cemetary
my dad's a keen genealogist (person who traces family history and family trees), when he's not too busy being a doctor. anyway, we used to go to Wales quite a lot to see friends, and on most of the journeys there, we had to pass a churchyard with a load of graves in it ... every single time for the last thirty or more years (i have older siblings who can back me up on this, me being only 18) he's said (and got us to join in with) "that's the church where some of our ancestors are buried" ... kinda like a little mantra, except we only say it once as we go by. being jewish and all, kinda makes you wonder about why our ancestors are buried in a churchyard. :P it seems to be ingrained in me enough anyway, and i reckon when i take future generations past the same church, it'll no doubt end up being said.
(zenmeban thinks the weather could be better, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 11:07, Reply)

Every
time I walk/drive past a graveyard, if there is someone with me, I always say "dead round here, isn't it" - half the time they don't notice the graveyard and go "yeah, you're right"
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 11:06, Reply)

On the bus to work
I click my teeth together, in rythmns, from side to side, or front and back, in groups of four (front back back front, back front front back, back front front back, front back back front) Drives the old ladies mad, but makes me think Im Boney from Trap Door, so it's worth it.

I also have a good chuckle burning stuff at Beltaine, just to annoy the Christians
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 11:03, Reply)

dave
The bollocks thing reminded me of a similar situation at Leeds last year. Sat in our tents, wasted and looking for our mate, we started shouting 'Dave!' to discover his whereabouts.

Ten minutes of shouting and half the campground had joined in, all yelling 'Dave!' as loudly as possible.

Needless to say, with this going on as well as 'Bollocks' it took him a while to find us.
(sporky, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 10:24, Reply)

I also give the finger...
....to inanimate objects (signs, cows, houses)whilst driving. I drive a lot for work, and it passes the time. Stopped doing so for a while after giving the finger to what I thought was a scarecrow, but was in fact an elderly woman standing near the roadside.

I'm back in to it now though. Yay the mighty finger of mingus!
(charles mingus, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 10:17, Reply)

When stuck in boring family-type situations...
My brother and I play the meerkat game. This is how it works:

The person with the lowest boredom threshold will initate the game by impersonating a meerkat. (Stretch yourself up tall, hands in front of chest folded down, inqusitive look and scratch your ears occasionally). No-one must see him doing this. Should anyone see, they must do the same.

Eventually, there'll just be one person left in the room who isn't a meerkat, with everyone else doing the impression behind their back..... and sniggering.
( VeryGnawty, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 9:34, Reply)

Flipping the bird
I can't drive past my workplace (visible from the M4) without giving it the finger. Especially on days off.
(rogerzilla, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 8:31, Reply)

! POP !
when me and ms tak-tak make the car journey through our green and pleasant land we make a loud ! POP ! noise when we pass through the county boundaries.

! POP !

.
(sham-il-eer-tak-tak noes better but still can't give a fuck at, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 8:21, Reply)

A new tradition
was started with my kids and me as we travel northward to visit family, from Virginia to New York.

Ever see the movie "The Lion King"? Remember the opening sequence, of the sunrise over the African plain, with some guy yelling something in some odd language, which then segued into the song "Circle of Life"? It always sounded to me like the guy was screaming, "Peeeeeennsylvaniaaaa!"

So now as we travel along I-81, when we reach the border of that state, one of us screams out, "Peeeeeennsylvaniaaaa welcomes you!"

I have the feeling that that tradition will be passed down...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 30 Jul 2005, 4:59, Reply)

Not so much weird, I suppose...
...as potentially dangerous.

My father's family comes from northern Ireland. It seems that every year on St. Patrick's Day my great grandfather, and then my grandgather, always wore orange and marched in the Orangemen's Parade. So Dad insisted as I grew up that I carry on the tradition.

I found myself having to explain very calmly to people that it was family tradition. When I lived in one area it wasn't so bad, as people there were not as staunchly Irish, but when we moved to another area I got some very ugly responses indeed.

For several years I wore colors other than either green or orange on that day. Now, as an adult with kids of my own, I wear orange, but since their mother's family comes from south Ireland and are all good Catholics, they tend to wear green.

Sorry, Dad, that's one tradition I'm not going to try to enforce. It's bad enough being a Yankee living south of the Mason-Dixon line without adding that to it.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sat 30 Jul 2005, 4:53, Reply)

Wagon wheels
As a kid, my Dad used to sing the Wagon Wheel song and do the Wagon Wheel dance, if we ever ate Wagon Wheels. We were required to do the same.

This wasn't an officially sanctioned Wagon Wheel tune. It was one he invented. The lyrics were sheer poetry.

"Wagon Wheels, Wagon Wheels...
They're the ones that we like best
They're the best in the west
Wagon Wheels, Wagon Wheels..."

