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Hi.
Ask me questions about making donut shaped shits.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:43, archived)
Lo.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:43, archived)
Sorry man I moved the goalposts.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:44, archived)
Do you use any tools?

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:45, archived)
I sometimes use toilet paper.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:49, archived)
What kind of situation requires the use of such an item?

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:55, archived)
For when you get shit around your anus and stuff.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:58, archived)
I see.
And, how often does this happen, in your line of work?
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:03, archived)
do you think you could make one whilst squatting over a womens face?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:44, archived)
Oh definitely.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:47, archived)
So is it a hip movement thing?
Or do you shape them post-crimp, as it were?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:45, archived)
It's tought to describe.
Most people don't have much control sphincterally aside from opening and closing it. I've developed mine to do complex movements. It's basically the anus equivalent to our evolution of 'the precision grip.'
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:48, archived)
Wow, I'm very impressed and would very much like to see that one day
In the mean time, look at this tiny bastard
www.bbc.co.uk/nature/17028940
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:51, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/igotthis.gif
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:54, archived)
Oh, bravo

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:58, archived)
How do you get the jam in the centre?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:45, archived)
That's blood.



|¦:¬(|
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:49, archived)
Jesus dude that's just sick
I was enjoying them until now.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:56, archived)
have you ever given them a custard topping?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:47, archived)
I once gave myself a nutella enema but you could scarcely notice.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:50, archived)
Are Krispy Kreme aware that you are infringing on their patents?

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:49, archived)
Actually my patent is still pending.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:51, archived)
Do you use some sort of mould?

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:49, archived)
It's all in the sphincter.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:51, archived)
*Nods*
Then I for one congratulate you on your dedication in this matter mike.
*Hearty applause*
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:55, archived)
I thought that said donut shaped tits

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:53, archived)
I think mongy has a relevant link to donuts, tits and shit.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:54, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAiFfo3BOi8
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:16, archived)

♫♫ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ♫♫▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ♫♫ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ♫♫▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ♫♫ www.youtube.com/watch?v=hV45fy0dluA ♫♫ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ♫♫▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ♫♫ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ♫♫▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ♫♫
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:26, archived)
what the hell are you doing posting here? didn't you like my thread?
DO YOU HATE ME NOW
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:17, archived)
How do you feel about your donut shaped shit being the best thing in /links, ever
And still not making the 'popular links' thing on the front page?
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 10:58, archived)
That was quite the blow for donut shaped shit enthusiasts like myself.
I'm told it made the popular page with a whole 7 clicks but got removed.

A mod also marked it NSFW but then left the picture up. I thought that was a good bit of mod trolling.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:01, archived)
I did like that even though people shit 1-2 times a day they still all got upset with actually seeing one
You'd think they'd be impressed that the human bottom can create circles, but no.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:04, archived)
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and gaze upon shits with a new outlook.
I have a dream that one day people of all creeds and colours will be able to sit down at the table of the 'donut shaped shit appreciation society.'

I have a dream that one day, even forum user Legless will toast one of my shits. Cheers.

I have a dream today.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:09, archived)
Martin Poo-ther King

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:14, archived)
A leading figure in the Civil Shites Movement

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:15, archived)
Here's a little teaser for you Theoban.
I've held back a picture of some floating diarrhoea that, with a concerted effort from people on here, could quite easily make the front page.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:02, archived)
ima rollin with the trollin

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:07, archived)
When it goes down I'm going to say: "let's do this shit" and then try not to lol.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:10, archived)
do it faggott

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:20, archived)
I'm ready on the like this button
c'mon mike do it
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:22, archived)
I think we need more than 2 likes.
Patience guys.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:24, archived)
i can help.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:26, archived)
Yeah, I'm in

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:27, archived)
TabHunter is a cunt I think.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:30, archived)
on it

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:34, archived)
I knew I should have waited.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:36, archived)
/talk, officially full of shitcunts

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:36, archived)
srs

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:39, archived)
i clicked. are you banned yet?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:42, archived)
Likewise.
What about the popular page?
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:44, archived)
Turns out /talk can't even get a picture of a shit on the popular page.
That's how shit /talk is. Shit.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:51, archived)
We should just give up this /talk lark as a lost cause
Everyone back to /board
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:00, archived)
I'm going to /links.
It's like a new version of the old /talk where it's really easy to offend people and make myself laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:03, archived)
FRONT PAGE MIKE
This'll drive the ad traffic through the roof, you've saved b3ta
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:29, archived)
Woop woop woop.
I'd like to think rob would be proud but he might be very, very annoyed instead.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:31, archived)
I didn't realise that links got stuff automatically onto the front page nowadays.
That seems to be a terrible idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:35, archived)
They should do the same with /talk popular posts
We could have perma-baldmonkey on the front page, always telling us how he pissed on many orchestras
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:41, archived)
Or an incredibly funny one, depending on which way you look at things.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:42, archived)
/talk should own that slot all the time, for lols

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:43, archived)
We should just vote up incredibly boring wikipedia articles.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:48, archived)
Hey guys FP this
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:49, archived)
pfffft.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 13:07, archived)
i got a photo of the bowel filled up with splatterfart blood if you want.
You can't see much poo because there is so much blood, but I think it'll be alright.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:06, archived)
Was there much splashback?

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:03, archived)
Oddly enough, no.
I can only assume the shape of the faeces effectively nullified its own splashback.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:09, archived)
With the sort of strength your aperture has, I'd be surprised if it even broke before it hit the water
Resulting in a controlled and delicate landing
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:11, archived)
The correct term is "Neptunes kiss"

(wimbley is feeling hungover, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:17, archived)
What other food can you shape in shit?

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:12, archived)
sausages?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:15, archived)
I can sometimes make a water shape.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:16, archived)
Coco Pops?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:16, archived)
grapes
nesquik cereal
yule log
dumplings
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:17, archived)
Willow Pattern?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:21, archived)
raspberry pavlova

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:22, archived)
BLACK PUDDING

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:23, archived)
sliced

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:25, archived)
pheasant

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:27, archived)
Apple crumble.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:48, archived)
rice krispie cakes

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 11:54, archived)
Chocolate milkshake made in a blender with the lid left off.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:48, archived)
Worth saving probably
www.b3tards.com/u/0fcb2734f07769c5925f/mikeshit.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:37, archived)