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Now I'm not having a go at you all.
But you dozy, fat cunts are very dull as of late.


Asides setting some of you on fire, I can't think of anything that I could possibly do with you to make you seem interesting, and fun.
That's why I, JMG, King of b3ta, am organizing a day where NO GIRLS are allowed on b3ta.
This will cut out the spotty types, who pander to girls all of the time, and shout at others so as to appear hard.
On the internet. In front of girls they'll never meet.

Also, it'll eradicate the dumb stuff women say.

Any further recommendations?

Yes Yes.... Y3s. gEt rid OF jmg LOLROFL!1./ etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:34, archived)
top hats and vicious dogs

(I helped save b3ta! Boondocks, YEAH! has a massive penis. Everyone is scared., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:34, archived)
Bake Sale

(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:35, archived)
Why not
try another board where they talk about being northern and stuff?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:35, archived)

another board where they talk about being northern and stuff suicide
(I helped save b3ta! The Incredible... accident free since, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:35, archived)
Whippets and mild and gravy on chips.
Thats what them northern types talk about.
(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:39, archived)
And going out in the snow
with no top on, having no money and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:40, archived)
Calling bread rolls stupid names and incest.

(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:47, archived)
MMMMM pork crackling...

(likeajackhammer, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:35, archived)
A hat that learns things for you

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:36, archived)
I think the proportion of women on here who aren't shit
is quite a bit lower than the proportion of men boys on here who aren't shit.

And when the non-shit women aren't around, the boys start misbehaving like mummy's left them with a chav slag babysitter.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:36, archived)
Gaz me pictures of your tits

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:37, archived)
This would be hilarious satire
if it weren't for the fact that you clearly are exactly the sort of drooling spotty teenager that gets JMG's knickers in a twist and makes the board more and more like an AOL chatroom.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:39, archived)
ZOMFGPWNED!!111etc!!1 and so on and so forth

(likeajackhammer, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:40, archived)
I think we should all go to an AOL chatroom

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:40, archived)
Wouldn't that require
giving some money to AOL for the privilege?
(I helped save b3ta! SpoonMeiser, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:42, archived)
That's the room for Southerners.
Thick queers who all think they're in a Guy Ritchie movie.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:42, archived)
shut it
or the guv'nor will kick out down the apples and pears
(I helped save b3ta! The Incredible... accident free since, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:48, archived)
I'm not that bad
am I?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:42, archived)
I have no idea.
You blur into all the other spotty teenage n00bs and you happen to be here and typing so you get all the blame.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:43, archived)
I'm 23 and I've been on here for 11 months.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:44, archived)
Sorry about that.
Blurry blurry blur.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:46, archived)
I think it's amusing that 23 year olds
think they are so mature compared to 19 year olds.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:48, archived)
I think it's amusing that a man who consistently talks about tit sweat
questions my maturity
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:50, archived)
Yay!

(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Fri 11 May 2007, 12:02, archived)
*fetches your pipe and slippers*

(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:48, archived)
*waggles nearly empty glass of port and makes 'harumphing' noises*

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:51, archived)
You know what the doctor said
it needs to be warmed first
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:52, archived)
The idea of being left alone with a chav slag babysitter
who would take advantage of my sexual naivity and prepubescent, hairless genitalia fills me with an excitement that I find hard to describe.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:37, archived)
but girls talk about fluffeh tiem and go on about their lives like anyone gives a fuck!

