Bloody Hell
Fucking Labour government :(

They promised five years ago that 07/07 wouldn't happen again.

And, fifth year in a row, here we are. Again.

EMPTY PROMISES.
(__, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

clever

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

I giggled at that and felt ashamed.
And then memories of my standup surfaced and then suddenly, I didn't feel so bad.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:12, archived)

The stand up at
www.jamescartercomedy.com you mean?
(__, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

Yes, I think that was the one.
*Takes it on the chin*

God that hurt.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

1. Don't take pre-written stuff onto the stage
2. Don't chat with audience members that you know.
3. Cohesion. Move from one subject to the other smoothly. If you just say "Chavs, eh?", it just sounds awkward
4. If something feels like it's not working, wrap it up. Don't just stop the story half way.
5. Swear for comedy effect only.
6. There's nothing wrong with jokes. Stories are fair enough, but only if they're funny and work. Next time, get some jokes on stand-by. Like the typical one-liner.
7. Slow down the pacing. The bit where you describe the driving instructor is a funny chain of words, but you rushed through them; slowing down means the audience can hear you, and if there's a joke being said, they need to be able to hear it.
(__, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

1. nerves
2. nerves
3. nerves
4. nerves
5. nerves
6. ...
7. nerves
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:20, archived)

1. Constructive criticism
2. Constructive criticism
3. Constructive criticism
4. Constructive criticism
5. Constructive criticism
6. ...
7. Constructive criticism

My first gigs were shit, then I was told how to improve them. If I wasn't told, I wouldn't have improved.
(__, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

This
My arse could have made a noise that rivalled a dog whistle I was that nervous.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

How many were in the audience

(__, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)

50-60.
Is that a lot?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

How many didn't you know?

(__, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

50-60 is a lot. My first gig only had about 30 people
Try small. Try like, a table of friends. Whenever I get a new stand up idea, I usually go through it with friends or I do a truncated version on YouTube to seek response, and *then* I put it in my act.
(__, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:29, archived)

Right.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:38, archived)

About 40 of them.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

I hate public speaking, so I know how you feel,
it was bad enough when I had to give talks at Uni in front of 5 or 6 people.

But this is why I don't attempt to do stand up comedy!
Maybe I will do one day, though. Sometimes I imagine myself doing it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:30, archived)

8. Wear a big spinning hat

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)

9. Finish on a song

( Druid, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)

This, actually

(__, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

10. set off some fireworks

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:34, archived)

Thanks for that!
Oddly enough the guy who signed me up suggested I do more. And I was bloody nervous. Perhaps a dose of valium before I go on stage would be a good idea.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

Another tip..
You seem to be into the "story telling" comedy. If you do, there is nothing wrong with exaggerating things for comedy effect. Rhod Gilbert's stand up about luggage (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGAD1uTR1SY) is only about 15% true. Make things funny, and they become funny
(__, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:26, archived)

Bloody hell...
Good advice there.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:29, archived)

^all these
also don't get drunk before.

Also stuff like this helps alot.
www.laughinghorsecomedy.co.uk/comedycourses/twodaycourse.htm Doesn't teach you how to be funny, just polishes and gives you tips.

But sometimes, some people aren't that funny. Not everyone (in fact hardly anyone) can do stand up comedy. Otherwise everyone would be doing it.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)

Ooh!
I'll have a closer look at that.

/Edit

Edinburgh? Interesting! I was planning on buggering off up there for a few days.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:25, archived)

Honestly?
Confidence was good.
Delivery, not bad but needs work.
Content was crap. You need some good material to work with.
And at least you had the guts to do it.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

Thanks for that!
Noted.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:33, archived)

Some content could've been ok
like the "that could've been my bike" gag, but the delivery went completely wrong. Mainly due to the flow being interupted talking to the cameraman.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)

Ah yes, Mr Nick Kinkead.
Bastard said he wouldn't film me. And then he did.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:36, archived)

That made Mrs Eddache cry.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

fucking labour cunts

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)

Londoners are a panicky lot
It's not a good weekend in Rotherham unless a bus blows up
( Theoban What of it, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)

Aye
And it isn't terrorism, it's urban regeneration.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)

I'm still not keen on them trying to push this ID card bollocks through. I ain't fucking getting one.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

it looks like they're trying to sneak some business contracts through now
so that the next government won't legally be able to pull out of it, which is thoroughly democratic of them.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)

It's bollocks.
Fucking wobbly jowled Scottish cunt.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:19, archived)

^OMG RACISM

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:19, archived)

I don't think it's being done purely to spite another
government. If you had a business, you wouldn't invest in staff and equipment to make & maintain the system if there was a chance the next government would scrap it, would you?
( Druid, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:19, archived)

yeah but it's the government that's trying to tie it up,
of course I don't blame the companies so much for going for the business deal.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:21, archived)

Of course they are, because no business in its right mind would invest otherwise.

( Druid, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:31, archived)

Well, quite.
It's a bit of an awkward state of affairs, though.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:32, archived)

I'm getting one just so I can be different.
They're COOL.
( Druid, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

I'm conflicted on ID cards
On one hand, I don't like the idea of being forced to carry something around with me just so I can prove who I am to people

But on the other hand I see the Scandinavian countries and it makes hopping between nations quite easy. They often don't even have passports.

I don't know.
( Theoban What of it, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:18, archived)

I don't have a problem with carrying a card, but I do have a problem
with how secure my information is, and that I have to pay to carry one.
( Druid, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)

I can see some of the benefits,
but the way it's being set up seems to be way over the top, and far too vulnerable.
The fact that the maximum penalty for not informing them of a change of address is £2000 makes me wonder exactly who this is really supposed to benefit.
If it was entirely voluntary, if it wasn't tied to a centralised database containing everything about you, if they didn't demand to know so much frankly irrelevant crap (including keeping a permanent record of every time you ever use the card for anything), I might have been tempted to get one because I could use some sort of ID. But this thing? No way.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:25, archived)

These are excellent points
I should read up on this more. I'm woefully ill-educated on the matter
( Theoban What of it, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:27, archived)

Are Londoners the new scousers?
Some people died. What's wrong with having a nice quiet memorial?
( Druid, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)

Blame Thatcher

(thediscokingpin, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)