I'm going for a big poo
What do you do while on the bog?

Me? I read your replies.
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:25, archived)

wank

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:25, archived)

I have a shit

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:26, archived)

boring sod.
Where's the fun in that? You could be missing out on 20 minutes per session (depending on diet) of utter funtimes. Not with the poo, but that private time when you can sneak out of work for 20 minutes and not get into trouble.
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:29, archived)

On the rare occasions I have a shit at work I content myself that I am earning money with my kecks off

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:33, archived)

It's a start.
Try taking some old memos with you and blank out words to make the whole thing far ruder. Like a wordsearch in reverse.
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:37, archived)

Being 'not a cock'
I don't work in an environment where the word 'memo' is ever used
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:39, archived)

what are you suggesting?
that I'm a cock?

you could be onto something here.
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)

I have a big stack of magazines next to the loo
so I read a few pages.
( in vino veritas, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:26, archived)

any good ones?
I keep Wired and Edge for those moments I can't be bothered to use the lappy.
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:28, archived)

Good Food magazine mainly (lol internet fatty)
and those free magazines that come periodically from Amnesty and Liberty and people like that.
( in vino veritas, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:30, archived)

Ahhh
with the articles that are nice and short so you can finish them in one poo-sitting. Good good.
I must admit, the 'Bright Ideas' catalogues that come with the paper are always a good bog-read. Useless crap you never thought you'd want less. For twice the price you'd never pay! Incontinence pance?! The world's lightest shoe? Classically styled cd player that *still* plays your old 45's? And my favourite, 'Why pay for expensive sattelite tv whenyou can have this "dish" style TV antenna for only 22.99!'
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:36, archived)

I have a miniature copy of this
www.amazon.co.uk/Uncle-Johns-Biggest-Bathroom-Reader/dp/157145814X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247003132&sr=1-1

and it has a little metal plunger on a string to use as a bookmark.
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)

exactly like this
images.barnesandnoble.com/images/14290000/14294011.JPG
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:48, archived)

Is there a little plunger on the bookmark?
:)
( in vino veritas, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)

yes!

( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)

I'm buying this
apparently my friends don't like talking to me on msn while I'm pooing.
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)

it's awesome because it doesn't matter how long it takes to poo you read a few bits or you read a lot
and you don't have to remember what you where you left off
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)

I like this idea a lot.
Creditcard ahoy!
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 23:04, archived)

oh and a copy of the national geographic too

( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)

I pretend I'm laying an egg.

( Elvis of Nazareth This isn't a sig, it's a fucking liberty., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:28, archived)

this made me laugh in the middle of singing out loud.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:28, archived)

(')< BWARK

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:28, archived)

brown eggs?
yum yum. Brown egg omlette anyone? I'm cooking up some sweetcorn and cheese if anyone's interested?
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:31, archived)

I read books
I have LOTS of books there. We sometimes lose guests for hours as they get distracted.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:30, archived)

Screwfix Direct catalogue
or Viz generally
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:31, archived)

I have a poo
I can't sit for hours on the loo, it's dull and uncomfortable. And smells of the poo you just did.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:31, archived)

Nowt but poo
when I used to have a dull job tho I'd print out sudoku's & sit in the bog doing them.
( broadsword, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:31, archived)

Read whatever book is in there at the time of shitting.
Also, I'd like to thank mongy for recommending The Chaser's War On Everything. It's right good.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:35, archived)

handstands

( scott,, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)

Tried this once.
It was messy. Never again.
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:41, archived)

Think.
I sometimes /talk or plan my day.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:40, archived)

Tell myself I'm definitely going to clean the bathroom
then I go and do something more interesting instead.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:42, archived)

I'm a girl, I don't poo.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:45, archived)

you do.
it just comes out pink and smells like perfume.
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)

I bet the newspapers have the headline of
"Shamourn"
( magnum, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)

try and catch your shit
and eat it?
(dildogaggins is trying to lick ones elbow!, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 23:03, archived)