(likeajackhammer, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:38, archived)
That's why I cunningly and deviously said 'women'.
And I reckon the fluffeh ratio is:

20% girls
20% gays
60% teenage boys pretending to be gays or vainly trying to impress the girls

/judging people is great ... it reminds me how great I am
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:40, archived)
How is being gay going to impress a girl?
I'm terrified over how you must have fell in love.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:44, archived)
Bloodhound Gang: I wish I was Gay So I Could Get Chicks... or something

(likeajackhammer, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:46, archived)

gay queer

i wish i was queer so i could get chicks
dig guys that are queer
guys that don't dig chicks
that don't dig guys like me
see i'm not queer i'm too ugly
(I helped save b3ta! The Incredible... accident free since, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:51, archived)
they clumsily mistake 'gay'
for 'sensitive'
(I helped save b3ta! Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:46, archived)
I got here just in time to see shambles kicking off?
goody
(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:49, archived)
It was an 'or', not an 'and'.
But you're right ... my love for you is causing me untold sexual confusion.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:48, archived)
I love it when you get indignant

(I helped save b3ta! Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:50, archived)
I'm sorry, I was busy looking at Cute Overload.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:36, archived)
But where will the ladies go?

(therocker, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:37, archived)
We shall clone Big Fat Neil and Queer Eye on The Straight Guy several thousand times over...
then play a real game of command and conquer!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:37, archived)

Eye cock
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:38, archived)
No use of the letter 'e' or the number one.
And go through he square window.
(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:37, archived)
Oh god yes! I vote for a FUCK OFF JMG Day
If it's boring, do something about it. You're threads suck ring. How do you expect an interesting response when you're choice of thread is always cack?

But thats just my girly fluffy opinion.
(I helped save b3ta! WebWench Like a winch, but more curvy, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:37, archived)
suck
ring
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:38, archived)
Who are you?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:42, archived)
Your Mum!
Now stop playing around on that bloody computer. Tidy your room and get a life!
(I helped save b3ta! WebWench Like a winch, but more curvy, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:44, archived)
I'm sorry I may have upset you by being correct, earler.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:47, archived)
*Checks 'earlier'*
Nah, I'm all good thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! WebWench Like a winch, but more curvy, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:52, archived)
King?
I didn't vote for you.
(5nake Showing off his cast iron codpiece., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:38, archived)
You seem to misunderstand how a monarchy works

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:39, archived)
No I understand perfectly
you have to be the offspring of as long a line of inbred hicks as possible whilst being fortunate enough for the rest of the country to abdicate so that any old greek or german can sneak him/her self onto the throne.

Looks like it's applicable to Geordies as well.
(5nake Showing off his cast iron codpiece., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:43, archived)
I'm sorry.... do you realise you've spent Snake with a 5...
silly boy...
(likeajackhammer, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:45, archived)
No need to be sorry
Snake was already taken. There's only one way to spell 5nake and that's 5nake.

Did you realise you spelt cock with a hubare?
(5nake Showing off his cast iron codpiece., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:48, archived)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:50, archived)
Touché, Sir.
Tou, and I dare say, ché.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:52, archived)
needs more CAPITALS!

(likeajackhammer, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:57, archived)
Hi,,..um.. Do you realise you spelt spelt as spent?
Duh.
(I helped save b3ta! WebWench Like a winch, but more curvy, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:50, archived)
I have no edit at work.... the main b3ta site is blocked... I'm using www3.barnesy.org

(likeajackhammer, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:54, archived)
*makes allowances fot hubare typos*
Thank you for explaining, Sorry for the harshness.
(I helped save b3ta! WebWench Like a winch, but more curvy, Fri 11 May 2007, 12:15, archived)
Hello new person.
I'm JMG, champion of b3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:43, archived)
Champion and king?!
You must be amazing.

And hello to you also.
(5nake Showing off his cast iron codpiece., Fri 11 May 2007, 11:44, archived)
But what about Dave?
We mostly have truckers on here. Do they stay, or go?
(I helped save b3ta! SpoonMeiser, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:40, archived)
whatever

(I helped save b3ta! Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:44, archived)
do you text into GMTV on an opinion pole to state VEHEMENTLY that you're not really bothered!??

(likeajackhammer, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:48, archived)
I don't watch GMTV
i'm not a chav Northerner
(I helped save b3ta! Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:49, archived)
2/3

(likeajackhammer, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:52, archived)
shush up and get me some chocolate. I'm in a foul mood.

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:45, archived)
*hugs*
whyfore?
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 11 May 2007, 11:48, archived)