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I just called the rozzers as I saw someone getting seven shades kicked out of them.
When was the last time your grassed to the 5-0?
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)
and it wasn't the fuzz doing the kicking?

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)
Why is this thing in Nottingham big news?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)
WELL DONE, INTERNET.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)
replyin here
dunno

lol
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)
JMG FOR MOD!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:40, archived)
There was a smackhead unconscious at the wheel of a parked car
So I called the rozzers and basked in my community spirit while I watched him get nicked. Good times.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)
I phoned them up when I got bullied once on an internet messageboard

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)
Ha!
YES!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)
there should be an option next to 'reply' to 'report interbullies'

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)
the serious answer is ... when a drunk driver ploughed into the back of my gf's parked car then ran off in a daze of cheap red wine and airbag smoke
I got to drive round the streets in the fuzz car looking for the driver, it was like being Gene FUCKING Hunt
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)
SWEET.
Did they know you were a certified brainwrong when they let you in the car?
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)
it was the Cheshire fuzz, they're all a gang of inbred neanderthals

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)
Did you tell them your bird had been rear-ended?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)
broke her back axle :((((

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:37, archived)
did you get to slide across the bonnet?

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)
She was probably too upset about her car for that

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)
she wasn't home at the time, she was on a girly night out
turns out she'd had her drink spiked too, it just wasn't a fun evening with a drugged up crazy woman talking crap then bursting into tears while all the neighbours rubbernecked
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)
That fucking annoys me when they spike girls drinks
they never spike mine :(
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:37, archived)
oh, buddy, you don't know what you're missing
start grabbing random drinks and taking sips, you're bound to find a cocktail somewhere
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:39, archived)
sorry, too easy
tail
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 1:00, archived)
*cricket applause*

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)
the game or the insect?

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:43, archived)
when me and my mate got jumped in leeds
and some chavs fucked up my mate

apparantly it was my fault for laughing when I saw the local takeout had put CARROTS in my chicken kebab. The chavs didn´t like that.

edit: venicia pizza.. back in the days
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)
you know what there like
5 a day is what they need
(Agent Dale Pooper k in the p, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)
5 fiddles with mr willas, amirite?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)
only
if they can manage it and with a carrot up their arse
(Agent Dale Pooper k in the p, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:39, archived)
Some bloke having a go at a bird
think he'd twatted her, can't remember the ins & outs of it, was a good few years ago
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)
did he
twat her with mr willas?
(Agent Dale Pooper k in the p, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)
I called the police once when I saw a white van being driven really oddly
It came right up behind me, so close I couldn't see it's numberplate then overtook me on a blind bend in a 30 limit. So far so normal.

Then it roared off towards the national speed limit stretch but immediately slowed down to 25mph. Which was annoying because then I was caught behind it.

It wove all over the road and I was worried that the driver was drunk or on drugs, his driving was so erratic and weird.

So I called the police so hopefully they could find the driver and make sure he was OK.

They called me back later in the day to say that the van was delivering fruit and veg. The van owner had been aware of complaints about the driver's driving before. Getting a call from the police was the last straw and the driver got sacked.

I felt a bit guilty then :(
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)
That poor man :(((

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)
He certainly got his (p-forty) five a day

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)
Sounds like you reported a right menace
give yourself a pat on the back.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)
heard three gunshots in the alley behind my house at 3 am a few months ago

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:27, archived)
Bit of back alley action then?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)
probably someone backfiring
I really should make a sexual innuendo out of that, poss involving retrograde ejaculation but I just can't be arsed trying right now
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)
skeet skeet

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)
When some bastard pinned me to the wall with their car
and beat the crap out of me when I was minding my own business
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)
sounds like you deserved it, to be honest
I'm sick of you lot, minding your own business like it's your own business
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)
I probably did deserve it
Face seemed familiar, think I bullied him at school. Some grudge though for him to do that years later.
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)
When gypsys attacked me.
but yeah, never 999, just local station.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)
Racist.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)
they threw rocks at me and hit me with sticks with nails on :(
would have been 11/12 at the time.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:33, archived)
You're my duck now Dave

(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)
once when i was bored
they chased me round the park for half an hour then we were all worn out and had ice creams
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)
oh shit i´ve done it twice
my french housemate had a massive seisure/panic attack

told us ants were crawling in his brain. then he screamed for his mum, then couldnt breath.

man we laughed our asses off cos we were stoned. french say ants crawling, we say pins and needles :D

i was on the floor
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:40, archived)
yeh, my m8 did that, he definately imediately couldn't of breath
the looser
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:43, archived)
im going to stop drinking and go to bed

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)
I don't mind if you keep drinking, as long as you stop posting

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:50, archived)
my missus called the police when she heard someone breaking into the house
she also called me and i raced home from work.
After the police had gone I found the package the delivery man had left under our basement flat stairs. She was to embarrassed to tell them when the police came around again next week to get her to fill in a victims of crime report, though she did turn down counseling
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:46, archived)
The exact same thing a few years ago
Horrid stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:46, archived)
this dog was looking at me funny once

(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 0:57, archived)

nedroid.com/imagesb/beartato-scarydog.gif
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 1:11, archived)