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The word "prune" is an unexpected point of contention with our eldest
on account of its slightly differing usage in French and English. She's not quite old enough to understand that languages are not logical but she's plenty old enough to have extremely strong opinions on the matter.

</spare us your fucking life story>
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:05, archived)
How much French are toddlers taught these days?
I didn't know a word of it until secondary school.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:09, archived)
Except "oui"
but that was just funny, cos it sounds like "wee".
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:10, archived)
I don't think they're taught any.
But she's French.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:10, archived)
hang on what
your eldest, as in, your daughter is French? But you're not French, how does that work?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:11, archived)
She also has a mother.
We're very old fashioned.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:11, archived)
what sorcery is this

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:14, archived)
The sorcery of luuuuurve.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:16, archived)
And also fannies and spunk.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:16, archived)
what young kid knows about prunes, they are grim, cunt be trolling

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:22, archived)
I don't think she's ever had prunes.
She's had plums though. But she calls them prunes. On account of that french thing I might have mentioned.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:23, archived)
how many times, im not a bender

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:32, archived)
I have thishorrible image that one day my teenage daughter will come to me and my partner one afternoon while we're reading the papers
and say "mum, dad, I need to tell you something. I'm... French".

And we'll all hug each other and cry and I'll promise we'll work something out, shortly before going to the shed and getting out my shotgun.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:11, archived)
This was in a sketch show but I can't remember which one.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:13, archived)
I remember a Paul Merton sketch,
"I've got something to tell you... you're not adopted," comedy basics.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:15, archived)
and now i have an image of this daughter, ugly cunt

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:16, archived)
She'll be alright once he's had her in the garage to strip her down and fill all her cracks and give her a couple of new coats of paint.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:17, archived)
pop up head lights?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:31, archived)
Whoa.
Let's not go too far. This is his imaginary daughter we're talking about.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:39, archived)

I was watching a film with my boy last night while the wife was out. He said dad I'm getting scared, is that lady going to die? I said probably son, judging by the size of that horse's cock.
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:44, archived)
I dun lols

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:56, archived)
Half-French, surely?
Or is Frenchness like Jewness?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:28, archived)
It's like cats and dogs.
The boy offspring are English and the girl offspring are French.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:35, archived)
She sounds like every other fucker who ever had an opinion on language, ever

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:09, archived)
Naom Chomsky?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:11, archived)
He's one for starters
Universal Grammar, fucking cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:12, archived)
Someone tried to explain this to me once,
apparently there are just "switches," and learning your first language is just a case of learning which switches to flip. Except all the examples given were things where the two options were mutually exclusive anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:18, archived)
That sounds like complete bobbins to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:39, archived)
I dunno someone explained building a car to me once
Apparently you just have to put a load of stuff together and that's it
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:43, archived)
Fuck, I could do that.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:59, archived)
Nom Chompsky, fattest linguist in the world.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:29, archived)
I BET he either posts on QOTW or /links.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:35, archived)
Here, you two smarty pants, they found out why our hands and toes wrinkle.
But you can't guess without looking it up !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:58, archived)
it's because we stay in the bath too long.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 21:06, archived)
Different expansion and contraction rates of the different skin layers?

(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 21:52, archived)
Nope !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 22:07, archived)
I already read it in new scientist
It's because it helps to grip cocks better when they're wet.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 22:09, archived)
They evolved so we could masturbate better in the bath

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 22:10, archived)
if we'd evolved to wank in the bath, we'd have evolved to have no body hair at all

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 22:26, archived)
Like manatees?
Do you think manatees evolved to wank in the bath?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 22:32, archived)