, closed)
Bit of a Honda Accord post
Mrs ScousersPet was a model in her teens and did the Kays / Freemans underwear sections a couple of times. When I tried to take the piss out of her because of the amount of teenage lads that will have banged one out over her pics, she seemed really happy about it...

I'd also like to point out at this time that she stopped being a model around the time I started going out with her then, like all women, got fat once we got married. So I never really went out with a model and am definitely not married to one.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 10:51, closed)

(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 10:55, closed)
She actually still has the pics
But they were from when she was about 13 / 14, so posting them might get me put on some form of register.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:02, closed)
Bet you've cracked
one out over them though.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:22, closed)
Someone wrote into Viz about this
What if I sell pictures of myself as a child running around the garden nekkid?
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:34, closed)
You'd confound the court system by having to appear as both criminal and victim simultaneously.

(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:50, closed)
I don't get parents
that allow/push their kids into doing underwear shoots for catalogues. My daughter would have screamed if I'd walked into her room when she was in her undies at that age (just for clarity's sake - I always knocked), but there's NO WAY she'd have posed for a grown-up with a camera!

Any explanation would be genuinely interesting. I know there are parents that put their kids in for 'Miss Scunthorpe', or for page 3 pics as soon as they're 16...I just don't know why. Is it simply the money, or do they enjoy the thought of people wanking off to images of their children?
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:52, closed)
Column A.
Column B.

Honestly - $$$$! I'd say. I'd guess that the scrupulousness of those type of parents probably end where the cash/cheque/atm came into play rather than some demented paedo wish full-fillment.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:57, closed)
... my missus started because a mate of her dad's (I think) was doing the packaging for Fuzzyfelt (I think), needed some kids to put on the front of the boxes and so asked the FIL if Mrs ScousersPet would like to do it. She then did a few other things for toys (she has a Plasticine box with her on the cover as a nipper) and then was asked to do clothes stuff for catalogues. Her folks didn't have a problem with her doing swimwear or underwear because it was all for legit companies, not just for modelling's sake or for "Little Miss" type competitions. She was just a hanger for the clothes, really. They never pushed her to do it and when she said she didn't want to do it anymore, they didn't mind at all, it was entirely her choice.

She also go all the money she made from it when she went to uni, everything ewas paid into a savings acount that she could only access when she turned 18.

She only stopped when she was in her early teens because her boobs ballooned and there's not much call for a kid's clothes model with a DD chest. But she said she liked doing it, I think mostly because she's a bit of an attention-seeker, and said a few times she would have quite happily done it again once she was a bit older if she hadn't put a bit of weight on in her teens.

We've got a daughter now and, if she wanted to, I wouldn't object to her doing modelling like her mum did (you have no idea how many times I had to rephrase that so it didn't sound really pervy).
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:55, closed)
so you both find it funny that people have masturbated to pictures of your wife in her underwear when she was 13?
strange old world, innit?
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 11:56, closed)
More funny "weird" than funny "ha-ha", but I can't say it bothers either of us
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:39, closed)
yeahbut it's normal innit
There are lots of 14 and 15 y.o. who need to have their own material. There is no problem when it is age appropriate, I reckon it is even normal. The problem comes if there is a big age difference, like more than 5 years. It would be just wrong for an eight year old boy to be wanking over the photos.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 14:45, closed)
of course
but this is Janet, she's looking for something to sarcastically attack.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:52, closed)
i shagged a model once
i've still got a bit of its propellor under my foreskin.

thanks folks, i'll be here all week
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:01, closed)

all week FOREVER
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:18, closed)
I quite liked the sideboob and topbum found in the Shower and Sunbed section

(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:19, closed)

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