If I went and you didn't turn up, I'd track you down and make you shit out your spleen onto a ricecake.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

I imagine a few on here don't know what a rice-cake is.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

JMG.
Despite not being a particularly fat man, I am on a diet.

This should set an example to all the fat miserable internets, but it won't.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

i am not on a diet
but my fitness is improving due to exercise

i also will fail to inspire my fellow men, no doubt
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

Exercise is next on my list.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

runrunrun
it's working for me
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

I'm going to get a bike I think.
OH WAIT, THAT WOULD OPEN UP TOO MANY HILARIOUS JOKE OPPORTUNITIES :(((((
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

HAHAH BUD AAAAA you ride a BIKE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH roffle raffle lolz! It's got pedals and shit! AHHHHHH!!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Yes. Your Mum.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHJFUCKTHISWEAKSHITHOMEBOY
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

OH SHIT DOG YOU WENT TOO FAR
I'M GOING TO PUT A BOTTLECAP IN YO ASS BO-OI-OY!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

I'M AFRAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR EBONICS AS I AM FAT, WHITE, MIDDLE CLASS AND LIVE IN SCOTTISH SLUMLANDS.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

EEVA DO I.
WHERE'S MY INHALER?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

that would also be good
presumably there would be nice places to ride near you

i mean... ahem
O RLY?! WHAT'S HER NAME AHAHAHA
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

There's the whole of the South Down and the coast road.
YES, I WILL RIDE A BIKE ON A MONGFACE.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

sounds good. i haven't ridden my bike in a looong time
THE ISLE OF WIGHT HAS A BUS SERVICE CALLED THE DOWNS TOUR
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

I laugh every time we drive past Down's Hotel in Brighton
cr3 looks at me disapprovingly.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

Do you snigger all the way through that area
Being the South Downs and all :P
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

I'VE BEEN TO MINEHEAD, UK CAPITAL FOR DOWN'S SYNDROME.
I saw a Down's today. He was about 28 stone in weight and had a tongue like a fashionable neck tie.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

i was helping out with a charity 10k run last sunday
there was a down's running. he did pretty well and got very excited when we cheered him over the finish line
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

Were you actually watching "The Ringer"?

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

I've been doing exercises every day this past two weeks,
haven't lost a pound yet.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

Should have gone to Specsavers.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

oh yeah
"exercises" hmm.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

yes
like sit-ups and shit.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

what kind of exercise? are you really working at it?
you have to eat kind of healthily too
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

It gets me tired out,
and I don't eat junk anyway.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

keep trying

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

Don't forget that muscle weighs more than fat

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

yeah I'm hoping that's what's going on,
it's a lot easier now than when I first started so something's definitely happening.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

for them, it'll be a RIS cake
( vladimir, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOHNOMYFEETAREWET

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

oh dear.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

Some forrin muck from the 'chinky' no doubt.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

NOW NOW, LET'S NOT HIDE BEHIND A THIN VEIL OF CASUAL RACISM.
Summer time is CAPS TIME.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

MORE LIKE RICISM
*applause sign lights up*
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

IRIE
Word up homes... How's life on the south coast?
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

SWEATY.
And you?
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

MUCH THE SAME. MAN MUSK A GO-GO
I'm glad we had this chat. Nice to see you about the place, rattling some chubby cages.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

DON'T BE A STRANGER, ESPECIALLY THOSE CREEPY TYPES WITH STAINED COATS AND FORLORN EYES

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

*turns basecap backwards*
YEAH!
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

I let the INTERNET decide what I'm getting from the chinese

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

Ask them for CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA with EXTRA poppadoms

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

CAKE!
etc
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)