Is wanking at work wrong, or just another way to spend your break?

(dildogaggins is trying to lick ones elbow!, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

I constantly 'slank'; which is sleep wanking
Gets embarrassing if I nod off on the tube...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

I don't slank
but I've caught myself picking my nose in my sleep. So I guess I've been nose-slicking.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

DEAR INTERNET USER
wanking at work is IN BREACH OF THE WORKPLACE SAFETY AND WANKING ACT 1987

CEASE AND DESIST.
(INTERNETLAWYERMAN QC: Ace Attorney, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

I believe, though I cannot remember my sources so I can't quote them,
that women are actually more likely to wank at work than men.
( SuperMatt, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

It was from that camera you set up in the women's bogs.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

They can just straddle a chair though
Do it quite discretely
(__, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Girl's ride your massive skull like a sybian.

( WormuIus, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

I'M USEFUL

(__, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

as opposed to being chinfucked?
haha
( moohalaa, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

I don't think those magazines are peer-reviewed.

( Newington, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

I've peered at the reviews.

( WormuIus, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

This was written by someone who obviously doesn't count "being in the armed forces" as work.
If I had a pound for every wanking story I've heard from RAF boys, I'd have enough money to buy a course of electric shock therapy to remove the images from my brain.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

Depends.
Do you work for a nursery school?
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Wrong!

(dildogaggins is trying to lick ones elbow!, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

It's a good way to get a head on a flat pint.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Guy at the bar the other night was adamant on putting a head on a pint of cider
I was not best pleased
(__, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Serves you right for drinking cider.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

Shit, I seem to have stumbled into the elitest drinks forum
I was with mates and it was a sunny day. Ice cold draught cider was gorgeous for the atmosphere
(__, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Gorgeous for the atmosphere
Ah! didn't realise it was a gaybar.
( WormuIus, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

He was sitting on a park bench near some kids on the swings

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

poor old Friz,
no beer garden is large enough to contain his swollen face.
( WormuIus, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

It was a gay bar though..

(__, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

cider?
are you 12?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

Stowford Press Cider
It's gorgeous
(__, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

I object to this
I like cider. I drank vodka and stubbies of crap french beer when I was a youth, so the taste of cider doesn't remind me of puking behind the swings.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

you're a girl
cider is ok for girls
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

Yay!
Thanks internet :)
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

are you the office clown?

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

sorry sorry
I meant 'downs'
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

I like to call them 'Mobile Coffee Tables'

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

Relieves the boredom.
And is fairly enjoyable. Why not treat yourself?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

Or how about
OMGLOLWACKY
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

Y OFF
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

I don't think even a prostate massage could relieve the tedium that is Coventry.
I'm having to force these jokes nowadays.
( WormuIus, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

WRONG!

( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

i42.tinypic.com/2qjvgom.jpg
( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

SPIDERBABY

(__, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

What?

( WormuIus, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

If wanking at work is wrong,
I don't wanna be right.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

this may be why I'm unemployed.

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

I have never had sex or a wank at work.
It's not like I haven't tried, but you get funny looks when you work in a morgue...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

lol zany larious

( WormuIus, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Depends what you work as.
If you deliver babies, in can be seen as a little uncouth I suppose.

On a side note, I am on B3ta for the first time ever at work. The time will fly by....
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

until you get fired.

( WormuIus, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)