Nostaligia counts for a lot...
...and I guess that's maybe why I'm inclined to give the nineties more musical credit than they're due. There's a school of thought that says they were, in fact, a bit shit*.

But no crime against music could compete with the actions of a bunch of people who were actually supposed to be defenders of the faith. A bunch who were charged with the protection of everything we held dear, in the face of advancing threats from early incarnations of Cowell and his ilk. A bunch who, essentially, should have fucking known better.

I'm talking, of course, about the NME.

Pretentious, elitist, self-indulgent, snooty, egotistical and barely legible, it displayed nothing but the most naked contempt for it's entire readership. So up it's own arse the paper was brown at the edges.

The hyping of a band would typically go as follows:

Week 1: Band X are the greatest band in the history of recorded music. They are literally the saviours of rock & roll. If you don't already love this band, WE HATE YOU and you might as well kill yourself.

Week 2: Band X are a complete fucking joke. They suck the sweat off a dead dog's cock, and if you ever fucking liked them, WE HATE YOU and you might as well kill yourself. Because we're better than you, and don't you ever fucking forget it. Meanwhile, Band Y are the gre...

It came out weekly in print form, so at least bands could be cool for a week. These days an online version would probably go through the same sorry cycle in about 45 minutes.

You can berate Cowell, Walsh and Waterman for selling shit to plebs all you like, but nobody did as much to turn ordinary people away from good music as these cunts. Who's at least partially responsible for killing the public's interest in quality? The editorial staff of the NME - take a fucking bow.

*Nothing like as shit as the eighties though. The eighties were musical horsewank.
(Monkey Tennis isn't Spartacus, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 12:02, 9 replies)

I used to live with a bloke who treated the NME as gospel
He was quite possibly the most pretentious man alive, right down to his crush velvet blazer.

I often took great delight in using the NME as bog paper when we'd run out of normal loo roll.

A magazine about Wankers, for Wankers, written by Wankers.
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 12:15, closed)

The 1990s were a fantastic decade for music.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 12:32, closed)

I seem to recall
that when most people my age were necking pills and dancing in a field all night, the NME were blithering on about Suede being the future of music or some other bollocks. So yeah, that.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 12:43, closed)

The Eighties? Shit?
What about such artists as Paul Hardcastle, Fergal Sharky, Tpau, and Mel and Kim?

Such genius will never return.
(speedevil, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 13:13, closed)

Carol Decker
She needs one up the wrong 'un
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 22:52, closed)

80s troll bait
I always thought the NME sucked, apart from the funny pages and the gig ads. They never did the bands i was into.

As for 80s music sucking: again, most anything in the press or on the radio or TV was shite. The good stuff was a lot less 'popular'

2-Tone
First UK wave of Electro / Hip hop
Post-punk psychadelia/glam
Psychobilly
Anything on 4AD
Almost anything on Mute

I'd add Acid House, but that was right at the end of the decade (and i wasn't into it) and hey, the 90s would have been even more of a dead loss without that.
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 14:52, closed)

I love this.
The reviews are a joke. I remember reading one review of a Seasick Steve album where they basically said being a white man, how dare he sing the blues? Another review of a Keane album just slagged off the band members names and appearances. I'm no fan of Keane but Christ it was so fucking juvenile.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 23:49, closed)

Reminds me of a sublime moment on The Tube
Week one: the show finished with Jools and Paula gushing that next week we were to be treated to a live performance from "the greatest band in the history of recorded music": Sigue Sigue Sputnik.

Week two: with great fanfare and breathless anticipation, The Chosen Ones were brought on, and started perfoming their (what for the want of a better term I have to call) "music".

Sound of mass jaws dropping, as it became clear exactly how shit they actually were.

In fact it was a real defining moment in musical history: the first time that a band was fashionable for less time than it took to play their record.

Quite an achievement...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 11:33, closed)

I bought NME
for longer than was probably healthy, from some time in the late 80s up until about 4 years ago. It was, on balance, probably a waste of money, but it was cheaper than smoking and I got quite good at the crossword about sometime around 1997.

They did introduce me to some fine bands, but there was a lot of shite in there as well.
( Smallbrainfield, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 16:43, closed)