You sort of had to rock from one side to the other, taking a foot off the ground.

I grew up to be a well-adjusted individual. Says my Dad.
(DamoUK, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 1:41, Reply)

Traditions are contagious
My mate Rob always shouts "door!" when the phone rings, and "phone!" when someone knocks on a door. And now I've started doing it.

Also my ex used to do the holding cigar(ette)s in a cupped hand for the same reason....(to avoid being spotted by snipers whilst doing stag at night) despite having done no military service, he has pretensions of having been an officer in the Royal Marine commandos.

Also....... I have to spit out the nut fron ferrero rocher chocolates (I don't like nuts, see), wrap it in the gold foil, making sure the sticker is on top, and putting it back in the brown casey thing, so it looks like a tiny one.
(Ryuken-Kai, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 0:28, Reply)

Going to school.
(Says it all.)

Also, I've broken some major family traditions by not dropping out of school at 14, not getting chucked out from home at 15, not getting married at 16 or living on the dole for the entire course of my life. Mind you I'm only 19 so there's still plenty of time for the dole later.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 0:23, Reply)

weird traditions
i grew up in a christian home... and as you may know christians love their "anointing oil." if youre not familiar with this, if they feel someone needs a lot of help and only god can provide it, they put a little drop of oil on your forehead and commence to the prayer session. i never cared one way or the other about this... tradition... but one day when i was about ten, we had a visiting minister at my parents' church, and i guess the sermon must have been about sins committed with the hands or something because they wanted everyone to get up, form a line, and have this anointing oil placed on their hands. well naturally my mother jumped right in line and dragged me along with her (my father used to run the sound system at the church or he'd have been there as well), but when it came my turn i didn't want anything to do with the oil. i shoved my hands in my pockets, and kept them there despite several requests (and hissing demands from my mother) to take them out. finally the minister shook his head and touched the outside of my pockets, so he got his frickin oil on my hands whether i wanted it or not... dick. it must have been REAL embarrassing for my parents, because they were both incredibly angry at me and when i got home, i got the worst spanking of my life. my father had me by the arm and was chasing me around in a circle with the board he used for the job... it must have looked like some sort of strange, violent square dance. no offense to anyone but DAMN christians are dicks...
(Gabriel Edson, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 0:22, Reply)

As has been said at least once,
BOLLOCKS!

The louder the better, best thing in the world is hearing it go round the whole area of tented, intoxicated festival-goers.
(Wombatovic, Sat 30 Jul 2005, 0:13, Reply)

Parents lie...
My flatmate once informed me of her father's insistance that playing with eggshells after eating boiled eggs would give you warts...

this is the man who also maintained that holding your earlobes after burning your fingers on something would soothe the pain...


Personally, I think he just couldn't be arsed with tidying away mashed up egg mess or bothering with proper first aid
(barrythief, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 23:52, Reply)

Pink Panther
A friend and his brother do the Insp Jacques Clouseau / Cato thing. Whoever is home from work first hides somewhere in the house and when the other sibling gets home they jump out of their hiding spot and attack. Of course they don't do this every day as you would be expecting the attack. it is so much fun to watch him creeping around the house calling out for 'Cato'.
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 23:09, Reply)

I'm sorry?

Whenever there is an advert on tv for hearing aids, my family tends to immediately stop mid-sentence to ask "huh?" "what?" "I'm sorry what did you say?" only to go back to the regularly scheduled convo as soon as the advert it's done. Don't recall exactly when this started but it still hasn't gotten old. Yay for cheap humour.
(Girlmitzi, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 23:00, Reply)

Carry on the legend of the
"haunted end toilet" to the next school generation
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 22:48, Reply)

Violence
I have a yellow mini.
I hate to think of the pain I cause.

And Smart cars aren't.

They're fuc*ing stupid.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 21:37, Reply)

The Annual Pictionary Tournament
Every Boxing Day my immediate family (parents, brother and 2 sisters) visit my Aunt's house for a post-christmas dinner and (now that everyone is of legal age) a general piss-up at some point during which we will play the dreaded Annual Boys vs Girls Pictionary Tournament.

At some point lost in the grand mists of time (early nineties I think) my Aunt got a Pictionary game at a car boot sale and now, every year, we have to endure this travesty of an event.

Not that Pictionary is a bad game, of course, its just that we (the boys) the never lose.

You see for some reason my Dad, Uncle, Brother and Myself are the motherfucking A-Team of Pictionary.

What my Dad lacks in mental faculty and ability to draw, he makes up for in his uncanny ability to roll a 6 on demand. My Uncle may think that "only poofters draw" but for some reason God has blessed him with the ability to completely shit on women's thought processes with a single word or gesture, turning their minds to jelly when they are on the verge of getting the right answer. I've seen him prevent them from guessing the word "Window" with only an Obi-Wan style wave of the hand.

