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you know when you were at school, and you called someone a cock
and they'd say 'i've got one but i'm not one'

well, i just thought of a brilliant reply

what you say is, 'well you're a cunt' and they say 'i've got one but i'm not one'

and then you say 'haha, you've got a cunt! you're a girl!'

and you point at them and laugh and call them a sissy girly fanny tart.

now you can all jump in your time machines and unleash my amazing retort!
(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:45, archived)
Lithium tablet.
That's what you forgot this morning.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:46, archived)
What if they ARE a girl?

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:47, archived)
Haha! You're being bullied by a girl!

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:48, archived)
I am?
Wow, I usually have to pay extra for that.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:50, archived)
then they have already hoisted themselves
just go back and have a fondle to check
(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:48, archived)
Are you saying he was bullied by girls?
Bullied by girls who made him cry? Bullied by girls who made him cry and he is still carrying the scars from that bullying? Is that what you're saying? That schoolgirls made him cry?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:48, archived)
i think that is the only reasonable conclusion

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:49, archived)
I might be.
Or I might be, you know, asking for advice like.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:52, archived)
Summon the Honda Accord of Justice!

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:54, archived)
You're interrupting a whimsical discussion about folk music with this shit?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:47, archived)
no, you are

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:49, archived)
BADGE BADGE
"This morning BBC Breakfast featured a "debate" on homeopathy that really does fall far short of the quality I expect of the BBC. It was obvious that the Daily Telegraph journalist who was positioned against the homeopathy evangelist did not have much knowledge of the subject matter at all, and allowed many of the unsubstantiated claims that were made were allowed to get past without rebuttal.

Given that homeopathy is often pitched as a replacement for conventional medicines, surely it would have been far more appropriate for someone qualified in medicine to appear and discuss the issue? As it was, I feel the lack of an appropriate rebuttal to the homeopath's claims meant the whole feature came off very pro-homeopathy indeed, and may convince uninformed viewers to risk their wellbeing on completely unproven alternative therapies that have been incorrectly portrayed as scientifically valid."

I'm unreasonably angry about this, I must be getting old and middle class.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:00, archived)
Here. Have some of this diluted water.
It'll make you feel better.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:02, archived)
Have you hit it with a stick?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:03, archived)
I think there's a market for bottled violence.
It could be the alcohol-free equivalent to Stella.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:06, archived)
'and a bottle of Fucking Good Shoeing for John the estate agent please Kev.'

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:09, archived)
There's a name for alternative medicine that works.
It's 'medicine'.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:02, archived)
I might wander over to the Badscience forums and raise a strop about this.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:03, archived)
Do it.
DO IT.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:07, archived)
Someone's beaten me to it, there's a fair amount of people saying 'I have complained about this'.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:08, archived)
you have been uniformly rubbish of late
sort it out, please
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:48, archived)
certainly not!

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:49, archived)
why's that?
is it fun being shit?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:52, archived)
fucking awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:53, archived)
fair enough then, i guess

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:00, archived)
The winter evenings must just fly by at Chez Mortal VampireBat.

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:50, archived)
he's the ultimate dinner party guest
hello chief, do you want me to post uncharted back to you?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:52, archived)
*intercepts post*
*+1 free game*
*replaces with demo of Sonic Unleashed*
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:01, archived)
i nearly bought that for a tenner
i like the look of the side scrolly levels

pretty excited about project needlemouse
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:03, archived)
This.
It's going to make or brake my faith in Sega.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:09, archived)
Gah, I'm running on empty this morning
Stupid blood test :(
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:58, archived)
how much did they take?!
did they drain all of your blood and replace it with tizer?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:00, archived)
I wasn't allowed anything to eat or drink after 9pm last night
Between going to the gym and visiting friends I kind of forgot to have dinner :S

I remember when they brought out that tizer cold stuff and it tasted worse than normal tizer, how is that possible?
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:02, archived)
i don't think i've had tizer in many years
and it was probably the same scam as described in futurama with the new slurm/slurm classic thing
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:05, archived)
Are you saying Tizer comes from the arse end of giant worms?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:07, archived)
It certainly looks that way

(I helped save b3ta! CriticalPoint Critical, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:09, archived)
Maybe it's the water of life?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:12, archived)
yes i am
and wasps make mustard
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 9:15, archived)