I just made some toast and it's a bit burnt on one side.
I really don't know what to do. Help me strangers.

Edit: Thanks internet, I don't know what I'd do without you.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

Scrape it a bit with a knife.

( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

Put your hand in the toaster

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

Scrape it off
Or bin it. Or eat it anyway and cry as you stuff it in your face.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

MAN UP

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

Cunt.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

I'm surprised I got there first actually.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:28, archived)

rub it on a slice of bread,
then you'll have two toasts.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

Man up.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

cut it in half and put it back in the toaster until the untoasted half is toasted

but then the already toasted half might have burnt so you'll have to start from step 1
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

Eat it, burnt toast is yummy

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

Get two more slices but keep your eye on it this time

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

Damn right. THERE'S A RECESSION ON FOLKS.
Two wasted slices is unfortunate, but four slices is UNFORGIVABLE in these DISTRESSING TIMES.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:08, archived)

THINK OF THE DUCKS

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:28, archived)

Send out for a takeaway.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

Oooh, the chippy's tempting me tonight.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:08, archived)

HOW CAMP WAS THAT.
Fucking hell Neptune you big queer cunt.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:09, archived)

OOOooooooooooh CHIPPIES!

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:10, archived)

Whoooooooooops! There goes me savaloy!

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

Be sure to check out the faggots.

( FoldsFive, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:10, archived)

Haha, you do know that's like a derogatory term for a gay as well don't you?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

WHAT?
Shit! Why did nobody inform me of this?! Was there a memo?
( FoldsFive, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

Battered sausage sir?

( broadsword, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

MAKE SURE YOU TAKE A BIG COCK UP THE ARSE

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:21, archived)

Go on a murderous rampage.

( FoldsFive, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:09, archived)

Oh fuckin' 'ell Mike...
Are you ok? I mean, seriously, that's a pretty shitty thing to happen to someone. Here, I was saving these diazipams, but you can have them. Damn man, does your family know? How are you going to tell them.

Shit, this is going to devistate all the kids down the orphaniage, it'll be like loosing their parents all over again.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:09, archived)

Cheers for the support gonz.
I've tried to keep it quiet from the family since we're running quite low on bread and mentioning it would only bring back horrible memories of the butter incident of several weeks ago.

I'm coping, just about. Your words mean a lot. Thank you sweet prince.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

At times like these, I look upons scripture to brighten my dark thoughts.
May I suggest the collective work of the apostals of jesus?

May god's will be done, brother, salon malechem.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

Call a Quaker
They make Toast So Simple
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:14, archived)

I think /talk is at its best when it's at its worst
sad but true
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

Well whatever you do,
don't wipe the knife in the butter after you've got a load of burnt toast crumbs on it.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:18, archived)

And the same goes for getting bits of coffee in the sugar as well, young man.

( FoldsFive, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:19, archived)

Gah
Stupid fat bitch at work puts the wet tea spoon in the sugar. It makes me feel icky.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:21, archived)

That's disgusting.
Tell her to wash it up if she's going to make a mess like that. Damn stuff sets like sweet brown concrete.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:26, archived)

I have commented
However she is one of these people who can never be wrong and will put you down at every opportunity. I may actually hate her. Also, I don't use the sugar so I have given up.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:28, archived)

Shes a vet?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:37, archived)

Yes...

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:47, archived)

No, she gives piggy back rides for money.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:48, archived)

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA THERE!
Back up a bit...

Sugar? Tea? FUCK'S SAKE
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:28, archived)

Yet another reason why she is a disgrace!

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:29, archived)

Worse. Than. Hitler.

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

How do you have your tea, Milknosugar?
I can never remember.
( FoldsFive, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

I like my tea like I like my women.
With biscuits. Or cake. Or both. :)

HELLO MISTER FOLDSFIVE!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:34, archived)

Pyramid shaped and vacuum wrapped in silver foil.
Evening, chap. I'm shortly off out for beers with *ffl*n* p**pl*. Well, James at any rate. The Nursery and Pints of Mandrill await..! If it's not genuinely liquidised baboon, I won't be happy.
( FoldsFive, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:35, archived)

I *heart* The Nursery. Top boozering there.

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:44, archived)

*clutches box of 'Tea Time Assortment'
*waggles eyebrows*
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:36, archived)

Nice.

( FoldsFive, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:38, archived)

OM NOM NOM NOM!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:40, archived)

Thoughtless.
What if the next person wants tea?
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 8 May 2009, 19:24, archived)

Fill bath. Sit in bath.
Turn toaster on. Drop toaster in bath.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 8 May 2009, 19:42, archived)