Hello Whales.
JMG's reporting in for another night of man tits and tantrums.
How's the internet keeping?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

Hello Wales!
Everythin' gunna be all righ'.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

it's still here

( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

If I was going to place the internet somewhere.
It'd be well away from friends and family so I couldn't be labelled as a man who enjoys such things.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

The internet's in Slough.
Honest, I've seen it.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

it's about the size of a grapefruit and kept in a perspex box

( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

it has flashing LEDs and all wires coming out of it

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

and there's fireworks going off,
and it's all like POW, BAM, SHAZOOEY, KABLAMMO, FWAP!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:00, archived)

every 6 hours or so they have to pour a bucket of cold water over it as it tends to overheat

( Lightguy hail satan, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

This is true.
It's guarded by dragons and midgets.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

YOU JMG, HAVE RUINED MY ONLINING GAMING EXPERIENCE TODAY.
I HAD TO MSN A GIRL ABOUT AND I'VE PUT YOU ON BLOCK.

I'M JUST WAITING FOR MAFFERS TO SEND ME A GAZ NOW.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

Each time I went past you I put my controller down and stood laughing hearitly with my fists on my hips.
It did mess with my lap times, somewhat.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

This is dreadful internet.
You;re ruining my chances with chubby online girls.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:00, archived)

In better news, Dekionplexis got himslef nawty stepped.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

my downloads are going slow
and this makes me feel very... hungry.

I actually haven't eaten any dinner tonight. It must be snack time.

I also need to make a 20 question maths quiz and pack for the weekend before i go to sleep. I'm so organized.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Thu 21 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

make sure the answers to questions 15, 16 and 17 are 15, 16 and 17 respectively
then make the answers to 18, 19 and 20 something other than 18, 19 and 20
this will catch out all those that got bored during the first 14 questions
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

What?
No. bugger off.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 22 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

Hello JMG
I managed to maintain a cool head despite some provocation from another internet forum user this very evening.
It's been a trying day all round, but I'm yet to resort to eating cakes and screaming at people.
More importantly, how is JMG, this evening?
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

I hung out with ***line *irl tonight, and my good Costa Rican friend.
Much celebration was had.
Before I left I put a police camera action type show on and I made fun of our nation's rough element.

A successful night of JMG.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Eating biscuits.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

I'd like more of a reply.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 23:58, archived)

There, there..

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

More than that JMG.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

I'm a bit drunk jmg
and I've been playing snooker,
I'm shit at snooker.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

...and that's a bad miss...

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 21 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

*Firm handshakes*
Very manly, there.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

Had a banana instead of digestives,
I was doing well, but then I put a cheese and onion pie in the oven and ruined it.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

70 calories per biscuit
Leads to a very fat internet.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

4.5 grams of fat per biscuit!
Worryingly, I've gone through entire packets in one session in the past.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:12, archived)

FATTIE!
The only exception is Jaffa Cakes, which are like orange-flavoured Heroin.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:13, archived)

Ha,
I've eaten some* of those today.

*12
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

that's a standard portion

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:25, archived)

I've been playing some nifty lead breaks on my electrical guitars

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

Will you be starting an online radio station?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

I find I get better audience coverage by turning the volume up so the neighbours can hear what mp3s I'm playing

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

Haha!
OH GILGABULLY!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

There is going to come a point where everybody is broadcasting on an internet radio station
and there is no-one to listen as everyone will be broadcasting on an internet... and so on
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

You seem like a popular man-about-town
but having lurked in the background for a while, some people seem afraid of you
Is it a jealousy thing?
(starwars mcguinness is now... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

He's a terrifying man if you don't fit his criteria.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

Can't speak for the internet in general, but I'm fucking fantastic.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

Excellent news.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

I'm drinking wine and watching telly on the internet
I may soon play a bit of Swat 4 and annoy the Yanks a bit more. Nothing like a bit of pepper spray in the face to lower team morale.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

They clearly deserve this.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

The more they complain, the more they get tazered in the bollocks

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Fri 22 May 2009, 0:12, archived)