b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » I witnessed a crime » Post 122530 | Search
This is a question I witnessed a crime

Freddy Woo writes, "A group of us once staggered home so insensible with drink that we failed to notice someone being killed and buried in a shallow grave not more than 50 yards away. A crime unsolved to this day."

Have you witnessed a crime and done bugger all about it? Or are you a have-a-go hero?
Whatever. Tell us about it...

(, Thu 14 Feb 2008, 11:53)
Pages: Latest, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, ... 1

« Go Back

Wednesday is teh new Thursday...
This happened to me just the other day.

I am lifetime Spice Girls fan with Sporty being my absolute favouritist. Have seen them play shows all over da world inspiring millions of tweenage girls to embrace the mantra of “girl power” and suck it to the man dat keeps dem down.

I like to think off them as modern day suffragettes with Chlamydia.

Anyway as I previously mentioned Melanie C is by far the best, she can like totally sing and did dat wicked toon with Brian Adams.

I also like Brian Adams, but not as much as Marti Pellow.

Because I love Sporty so much I wanted to go to Cheshire to see where she was from, because I love where she is at innit. So I robbed my mum of some coin and pegged it to da bus stop as I had to get there before closing time so I could find someone to put me up for da night, I aint got no condoms, but I got pregnant once and got rid of it so I can’t never get pregnant again. If I want kids I guess I’ll just buy one like Madonna.

Chillin on the back of da bus I played the S Girls greatest hits on my mobile so everyone could have some girl power in their lives, some old bint asked me to turn it down so I told her to “get fucked”, she aint got no idea what the Spice Girls have done for this country, stupid wrinkly old cow.

Anyway after da disco party bus I got to da station and found out da ticket office, but it was well expensive so went and bought a couple of breezers to sink on the train and jumped the gate instead. The ticket monkey tried to stop me but I screamed that he was trying to touch my minge and I would get Jeremy Kyle to sue him.

Train journey was borin, drank breezers and listened to “two become one” because it is about fucking and I like fucking.

The train arrived in the Cheshire station at about 10:30 and I went off to find a pub before closing, and that is how I made it to Widnes on time.

PS I now have crotch rot do I put yogurt or cheese on it?
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 9:24, 12 replies)
Oh - *click*
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 9:46, closed)
have a *spang*
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 10:17, closed)
I love the way little bits of Proper English slip in - "As I previously mentioned"

I'm impressed.
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 10:26, closed)
Apologies for the inconsistant

writing style, but it physically hurt me everytime I wrote "da".


*feels old*
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 10:37, closed)
Suffragettes with chlamydia....
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 10:39, closed)
Why didn't I write something like this instead of the lame-ass shit I've posted.
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 11:35, closed)
it is rumoured
that yoghurt is the cure and cheese is the symptom.
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 11:38, closed)
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 11:41, closed)
That's: stifles giggles at desk.
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 11:53, closed)
It's a good job I don't like cottage cheese
It always reminds me of thrush innit

*click* and *cringe* for the mental imagery ;o)
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 17:08, closed)
Wikid bangin.
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 17:57, closed)
Sadly enough, this reminds me of an ex girlfriend.....
(its not my fault, I was young!)
(, Wed 20 Feb 2008, 18:50, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, ... 1