Hah
I have the office to myself since every other fucker is held up by greedy subterranean train drivers.

Should I take the opportunity to fart in the office ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

Not on your chair. Smells are particulate.
Microspatter shit on everyone else's chair.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

My dad never understands that I don't want his fecal matter up my nose.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

At least you're not so ugly he doesnt want to have sex with you.
Imagine THAT.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

There's a bit of narcissism in incest.
Even if I looked like Susan Boyle, he'd still rape me every night.

Oh, the night terrors.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

SuBo
Is how I imagine Mykey would look if he'd been born a woman.

PHWOOOOAAAAAAARRRRR !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

if?
*wiggles moobs*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

Slap a wig on 'im and a bit of mascara.
Actually, forget the mascara.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

If anyone cares, I just hopped on the bus this morning
Took me 20 minutes and cost only a quid.
And I work in London.
Imagine that, alternative forms of transport.
( SuperMatt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

Also: COCK TUESDAY

( SuperMatt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

I give it an hour before he's back
Its a poorly executed false flounce if ever i saw one, he even had to post the account suspension notice from his hermione account into his normal one to attempt to make it look real.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

90% of tube journeys are walkable
people are just lazy fucking useless cunts.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

For a large amount of commuters, that's not quite true. Between a couple of stops, yeah sure you can walk it
but when you get outside zone two, it's actually quite a distance between each stop, and if your journey normally takes you through ten of them...
( SuperMatt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:29, archived)

These people should just kill themselves then
THROW YOURSELVES INTO THE ROAD DARLINGS !!!
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:29, archived)

But then shouldn't the Bus drivers get more pay for all those suicides?

( SuperMatt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

No
they should get more pay for having to listen to FUCKING RnB BLARING OUT OF TINNY MOBILE PHONES ALL DAY.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

In the week I have been taking the bus to work, I haven't heard any tinny RnB
But I think that's because my route doesn't go past any schools.
( SuperMatt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

Also, they should put some kind of mobile phone jamming device on buses.
Hearing a Caribbean screaming down his phone at 6am while sitting behind me makes me want to throw up.

The bit I hate the most is when they have their hands free kit on and the continue to shout "I CAN'T HEAR YOU MAN! AM ON THE BUS!". A) take your handsfree kit off and B) wait until you're off the bus.

This is why I prefer the tube.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

Racist

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

Fuck you, golly-lover.
I recently found this and I love it.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Ethnic_and_religious_slurs
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

YOU WOULDN'T STAND A CHANCE

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

I want to see your research.
Hard evidence! 90% seems like a very convenient and rounded percentage.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

I just invented it
Based on the fact that the only time I ever commuted by tube, I gave up and started walking instead because it was either a 20 min walk or 15 mins on the tube and walking was more enjoyable and free.

Everyone else should just fuck off and die with all their needs and their differences
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

38% percent of Spanish black lesbian amputees agree with you!*

*Based on 164 entrants to a This Morning phone in poll.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

15% of gay spiders
think Gordon Brown is doing a good job.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

79.002% of war veterans under the weight of 12st who specialise in haberdashery believe that corporal punishment should be reintrouduced.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

Are you some sort of communist?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

Heaven forbid, I must be.
America is going to hate me now.
( SuperMatt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:29, archived)

Oh no!
I'd best hide my RMT card. They're sure to sniff me out!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

Unions eh? Good thing Maggie sorted them out.

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

I thought you were dead !

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

braaaains

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:47, archived)

Greedy subterranean train drivers?
Sounds like a job for Sam & Max
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

I reckon
it's all the Dr Who monsters they have to fight off late at night.

And I dont think £45,000 is anywhere near the mark for their basic salary. Maybe if they worked night shifts for a month with overtime they'd get the equivalent of that, but I think their basic salary is about ten grand less than that.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

You should take the opportunity to get naked

( Theoban What of it, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)