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Cat litter is a good replacement for rock salt they said....
they forgot to mention what a mess it makes when you walk it throuh the house!!
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:41, archived)
Perhaps they were relying on you not being a moron.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:42, archived)
surely not.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:43, archived)
surely a person with THAT username and sig combination must be a veritable genius!

(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:50, archived)
something you will
never aspire to thankfully
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:51, archived)
DOUBLE ZING
you hero!
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:52, archived)
Oh man, this guy's a fucking genius.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:53, archived)
he's all over us
like
a
cancer.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:54, archived)
He must despair at having to hang around with us imbeciles on here.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:56, archived)
i totally
think it's probably
mongy or someone.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:57, archived)
No way.
mongy is never smart enough to be this guy.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:59, archived)
I'm clearly outgunned here...
maybe I should just fuck off back to qotw?!
(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:54, archived)
We're all outgunned.
This guy is like Terminator armed with a pair of .44 magnums and John Holmes's schlong.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:05, archived)
to be a genius?
to be like you?
to be fit for purpose?
all of the above?

it's not funny when I have to help you out, sugarplum
(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:53, archived)
originator of near the top?
you aspire to grasp the bottom and fail miserably my sugar dumpling x
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:12, archived)
It's a non stop schooling session here.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:17, archived)
Awww man.
It's a deafening barrage of cutting wit and heart-stopping put downs.

We're in the presence of an intellectual GIANT here. A true Internet Warrior. We are outgunned and outclassed. Retreat, my poor soldiers! Retreat!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:18, archived)
I posted a comment
i didnt deserve to be treated badly so is it surprising that i retaliate?
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:25, archived)
Oh god.
Now it's crying.

Somebody show it the fucking door before it starts telling us about its success with the ladies.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:32, archived)
are you about 12
or younger, or is that the age of the kids you like to follow?
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:34, archived)
Keep going.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:35, archived)
I surrender!
Don't humiliate me anymore! You're clearly more of a man than I could ever be. I promise never to show my face on the interwebs again.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:36, archived)
You should post here more often.
These cunts need to be told.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:39, archived)
F1T for MOD!

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:42, archived)
no but they warned me
you would be
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:50, archived)
ZING!

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:50, archived)
I have rarely been so categorically pwned on the internet.
I am thoroughly abashed and will retire from the battlefield with my metaphorical tail between my actual legs.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:02, archived)
Oh man.
[X] Told
[  ] Not Told.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:04, archived)
I'm ticking 'Told' so hard that I've pushed my biro through my laptop screen.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:20, archived)
you should do stand up

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:43, archived)
and...

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:43, archived)
do walk away from the computer.
lolololol
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:43, archived)
then Kill yourself

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:43, archived)
after you

(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:50, archived)
Hang on, you're not 'F1T The Comeback King' are you?

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:51, archived)
you must be
the queen then ;-)
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:53, archived)
Can I get a Z

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:54, archived)
Can I get a I

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:54, archived)
You always have to have the last word, don't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:54, archived)
:(

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:55, archived)
Can I get a N

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:55, archived)
COMBO BREAKER

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:55, archived)
Can I get a G

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:55, archived)
What do you get?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:55, archived)
ZIYou always have to have the last word, don't you?NCOMBO BREAKERG

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:56, archived)
We should marry.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:57, archived)
PsychoChomp can't come to the wedding.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:57, archived)
'Course. I'll have a 'No Thin Lips' rule

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:58, archived)
Man I wish I had a great comeback to this.
F1T Where are you when I need you the most?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:01, archived)
It'd be something like
"You're the only no thin lips rule around here"
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:06, archived)
Or "your mums pussy lips are thin"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 19:01, archived)
Our babies would be GORGEOUS

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:57, archived)
I deleted the spaces, I don't know why.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:58, archived)
ZIYou always have to have the last word, don't you?NCOMBO BREAKERG

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:56, archived)
*high tens*
even though my keyboard spazzed and i had to edit it quick :)
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:57, archived)
"ZIYoualwayshavetohavethelastword,don't you?NCOMBO BREAKERG"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:57, archived)
This one's not on the popular page you bunch of cunts.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 19:34, archived)
Who are you by the way,
you've been a member for 5 years and I've only noticed you in the last week.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:52, archived)
i hibernate
for long periods
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:13, archived)
and is it surprising
that i dont post much as when you do you get treated like a cunt
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:27, archived)
Awwww did the big scary meanies on a website upset you?

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:28, archived)
not really i find it quite sad
when some people feel the need to be brave on the internet when in reality they are sad pathetic individuals
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:31, archived)
Yeah, you are totally giving these bullies what for.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:34, archived)
I've decided to turn my whole life around.
And I'd like to thank F1T for making me see the error of my ways.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:44, archived)
stick at what you know best
being a cunt
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 19:18, archived)
Awww.
I thought you didn't love me any more.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 19:25, archived)
i am warming to you
let me put another log on :P
(Dazzer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 20:26, archived)
piston broke?

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:44, archived)
i really need to get round to transcribing his routine
so that i can do it at a stand up gig.
this is genuine by the way.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:47, archived)
I don't think anybody has managed to listen to the whole thing.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:49, archived)
I have...
I have...
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:50, archived)
...mostly

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:51, archived)
I was squirting in my seat all the way though. I may write it all out tonight.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:55, archived)
if you do i absolutely promise to read it out on stage,
word for word.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:56, archived)
This, is a challenge.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:59, archived)
also an opportunity for people
to meet ME!
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:01, archived)
CATG!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:02, archived)
does that still even happen?
if not i'd have to find an open mic night thing somewhere. i think this could work. i'll get doveston to play some funky bongo beats in the background for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:04, archived)
i have a lot.
i managed to write out a few lines and everything.
i truly reckon i could make it funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:51, archived)
Say it all backwards with a Tiny Tim soundtrack

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:54, archived)
if anyone wants to make a script of it,
i will willingly come to london and perform it at the george.
deal.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:55, archived)
I reckon I'd be quite good at stand up
at times at least...
when i have a rant about stuff I normally have people laughing...

although I don't think quick enough to handle hecklers...

saying that, I suppose it's all preparation
(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:51, archived)
i get people laughing whenever i wants to.
that don't mean i'd be no good at standup innit.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:52, archived)
i once spent ten minutes talking about how my mother punched a beagle,
and a crowd of laughing people gathered.
true story.
maybe i could do stand up! about my mum punching a beagle.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:53, archived)
cat owners deserve nothing but pain and death

(Dr. Geoff Honkington woof, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:43, archived)
I can walk on ice and not fall over because I don't have Polio.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:44, archived)
Ahaha.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:45, archived)
And what's the deal with airline food?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:45, archived)
Bark the Beagle, nevermore.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:46, archived)
oh boy

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:48, archived)
shit i was about to set about re writing that
but forgot just how long it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:49, archived)
Yeah that's why I only did 3 verses.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:52, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:53, archived)
I'd do more but I'm not going to.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:55, archived)
oh go on.

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:57, archived)
I can't help but feel it'd be a massive waste of time.
It took me about 10 minutes to do 3 verses and there are 18. Is it really possible to write 18 verses about a Beagle being punched in the face by your mother?
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:59, archived)
I am 100% certain that it is possible to write 18 verses about a Beagle being punched in the face by my mother.

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:10, archived)