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Last night I made Marmite & cheese & beans on toast for wifey
and cut the toast into a big heart shape.

When did you last make someone else feel nauseous?
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:10, archived)
Just now.
Talking about Andy writhing about in his own filth tugging away at his withered nub.
You don't know Andy. He's a fat prick.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:12, archived)
Thinking about it now, every Andy I've ever met is either an idiot, a prick or both

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:29, archived)
My brother is the exception to this observation.

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:30, archived)
It is possible that I've met your brother
But if I haven't then my rule still stands
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:32, archived)
For a long time this was true of all Pauls I'd met.
Not anymore. There's one in my office I like. And some on here.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:32, archived)
My sister named her son Adam because she's never met a bad one

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:33, archived)
She doesn't post on here, then.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)
Nah, it's not her sort of thing
She's flaky, self-obssessed, flighty..

hang on....
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:37, archived)
there is an andy here who always calls me love, sweetheart, or darling.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)
o.O

(I helped save b3ta! the secret thingy .. Thanks for that, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
once i picked up my male colleague's phone and before realising it was me he was all "mate, pal" and so forth.
IT MUST JUST BE ME*


*girls
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)
I gave my students their first set of shuttle-runs last week
At the end some were foetally-positioned and some were threatening to blow chunks.

It satisfied me muchly.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)
do you teach Geography too?

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)
I do not.
I'm rubbish at it.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:15, archived)
This is how geography works, from a londoner.
You've got south of the thames, north of the thames and outside the M25.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:16, archived)
I went to london the weekend before last.
I have to say, I didn't really like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:18, archived)
Hell yeah
Above Thames - North
Below Thames - South

I grew up in Hastings: Southener
I live in Birmingham: Scottish
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:19, archived)
That's slightly simpler than Dublin Geography, which has Northside, Southside, Gangland and Bog.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:24, archived)

specatacles, testicles, wallet, watch
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:25, archived)
the father, the son and into the hole he goes

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:28, archived)
tinker, tailor, solider, plumber
[insert non-existing link to Tim Nice But Dim bookshop sketch on youtube here, the one where he's trying to buy a copy of the Yellow Pages. "Bloody good read!"]
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:41, archived)
Oh boy, food thread.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)
Hello, Jack Action.
I hope you are well today.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:14, archived)
Morning, baldmonkey. I am well, thank you.
How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)
I am tired.
and excited about potentially moving house soon. Thank you.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:28, archived)

are they giving you a full change of identity too this time or are you having to make your own arrangements again?
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:30, archived)
Nothing was proven.
No further comment.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)
Nothing ever is proven, only disproven
except that I'm a VERY attractive creature
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:45, archived)
except of course when you consider proven to mean tested and not guaranteed.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:57, archived)
Or you misread it as PR oven
and assume it's some sort of "think tank" for people in public relations.
In which case, some things are PR oven. PR ovens, for example.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:00, archived)
this is what I meant

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:07, archived)
Hello, Jack Action.
I hope you are well today, more than baldmonkey.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:15, archived)
Good morning, Pinckas Ben Nochkan. I am indeed well, thank you. All the more well for you asking me.
And yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:18, archived)
I am doing good thanks, I had my treatment at the hospital yesterday which means I'm working from home today.
I feel so much better after having it.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)
Hello, Gonzo.
I hope that you are well. But not as well as Jack Action.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:29, archived)
I hope you're more well than gonz since he's posted and run.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)
Gonzo is a good bloke.
But, yeah, I hope I'm better than him too. That'll teach him.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:42, archived)
Sorry, I went to buy some food from the cafe, I won't bore you with the details, but I had 87 chips, 128 baked beens, 1 saussage and 5 squerts of salad cream.
It cost 拢2.50, of which my change was a five pound note, two pound coins, two twentys and a ten. It took 4 minutes approxmantly to make and is about 20 yards from my house.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)
£2.50 for sausage chips and beans? That's not bad

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:50, archived)
I'm very pleased with the value.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:06, archived)
I wish I had sausage chips and beans for £2.50.
Unforunately I don't.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:52, archived)
Still, you have a wife and kids who love you very much.... swings'n'round-a-bouts.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:06, archived)
I might have to go rethink my life.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)

life dinner
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)
oh man did you salt pepper and vinegar it? how many shakes?

