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Theoban's got his interview now.
Have you ever massively screwed up a job interview?
Share your tales of stupidity.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:50, archived)
Not even at the interview stage
When I went for a job at Tesco as a teenager something mental came over me and when Tesco called me to offer me an interview, I denied being me... WTF??? Still, got the job after I changed my mind and decided I was me after all.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:51, archived)
Fucking hell.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:52, archived)
Near the Top
Any nerds online who can help with a router problem?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)
I can try
Are we talking TCP/IP or MDF/Oak?
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)
Try turning it off and back on again

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)
Funny you should mention that.
When I turn it off then back on, for the first min or so after reconnecting it goes at it ususal, fast speed.

Then after say 1-2 mins it slows right down to a snails pace. I've checked my ping and it is showing in seconds...

Even refreshing b3ta means a long wait.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)
do a wank up dee webs

(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:15, archived)
you've checked your ping?
What on earth does that mean? what are you pinging??

any other devices on your network that are starting up after the router is back online?
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:21, archived)
I've checked my ping against standard websites that I normally go on
and servers that I play games on.
What else would I check my ping against?

There are other computers that connect to the network, mine is the only one which connects wirelessly, however, I have the same problem even when I plug mine in.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:24, archived)
you could be pinging your router, or google
is the router ping latency OK?

I would personally fire up wireshark and see what traffic is going in and out of your machine if you think that that's the only device experiencing any problems.

Alternatively, install Linux.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)
I just updated the firmware on the router.
It seems to be ok. Fingers Crossed.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:40, archived)
Its going slow again :(

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:02, archived)
you do realise that these days, restarting your router more than absolutely necessary causes your provider to reduce your speed
as they think that maybe your line is faulty and can't cope?
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:12, archived)
None of the other computers on the network are experiencing any speed reduction.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)
Haz u chekd da IPeas?

(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)
What do you think you could bring to the company?
*blank look*
*pukes*
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:53, archived)
EXCELLENT

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:54, archived)
I had a gander at that setup beat puke tother day, I thought some of it was hilarious.
for example
alexcomex.tumblr.com/day/2011/06/10

I also like the sound effect WAGH
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)
I performed an abortion whilst playing the banjo.
KFC frown on such antics.
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:54, archived)
what should you have been playing then?
Washboard?
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:54, archived)
SEXUALLY ACTIVE?

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:54, archived)
plu
gin

gl
a

de
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:57, archived)
i pissed on an orchestra

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:03, archived)
katy perry's follow up single was not as successful...or something..LOOKATMELOL
fuckthismoff
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:05, archived)

https://sites.google.com/site/ipissedonanorchestra/system/app/pages/sitemap/list
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:05, archived)

www.sites.google.com/site/ipissedonanorchestra/system/app/pages/sitemap/list
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=piss+up+a+trombone&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&biw=1052&bih=592&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi

(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)
"what kind of animal are you" and "what kind of drink would your friends buy you if they didn't have a chance to ask what you wanted"
a cat - lazy
dont know - completely indecisive and fails under pressure.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:54, archived)

however, interviewers who ask that kind of question are too immature to be making decisions about proper jobs, so it can't have been a proper job, and also massive coke-heads and spastics
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:56, archived)
still, i would rather have a job than no job, so ehhh

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:01, archived)

you're lucky you didn't get to the second round of interviews, that was a day-long group thing where you had to tell them what kind of biscuit you were and who would play you in a movie of your life and interact in a teamy kind of way with the other four hundred hopefuls, fuck that
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:03, archived)

Human, duh.
Got no friends, duh.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)
It wasn't my fault.
The jobcentre sent me for an interview at some courier near where I lived. They told me 3. I turn up at 2.55 and the bloke says 'you should've been here at 2', I tried to argue but by that point he didn't really care, he interviewed me but I knew I didn't have a chance.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:55, archived)
I'd say you were a raging ball of fury.
Even before you got there.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:58, archived)
^This.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)
not really, but I once tried to get a job in a mental health facility
the nurse took me to a room that was a cafeteria and activities room, the caf ladies sectioned off the part I was in, the door was locked and I sat there for about an hour before someone came in to my section with a group of girls and I scared the piss out of them, apparently the doctor thought I'd left.
They took me to my interview. I didn't get the job.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:58, archived)
I once didn't wear a tie because I was used to "smart casual" sales jobs.
The suits all round told me I was wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)
I made exactly the opposite mistake at my last interview.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:01, archived)
I always have the awkward bit before an interview
because i don't have a car, and go (went) everywhere on the motorbike of changing out of my leathers in to something respectable in a corner of the car park, because wearing nice clothes under the leathers just makes them creased and i look like a tramp.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:04, archived)
Have you tried not looking like a tramp?

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:05, archived)
you seen how much razors and soap cost?
fuck that. I'll spend mine on booze.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)
Yeah, but the ranting and furtive masturbation doesn't go down well at an interview.
Nor does trying to harrass the interviewer into buying last week's Big Issue off you.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)
I had 2 interviews
for 2 different restaurant chains. I did my research, and knew the parent companies and the names of directors and all the history. Went to the first interview and spent 10 minutes extolling the virtues of, and expressing my respect for the wrong one.
Didn't get that one.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:02, archived)
There was one job I applied for years ago where all three of the interviewers were such utter cunts that I'd decided halfway through the interview that I didn't want the job.
So I started to deliberately fuck up my chances, the crunch came when I was asked how I'd resolve a potential dispute, firstly with a junior colleague and then with a senior colleague. I answered "Same way for both. Intimidation and violence."
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)