The grunt work is done by myself and my brother, who seem to share exactly the same kind of bizarro mental processes. This enables us to guess exactly what the other one is trying to convey within 10 seconds of it being put to paper - stick man holding a frying pan with his head on fire? That'll be Andre Agassi then. Stick Man with a blob on his head? Gorbachev! Five Stick men in a row wearing flat caps? The Jarrow Marches!

It used to be funny, it used to be enjoyable, but you know how something is funny at first, but after endless repetition it stops being funny and just starts being downright embarrassing?

After 12 years that's what its like.

For the last 4 we've given them a half-a-board head start for fuck sake!

Every year, the female members of the family give this event a bigger build up than the bloody FA Cup, we've ever caught them practicing for god's sake, yet every year we win and the whole saga ends in tears and recriminations.

We can't even let them win - we tried that in 2003, but the plan fell apart when my dad turned out to be as about a convincing actor as Keanu Reeves. The controversy alone was almost enough to end my aunt and uncle's 25 year marriage until both parties agreed to strike 2003 from the the Pictionary record and never speak of it again.

Of course we can't just not play though - its tradition...


-- insert shitty length joke here ---
(gluskap, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 19:58, Reply)

VW Camper
Drivers wave to each other too.
(Oops....did I say that out loud cos I really bloody want to., Fri 29 Jul 2005, 18:31, Reply)

More
Thought of another one.

When driving in places that have place names saying where you have just got to (like in the countryside) we would see the sign in the distance and go "We're in Bacton nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnow" doing the 'ow' just as we went past.

We had a Peugeot 505- if you were in the front you would say it before the back row.

Oh, and you know the waving at other drivers thing? Smart Car drivers do it too.
(Clarabelle is reverting to type on, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 18:23, Reply)

Adverts and Posters
A tradition of me and my sister is to get the crappy adverts that are posted through the letterboxes such as the latest advances in helping people over 80 getting upstairs and friendly reminders from our local MPs asking for your vote.

We'd then place them in each others beds without the other knowing, so that on going to bed we'd find a lovely bit of bedtime reading. I think the last one I had was advertising some yummy dog food.
( Hainesey, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 18:11, Reply)

Public school
My school decided to invent a new tradition 510 years after opening. They rigged up the rusty old school bell on a stand with a xylophone beater and at the start of the school year got the youngest kid in the school to come up on the stage and ring the bell. At the end of the school year the oldest kid had to do it. A new line in public humiliation.

The girls also sat on the left side of the hall for morning assembly and the boys on the right. This made it easier to divide into halves for the hymn that our psychotic music teacher decided had to be sung first by the girls, then the boys.

Home traditions were that every time we went to Wales to see my grandparents (every school holiday) we listened to possibly every John Denver album known to man. This means that 15 years later I still know all the words to possibly every John Denver album known to man.

The Christmas tree goes up on December 1, the day after my birthday, and the fairy/angel/woman in dress (who incidentally is a dead ringer for Camilla Parker-Bowles) goes on last. And on the way to Wales the John Denver albums are swapped for... John Denver's Christmas albums. And Slade and so forth.
( Maladicta, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 18:07, Reply)

Landmark quotes
My family and I used to go camping at the coast, about an hour and a half away. About 20 minutes into the trip, we'd pass this lovely little blue old schoolhouse, straight out of Norman Rockwell. At this point, somebody would always say, in regards to our next-door neighbor:

"Ted's sister used to be a teacher here. Can you believe she used to drive all the way out here every day?"

This continued for years, and even 20 years later I still say it.

Oh, and we always had the tradition of honking the horn and holding your breath going through tunnels.
(Jaycatt, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 17:40, Reply)

Oh yeah...
...and while I remember, I have a little tradition of my own (that only I follow), where, upon returning jhome from work, I open the door and call "Hi Honey, I'm home!"

This is regardless of whether GigerVamp is in the kitchen(where I'd be standing as I say this), livingroom, or wherever.

Did it before I was married, and did it even when I lived by myself...

I dunno. Best not to ask really.
( GigerPunk has, hopefully, slept since, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 17:40, Reply)

I work on a BBC website in Wales.
This week someone from Texas wrote in, asking: "My grandpa had a tradition I wanted to know if it is Welsh? He used to blacken our faces and place us under the bed on our birthdays." We've no idea if it stopped there or if grandpa is now in the slammer - as my mate pointed out, it sounds more "illegal in most countries" than "Welsh"...
(xyandz, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 17:40, Reply)

It's a tradition to get tanked up and sing bohemian rhapsody at full volume among me and my friends.
(Arkanoid, Fri 29 Jul 2005, 17:34, Reply)