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:58, archived)
No salt, so there was no shaking of the salt mill. There also wasn't any pepper, which also means there wasn't any shaking of a pepper mill.
I decided to not put vinegar on it on account of the salad cream, so there wasn't any vinegar shaking.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:07, archived)
fat chips or thin chips?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)
I hope they are sort of middle sized chips.
Or fat ones.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:23, archived)
Thin, americans would call them 'fries'.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:57, archived)
food is good
your name reminds me of this guy, not specifically sure why but it always has... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Jack Is it a good likeness?
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)
Spot on.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:19, archived)
I cut off a mole and gave it to a friend

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:19, archived)
I assume you are referring to severing communication and funding channels to a spy?

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:32, archived)
you do?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:32, archived)
no i don't
it's fairly obvious what you're referring to, TBH.

Just trying to stimulate conversation, innit?
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:38, archived)
*gibbers*
the weather is horrid today...dark clouds and too warm...MUGGY!!! MUGGY!!MUGGY!!! MUGGY!!MUGGY!!! MUGGY!!MUGGY!!! MUGGY!!MUGGY!!! MUGGY!!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:42, archived)
looks like rain on friday
bit fucked up when I *hope* it rains so I don't have to go to watch the cricket with the tickets i've already paid for...
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:43, archived)
Nah, I love the rain
I don't do too well in the heat, so I prefer it cold and damp. So to speak.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:44, archived)
I refuse to dislike heat
I'd rather a nice spring day and all that, but I'd rather X a Y than complain about it being too hot. At least, if I'm outside and it's light. Not applicable to shitty air con in office blocks.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J08goEJbkqA&feature=related
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:38, archived)

this is beyond my vomit and not relevant to my intestines
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:20, archived)
this deserves attention
*ATTENTIONS*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:43, archived)
I feel like marching on the spot in an agressive manner.
I won't because that would be silly. But I want to.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:47, archived)
Perhaps
this will help
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 10:49, archived)

I think this will help too
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJKythlXAIY
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:08, archived)
All the time.

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:08, archived)
alright blue star

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:11, archived)
Alright gorgeous?
How's the seaside?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:13, archived)
Windy and grey. I've just been looking at holidays for a customer to Disneyland and it's making me want to go back.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)
I love the seaside
especially when it's cold and grey. We went to Scarborough in the snow once. It was brilliant.

Have you been to Disneyland? You haven't mentioned it much....
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:19, archived)
It's been quite warm around here lately. Especially in the evenings.
I have indeed. I stayed at the Newport Bay Hotel and it was free.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)
When I was ill a few years ago and I sneezed and then I had a sort of giant snot bubble that I could deflate and inflate by breathing through my nose.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:27, archived)
Oh and incase anyone wants to know what Adam Fielding's been up to in the last 24 hours, here's a quick run down.
Adam Fielding
the worlds all about injunctions at the moment lmao x
22 hours ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Adam Fielding
bit of jezza in the afternoon go on thn x
22 hours ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Adam Fielding
can't beat sitting in the garden catchn sum sun- bliss x
19 hours ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Adam Fielding
wishes he had money to be in a beer garden lmao x
19 hours ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Adam Fielding
poor janine on good old eastenders x
15 hours ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Adam Fielding
family guy brilliant x
14 hours ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Adam Fielding
didn't realise its that time- pillow is calling night all x
10 hours ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Adam Fielding
wow how early am I up bk to bed me thinks x
4 hours ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Adam Fielding
is deciding to go a day at not updating hes status, o whoops lol x
21 minutes ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:29, archived)
Ta.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:31, archived)
Who the fuck is that prick?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:31, archived)
and he laughs his arse off too often and at things that aren't funny

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 馃帺馃帺, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:33, archived)
Adam Fielding sounds like a cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)
lol x

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)
It's my new catchphrase for when I accidentally say something utterly mundane that no-one gives a shit about.
lol x
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)
Adam Fielding
where's the sun gone from yesterday boooo x
3 minutes ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

Henry Fielding
writer's block, fucksocks :((( x
240 years ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Henry Fielding
just going down to covent garden me thinks x
240 years ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Henry Fielding
think I'll call him something Jones x
240 years ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路

Henry Fielding
I've got it, Tom! Tom Jones, LOL x
240 years ago via BlackBerry 路 Like 路
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)