Wake up you cunts.
OR ELSE.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 6:00, archived)

I am awake you cunt.
OR ELSE WHAT?
( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:01, archived)

It's not going to happen now I know you're awake.
'Ning former-bishop.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 6:04, archived)

Morning.
I couldn't sleep last night, so I've spent the last couple of hours with a razor and I now have a mohawk. It's something that I've always wanted to try. Problem is that I can't see the back of my head so I've no idea if it's even or not.
( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:16, archived)

Also, my head is bleeding in places.
Also also, I think it might make me look a bit gay.
( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:19, archived)

Nah, it's the lithping.
And the generally acting camper than Alan Carr and Julian Clary spitroasting Simon Amstell in the back of a camper van parked inside a gay nightclub that makes you look gay.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 6:24, archived)

That and the FRANKLY DISGUSTING Meat Heresy.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 6:25, archived)

MEAT REGRESSIVIST!

( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:26, archived)

I think you meant this:
MEAT REGRESSIVIST! You are correct High Priest stuj, and I humbly confess my sins and ask forgiveness from the Holy Golden Bum Of Ding. May her radiant buttocks shine their softly glowing light upon me once again.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 6:51, archived)

Break your bathroom mirror in half.
That way you've got two mirrors and can check.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 6:20, archived)

I'll ask my housemates when they wake up.
That'll also be a good opportunity to gauge responses to my new hair. If reactions are bad I can shave the lot off and wear a hat until it grows back.
( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:33, archived)

I am awake
give me a phrase to fill my day
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:35, archived)

"History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of men: Godzilla."

( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:37, archived)

Explain to me this :
what does that mean?
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:42, archived)

I think it's fairly self-explanatory.
Whenever men are doing something monumentally stupid, nature turns around and slaps them in the only way it knows how - with Godzilla.
( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:51, archived)

He also shows up whenever Mothra needs to be told what's what, Rodan has to be put in his place
or Mechagodzilla starts getting uppity.
( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:52, archived)

So Godzilla exists in nature then?
I did not know that.
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:55, archived)

You must be pretty fucking stupid, then.

( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:08, archived)

This may be true,
I'm not in a position to tell you yay or nay
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:22, archived)

You seem pretty OK.
Hello, and welcome to /talk. Haven't seen you much in these parts before.
( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:33, archived)

HULLO THERE MISTER and thank you
I am looking after a dog named Jodie and she keeps grinding her teeth. I thought you might like to know about my current predicament.
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:50, archived)

Botulinum toxin is sometimes used to treat severe tooth grinding in humans.
You could try that on the dog. Even if it doesn't work, it'll sort out her wrinkles and crows' feet and take 10 dog years off her age!
( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:58, archived)

She is 8years old
A dog that looks -2 is something I would rather not look at, but if it stops her teethgrinding I'll inject her with things I find in the bin if you reckon it might help.
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 8:05, archived)

Get oooorff moi laaand!
/Farmer Palmer
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 6:41, archived)

BOLLOCKS
/Roger Melly
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:44, archived)

Piss up a rope fuckstick!
/Rude Kid
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 6:46, archived)

I'LL KILL BOTH OF YOU
/my Dad when when he walked on me sucking his mate's penis on my younger sister's bed
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:53, archived)

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 6:55, archived)

HAHA you thought I was a man
you fantasised about it, you thought about sucking your Dad's mate's penis again

I've got tits and a mimsy so I'm allowed to put such things into my mouth without fear of being labelled gaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy.
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:00, archived)

You're a Dave you say?
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:02, archived)

Some of my best friends are Dave

( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:03, archived)

Gaaaaaaaaaaayyyy.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:04, archived)

Gay Dave isn't actually gay, he just walks funny.
I have my doubts about Dave the Coat, he enjoys rugby far too much
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:12, archived)

Ga no, I can't be bothered anymore.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:16, archived)

Gay.

( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:34, archived)

Shush it up BLASPHEMER!

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:43, archived)

One day Ding shall return.
Then we will see who her favoured prophet really is!
( MooCow_Byter, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:49, archived)

Yes.
Me.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:54, archived)

No
I am the one, I've got an NVQ in Prophetic Deliveries.
It must be my turn now.
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 8:00, archived)

Not a chance.
Don't make me call in the Incoherent Inquisition.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 8:01, archived)

It's a level 2 NVQ
BEAT THAT
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 8:06, archived)

this is a normal message
FUCK OFF WITH YOUR VIETNAMESE!
It's a level 2 NVQ
BEAT THAT
(Ministry of Nutmeat will steal your oesophagus for research purposes, Tue 12 May, 8:06 …)
^^heheh STUPID HAT!
HUN DAN!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 8:11, archived)

DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE AND SPANK YOUR BOTTY

( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 8:15, archived)

Minus 100 points for incoherence.
Minus 200 points for Golden Bum Worship.
Minus 1000 points for Stupid Hat.
And no Arno = Minus eleventy million points
You've got even less chance of running the Holy Church Of Ding than that meat-heretic.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

+ You filthy post deleterer.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 8:40, archived)

superb
did your dad take it well?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:16, archived)

+ as

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:17, archived)

He is still imprisoned because of the decisions of a judge regarding his actions
so no
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:21, archived)

Len Goodman or Bruno Tonioli?
he was warned against disco in a Ballroom context.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 12 May 2009, 7:28, archived)

Len Ganley
crimes against snooker cues
( Shlvng, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:29, archived)

Gnah',
I've woked up really pissed off, I want to punch some fucking twats in my office. One guy's decided to tell everyone my private information, stuff that he only knows because he put two-and-two together after something else I showed him when I first started working there... stuff that isn't entirely true.

Then some smug twat, from the above news, started asking me how old my mum was, in a serious mannor.

Fuck it, next time I see him, I'm going to ask him how old his daughter is (14) and then ask if she's fit and if she would get it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:02, archived)

Still, nobody's tried to rape you yet 90Nz.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:04, archived)

oh gonz
just shave your hair off to a number one and wear mirror raybans
they'll leave you alone
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:13, archived)

Where can I get a turkish army uniform?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:47, archived)

The Turkish Army.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:47, archived)

Or ebay: militaria, uniforms, modern, country: Turkey

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:59, archived)

oh gonzy
*cuddles*
*sits down for some hollyoaks repeats*
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:53, archived)

*Snugs up*
If ever you want to date one of life's greatest losers, then I know exactly who to set you up with.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:59, archived)

I've been awake for ages but I don't want to be

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 7:35, archived)

Tough.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 12 May 2009, 7:44, archived)