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Cool bath.
I'm really pissed off. My boyfriend reckons he's got swine flu so I can't go and see him and I was really looking forward to a couple of days in London seeing him and some other friends too but now I have nowhere to stay.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)
Maybe he says he has swine flu
so he can cheat on you.

*plants the seeds of doubt*
*grows a beautiful doubt garden*
*trims the doubt bushes*
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)
It's not swine flu.
It's man flu. There's a big difference between them that you need to pummel into his thick skull.
(I helped save b3ta! Bats, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)
You're a lesbian. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MAN FLU?!!?
It's killer.

Plus the last thing I'd want is my GF seeing me all snotty and unsexy.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)
You've spunked in her mouth, it doesn't really get less sexy than that.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)
Spunking in mouths makes me feel dead sexy. I don't care what they look like.
I'm the one trying to maintain the sexy image.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)
You could spunk in her eye. That's unsexy.
Especially if she's asleep, and you spunk in her eye, and it solidifies and crystalises on her eyeball and eyelid and finally the slow growing pain awakes her, only she can't open the other eye and she's running around screaming in pain and panic like some kind of albino pirate under attack.

No tell a lie, that's pretty sexy as it goes.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)
Sounds like the voice of bitter inexperience here.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)
Why isn't that sexy?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)
'Coz his Real Doll never looks phased :(

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)
My life has been so empty since Matt took the complete life sized cardboard cut outs of the X-Men.
=((((
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)
That's mean.
I'm not doubting he's ill or anything, I'm just annoyed.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)
Haha, gutted.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)
Come to Leeds instead.

(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)