Now you see, I have sex with beautiful girls too, but they're not fucked up and they DON'T have kids.
I don't know why anyone would boast this dude...

She's a stripper with a kid, how is that good?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

Bloody child racist.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

You loved it. Now eat your lolly and shut up, or I won't take you naked hang gliding.
and when I say 'Hang Gliding'I mean you hold onto my chopper and I'll spin in cirles on the spot.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

This is not a lolly. It is attached to a big sweaty man holding a tenner in your direction.
I WILL NOT BE PIMPED.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

But he's got Polly Pocket....

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

That's you sorted, what's he got for me, eh?
A hairy little cock that smells of onion. No.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

BUT I LIKE POLLY :'( for me? do it for meeee? please? pleeeeeeeeeeease?
*pug eyes*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

I'll nick it off him and run away if you like.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

sorted :D

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

because i hate boring normal girls

( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

because i hate boring normal girls girls without mental health issues won't go anywhere near me
( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Why not a non boring girl then dude?
It just seems like it's a constant cirle of heartache mate.

I've been out with SO many mental girls it's just not fun anymore.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

hahaha
I now imagine you with a string of downs ladies
(likeajackhammer, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

Because you said string I am imagining this
except they're all attached to the string and he's leading them about like a mummy duck.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

but the one at the end is on the ground being dragged along as she licks an oversized plastic icecream

(likeajackhammer, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

and honking.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

I've got a right good trouser flapper going on now.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:02, archived)

Get this, yeah, she's got one of them padded helmets on
but she's customised it with Hannah Montana stickers. Badly. Only on one side. On the other side there is some porridge.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:04, archived)

Fucking hell love, this crease buster I've got is hurting now...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:10, archived)

I'm too fucking good at this.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:10, archived)

I fucking love a girl with a bowl cut.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

+ n

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:18, archived)

This is ptoentially the dumbest thing I've ever read
Q: Why is a potential girlfriend that is a stripper with a kid good?

A: Cos normal girls are boring.


*head explodes*
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

So wait... you're telling me... there is such a thing as a "normal" girl?
I thought they were all mad as a brush.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

But...but...
they just ADORE weirdos.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

but you bore the pants off the interesting ones?

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:14, archived)

Noone knows about my threesome either,
apart from mum and dad obvs.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:03, archived)