Good to see you're looking after yourself now you're up the duff.

( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:40, archived)

It was only alcohol!
Not going to kill the baby or anything!

Anyway, I'm hungover after drinking less BECAUSE of it.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:41, archived)

You are not pregnant.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:42, archived)

Ok then.
???? *what the fuck?*
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)

Well ... there are two alternatives:
a) you are not pregnant and making up silly stories to make yourself more interesting
b) you are pregnant and a tragic fool who hasn't spoken to any health professionals or friends and family about your pregnancy

I thought (a) was a slightly kinder assumption.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:46, archived)

Health professionals, yes
Family, no, seeing as I haven't seen them in fuck knows how long
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:48, archived)

Now I think you're just lying.
You were barking on about moving out of your parental house on here only a few weeks ago, and one of the first things a health professional would have told you was not to get pissed.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:50, archived)

Excuse me?
I lived in Portsmouth before Middlesbrough and before that, yes, my parents house. Before that (and I'm talking a year or two back now) I was living with my ex. So what you on about with a few weeks ago?!

And the health professionals told me I could drink a minor amount. Something like 4 units a week max
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:52, archived)

I'm still betting on (a)
but if it's (b) then you are (as everybody else has pointed out) a daft fuck and need to actually listen to what the health professionals are telling you.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:55, archived)

Not all in one go
you idiot. And you'd need to drink at least four units in one go to get drunk - I suspect your priorities are way out of line. If you can't go without a drink for 9 months then I suspect the sacrifices attendant on motherhood may be too much for you.
( Dekazer, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:57, archived)

I don't know any health professional
that would recommend four units a week. two maybe. and usually only red wine, for slightly elevated blood pressure.

for reasons I'm not going into on here this silly bint's attitude is making me very angry and not a little upset. grr.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:01, archived)

It's mostly for effect
Come and prance about moaning about tattoos instead :)

*hug*
( Dekazer, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:04, archived)

I think that was someone else actually
(the parental house one)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:55, archived)

Possibly.
But she's changed her username recently and I'm pretty sure she was talking about moving flat.

I really should revise my b3ta/talk life histories more carefully.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:01, archived)

. now
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)

I think you'll find that
alcohol, can in fact kill your baby. see: multiple jokes about gin.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)

Why did the gin cross the road?
To kill babies.
( Comma, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:45, archived)

A baby walks into a bar,
and drinks some gin and dies.
( stevierar, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:46, archived)

what did the baby say to the gin?

Nothing, it drank it and died.
( Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:50, archived)

How many bottles of gin can you fit up a dead baby's cunt?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)

I don't know
but I'll have the answer to you by five o'clock.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:52, archived)

a english baby, an irish baby, and a scottish baby,
they all drank gin and died
( stevierar, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)

How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two - one to change the lightbulb, one to drink gin and die. In agony.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)

Is the thinking here
"It's a Middlesbrough baby so it won't be any more retarded if I drink lots?"
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)

White Lightning is a primary food group in Middlesborough

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:44, archived)

White Lightening
and white cider in general disgusts me.

And people have got Middlesbrough all wrong. That's like saying London's retarded. I know it IS, but there's some of the odd few.

I don't drink that much anyway, for the record.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:50, archived)

drink think
( TN, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)

You've got Middlesborough wrong,
you can't spell it.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:52, archived)

Fuck off.
People like you need shooting. We're not like Scarborough, or Guisborough. Look www.middlesbrough.gov.uk
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:54, archived)

edit: oh, I've bollocksed this big.
Still. You're an idiot.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:55, archived)

ARF!
silly rnuk.
( jenpots, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:59, archived)

just enough to get a hangover
i don't think i want to talk to a silly lttle girl anymore
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:54, archived)

I think you're winding us up
because you know we'll bite. On the offchance you're not: "Foetal Alcohol Syndrome is the biggest cause of non-genetic mental handicap in the western world and the only one that is 100% preventable."
( Dekazer, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)

(can't go to the page - bloody libraries)
And that's repetitive drinking, isn't it? (Like I said, can't access page)
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:45, archived)

jesus h christ woman, how old are you?
Just don't drink at all, you soft tart.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:46, archived)

ARE YOU THICK?
Go and speak to a medical professional before you do any damage you silly little girl.
( Dekazer, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:46, archived)

So you got pissed last week and again yesterday.
re·pet·i·tive ( P ) Pronunciation Key (r-pt-tv)
adj.
Given to or characterized by repetition.

rep·e·ti·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp-tshn)
n.
The act or process or an instance of repeating or being repeated.
A recitation or recital, especially of prepared or memorized material.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:47, archived)

no.
and no.

and I really can't believe you didn't know that
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:47, archived)

Dearie me
alcoholism.about.com/cs/preg/a/blacer040316.htm
www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/681_1170.asp
or just fucking Google it.

Which bit of pumping alcohol around a foetus strikes you as mostly harmless?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:48, archived)

and:
Causing a child to suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome is really nothing short of child abuse and it lasts for life.
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:45, archived)

I would posit
that FAS is more damaging than neo-natal heroin withdrawal.
( Dekazer, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:47, archived)

and can also cause smaller heads
poor coordination, short memories, smaller heads, smaller heads and short memories.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:48, archived)

i think you forgot
smaller heads
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)

what about them?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:53, archived)

i can't rememeber

( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:56, archived)

care for a drink?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:00, archived)

only if it's gin


^{with a dead baby float}
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:02, archived)

well i think youre all over reacting
my mum drank when she was pregnant and im abolutely ornate pasty whitebread fish.

so there.
( Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:48, archived)

you can drink
where drink = the odd glass of (ideally) red wine

and the odd = not more than one a week or so.

but getting drunk is soooo stupidly dangerous for a foetus
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)

yea
im pretty much in agreement with Dr Shambolic

either shes lying about being pregnant (morally wrong)

Or being so ignorant it beggers belief
( Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:53, archived)