Hello, miseries
I'm in a Wetherspoons in Chester, prior to the races. I'm wearing CUFFLINKS and everything. I'm now finishing the 2nd beer and on the hunt for steak. How are you lot? I do hope all is well and that Friz didn't die. Also, food etc.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)

oh god,
The chester mutton dressed as lamb day.
( MrA, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:52, archived)

Be fair.
It's not quite like the Aintree ladies day.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)

Always bet on black.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:52, archived)

I thought it was the greys that always win?

( TY&GN, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:53, archived)

I'm wonderful thankyou

( moohalaa, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:52, archived)

My new hammer drill cuts through concrete like butter
POWER TOOLS! You lot should be ashamed.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 11:55, archived)

For 3 years now I have asked for a really good cordless drill for Christmas and no-one is taking me seriously
How am I meant to make things?
( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:06, archived)

You're a woman
stay away from that stuff. It's better in the long run.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:09, archived)

We got a really good one from B&Q for £30
It's served us well. Lots of drilling.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:10, archived)

I asked for and got one of those when I left my last job.
They also got me a bench to go with it. I was really pleased they listened to me. I had the obligatory bunch of flowers too though.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:11, archived)

I hope you drilled them

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:15, archived)

No, I dumped the flowers.
I hadn't asked for them.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:30, archived)

I gave away an electric plane the other day
I made some doors and sliced my knuckle off. Good times
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:10, archived)

Eugh
Owie :(
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

I sliced lines into my fingers with a grinder when I was trying to re-lay a floor quickly.
I was moving house and didn't notice till the day before when I moved a sofa that one of the kids had spilt a drink underneath it and it had lifted the wooden floor. I was desperately trying to cut the wood down to size and stick it back down and move out at the same time. I didn't notice till later what a mess I'd made of my fingers.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:28, archived)

I have an electric can opener, does this count?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

Only if you're capable of injuring yourself with it

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:29, archived)

Well, if you stick your finger in it...

(Nalr I'll get the coals, you bring the burgers., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:32, archived)

there are definitely no baked beans inside my elbows

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:34, archived)

i just ate an egg butty
with ketchup. it was fucking nomilicious.

time for the beach in the next hour or so methinks
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:00, archived)

I've got the hangover from hell
plus points: I'm alive
negative points: I genuinely have no idea what I got up to last night
( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:04, archived)

I am expecting to be exactly like this tomorrow
Except I am going out with the people whom I volunteer for, and I am vice chair or their board of directors this could all end very badley.
( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:07, archived)

Same here.
My friend is have the Irish leg of her wedding tonight. I expect to be fuckered.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:13, archived)

I've got a nasty feeling my bruising is from trying to break into my apartment complex last night
what I'm unsure of is why I was trying to break in, my keys are right in front of me
( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:14, archived)

oh god.
first bedlol for the night here in Aus!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:21, archived)

I like to give young ladies bedlols

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:22, archived)

etc.

( Mrs Sp@m, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:05, archived)

Very good thanks, after a mini-bash last night.
Now I have bacon, egg, sausages etc etc so I am just about ready to face the day.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:09, archived)

Cool, who was at the mini bash?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:12, archived)

It was basically everybody on earth apart from you.
You spoil everything.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:18, archived)

I heard that Esme Wesme caused cancer by stirring her potatoes the wrong way
could just be a rumour of course
( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:20, archived)

She whispered nasty things to Osama Bin Laden when he was at school and caused all Islamist terrorism.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:22, archived)

I heard she caused AIDS just by surreptitiously breaking wind in a school assembly

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:23, archived)

She was the snake in the garden of eden.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:24, archived)

Now I'm aroused damnit.

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:25, archived)

:(((

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:23, archived)

Oh, great, I'm at work.
BORED.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:21, archived)

And isn't Chester a nice place.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:34, archived)

lol
suks 2 b u
lol
( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:36, archived)

I NO!

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:39, archived)

*bums*

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:41, archived)

Still hungover
And alone. The others are being lazy and aren't up yet.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:23, archived)

*bums*

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:33, archived)

Ooh

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:41, archived)

haha, look at your fucking face and your pube beard and your fucking hair you fat spastic hahahaha

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:48, archived)

Hello gilgy wilgy plopsy poo

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:49, archived)

hello gorgeous
I might have some food in a minute!
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:51, archived)

OMG OMG OMG
Keep us informed on what you eat!
( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:52, archived)

i cant wait!

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:53, archived)

alright rosalicious

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:54, archived)

alright broadsword

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:56, archived)

I'm totally sitting around in my pants contemplating wine for breakfast right now

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:57, archived)

same here but for lunch
shall we?
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 12:59, archived)

I will if you will

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 13:01, archived)

yes lets!

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 13:01, archived)

Cheers!

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2009, 13:06, archived)