a wise old owl sat in an oak.
the more he heard, the less he spoke.
the less he spoke, the more he heard.
blah blah blah blah owls can't talk.
( sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

Woodpeckers can tho
Professor Yaffle FTW.
( RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)

a woodpecker made of wood is a terrible thing.

( sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:40, archived)

Neh neh neh!

( RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:49, archived)

There once was a saucy minx called Binky,
Who got cum in here eye and made her blinky,
So she got a pair of rayburns, exclaimed "It no longer burns !"
And was free to suck on plenty of dinkies
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:20, archived)

Yeah, okay.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:20, archived)

thought so.

( sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

I'm going for a cigarette.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:24, archived)

as in attacking?

( sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:35, archived)

I won.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)

HORROR AND VIOLENCE UNSUITABLE FOR A YOUNG AUDIENCE
Old Brown carried Nutkin into his house, and held him up by the tail, intending to skin him; but Nutkin pulled so very hard that his tail broke in two, and he dashed up the staircase and escaped out of the attic window.
And to this day, if you meet Nutkin up a tree and ask him a riddle, he will throw sticks at you, and stamp his feet and scold, and shout— "Cuck-cuck-cuck-cur-r-r-cuck-k-k!"
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)

mr macgregor would put him in a PIE

( sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:36, archived)

An aardvark only feasts on ants
but this Aardvark will eat your pants.
A g-string, boxers, pair of briefs,
The stretchy waistbands floss my teeth.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

bloomers large and thongs aplenty,
aardvark gobbles more than twenty
pairs a day, it's told;
it's how he's lived to be so old.
( sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

i'm not saying you're OLD, it just rhymes.

( sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

Owl be the judge of that.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

There were three owls on Raglan Row,
Two on top and one below,
The Owl Triangle.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:26, archived)

"I saw the best minds of my generation, flying around at night, eating mice..."
From Owl, by Allen Ginsberg.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:29, archived)

What kind of Owl can an Amish village make in a day?
A Barn Owl.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:29, archived)

What kind of Owl can devastate the marine biology of the Gulf of Mexico?
An Owl Spill.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:30, archived)

What is Tom Cruise's favourite nocturnal bird?
Owl Ron Hubbard.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:31, archived)

i'm not saying these jokes are clawful (awful), it's just the way you talon (tell them)

( sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:37, archived)

What kind of owl can help you with the washing up?
Teat owl (tea towel)
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:43, archived)

which late 70s sitcom featured owls with long term illnesses in a sanctuary and was a bit racist? Owlnly when I laugh
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:02, archived)

and they don't even have proper ears.
what a rubbish rhyme
( sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

I'm only a poor little sparrow
No colourful feathers have I
I can’t even sing
When I’m nesting in spring
The turnips don’t grow very high
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)

Swallow, swallow, what a beautiful word
no, not the gulp. I mean the bird
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:25, archived)

Thanks Baldmonkey

( Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:34, archived)

good contribution to a great thread.

( sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:35, archived)

Cheers Baldbinky :P

( Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:49, archived)

all the owls round the lake a noisy fuckers, hooty cunts

( mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:42, archived)

The owls round the lake are noisy
I don't get a moment's peace
I am not saying they should be snoozy
But it's to-whit this and to-woo that without cease
The owls round the lake are hooty cunts
They have made me start wishing
That while they are having their nocturnal fun
They would give me some quiet for my fishing
( vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:08, archived)