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anyone here bank with RBS/Natwest?
Apparently it's all gone tits up, can't use credit/debit cards, cash machines, even online banking.

I might buy myself a safe and keep an emergency wad in there.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:04, archived)
Their servers have crashed under pressure from high volumes of traffic, their networks have alwasy been sub-standard.
Nothing to worry about.
(Pete Drexler aka Commander Chogis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:11, archived)
I'd worry about it
if I banked with them and was hoping to go to the pub tonight.

Neither of these things apply to me, but it's not all about me now, is it?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:13, archived)
Yes, but these things happen.
It hasn't been hacked, it's just imploded.

Will you be baking for your candle day?
(Pete Drexler aka Commander Chogis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:15, archived)
hang on i'll just fetch my account details and pin

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:11, archived)
It's OK. W already have them. Ta.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:13, archived)
8008 is a hilarious pin by the way.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:13, archived)
its 6969

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:18, archived)
Or just have two cards from different banks then you're insulated from technical problems but can still function in the 21st century.
edit ... see ... clearly this post is the single most incomprehensible thing ever typed into the internet. I sincerely apologise for any upset it may have caused pointing out a perfectly common idea of not having all your eggs in one basket.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:12, archived)
it also means having money in two accounts.
also what a bloody rigmarole. I'd need to get some sort of photo ID for starters.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:14, archived)
Yeah. But I'm a functioning adult living a constructive life in the present, not a lazy, self-pitying Luddite.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:18, archived)
yes yes we all know that you are the superior human on this forum

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:20, archived)
Superior for having a current account with a different bank to my credit card?
I mean ... obviously my charm and allure make me superior to moist, but my banking habits are pretty mundane.

Although I've got an account in France too, now that I think about it. I'm a motherfucking Rockefeller.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:22, archived)
yes but they still make you superior, having two bank accounts sets you apart from the rest of us

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:23, archived)
I only have two accounts because we didn't join the Euro.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:24, archived)
oh and not because
you expected one or the other of them to completely lose all ability to function from time to time?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:25, archived)
Are we talking two different languages.
I have a current account. I have a credit card with a different supplier. This doesn't in any way make me unusual.

I also have an account in France because we have a house there and it's got funny forrin money. Again ... this isn't a radical or particularly inventive way of managing money.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:28, archived)
I don't know why you are telling me this.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:29, archived)
Because you expressed deep confusion at how normal people live in 2013, you babbling twat.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:30, archived)
No I didn't.
I just said a bank's system had gone down, and you started insulting me, for some reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:31, archived)
I called you a lazy Luddite because you're seemingly incapable of getting photo id or a credit card in 2013

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:56, archived)
I could get photo ID if I wanted,
but I don't really need it, so I don't have it.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:01, archived)
Fairly sure normal people in the 21st century don't juggle their finances across two countries.

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:52, archived)
(something about nazi gold)

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 23:42, archived)
can i stay in your house in france for a week?
i need somewhere to stay next time i'm in france
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:30, archived)
If you're quick.
It's going to be rented out soon.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:33, archived)
nah i changed my mind

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:37, archived)
I'd have suggested more towards the moist end of the scale.
Don't most people get their credit card from their bank? Because that's really easy. They used to offer them insistently every time you went in a branch.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:24, archived)
Getting a credit card from anywhere was always easy.
That's why so many practically innumerate bell-ends managed to get themselves into debt.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:26, archived)
oh so you're only as superior as a practically innumerate bell-end?
That's nice to know.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:27, archived)
Why do you bother?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:29, archived)
to see what happens

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:30, archived)
But it's always the same.
You affect astonishment at a perfectly mundane aspect of life. Pretend indignation and confusion. Then act as though you're the sole sane mind left in a crazy world. After relating the same experiment for ten years I'd have thought it might have started to wear thin.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:32, archived)
yep,
it always works, and I'm not even trying.

I know that plenty of people have two different cards from two different banks. So what? Whoop de bloody do. I don't, and neither do a lot of people. It's not because they are ignorant non-functioning luddites. It's just because they feel like they only really need one bank account.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:35, archived)
I only have one bank account in the UK.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:36, archived)
Well there you go.
Normal, see?

Whatever point you were originally trying to make is rapidly losing traction.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:37, archived)
No wonder you can't get a job if you can't follow a perfectly simple conversation.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:40, archived)
I don't know if I can get a job or not,
I haven't bothered trying for years. It seems to me like you're the one who's lost the plot, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:41, archived)
Yes.
I have a current account and a single credit card. A personal banking arrangement so fiendishly arcane that I have to employ an army of accountants to manage it. You prat.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:44, archived)
So you keep saying,
for some reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:45, archived)
so you don't have two different accounts in the uk?

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:44, archived)
No.
Jesus wept. Did the past at the top of this thread become invisible?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:45, archived)
so why is she a luddite for not having two different accounts in the uk while you are not a luddite?

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:47, archived)
?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:49, archived)
you called her a self pitying luddite after she said
that she doesn't have two different accounts in the uk
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:50, archived)
I called her a lazy Luddite for claiming it was painfully difficult to get photo ID.
I'm not sure I'll be east to persuade out of that opinion.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:53, archived)
OHHH

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:53, archived)
she just said it would be a rigamarole to get the stuff together
and that she doesn't even have a photo id at the moment, you read it wrong
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:54, archived)
yeh
and for the amount a passport costs, I could just buy a safe.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:56, archived)
because I don't also have one in France,
I suppose.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:50, archived)
you should probably have thought about that before you caused the recession

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:51, archived)
its almost like you're not very good at making a point

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:49, archived)
I'll be sure to keep that in mind tomorrow when I'm being paid to explain complicated things to grown ups.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:55, archived)
well you are the superior human on this forum,
don't worry we haven't forgotten that
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:56, archived)
This has never been in question.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:58, archived)
i just thought you might need us to tell you that we all think that
i am just trying to be nice dont get cocky
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:58, archived)
I appreciate your kind words.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:01, archived)
OH GOD THIS IS ALL SO CONFUSING

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:37, archived)
I'm panic opening bank accounts in all the confusion

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:41, archived)
I just ran up an insane overdraft because I mistook my current account for a credit card

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:44, archived)
he makes his own superior forums donchano

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:23, archived)
Is that like spaghetti carbonara?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:35, archived)
Not sure what this means soz,
I thought the defining feature of the 21st century would be that everything was convenient and worked properly.

But clearly it's everybody else's fault when an entire bank's system crashes, for not having accounts with two different banks.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:20, archived)
Hurr durr burr grnnn durrr?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:23, archived)
you should have been ready for the economy going to shit too,
take some responsibility you prick
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:24, archived)
the economy going to shit didn't bother me in the slightest,
I took the sensible precaution of not having a job already.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:26, archived)
oh so maybe you aren't so stupid after all!

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:43, archived)
That'd wreck your plan for living off the grid in preparation for when the shit really goes down

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:27, archived)
the stock market's gonna blow its top within the year, I reckon.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:28, archived)
Those of us with some coppers in a jar are probably safe, yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:30, archived)
What happens if the FSCS runs out of money, who bails them out?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:13, archived)
Bank of England probably,
I don't know.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:21, archived)

safe
toilet
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:14, archived)
oh! i just tried to buy a bit of chicken from tesco on my card but it didnt work
so your claims seem to sound right
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:15, archived)
i did check to see if i could check my balance on the machine outside and that worked tho

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:15, archived)
no money

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:18, archived)
no problems

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:26, archived)
Now I bet you'd listened when I suggested you invested it all in bitcoins.
I can still sell you some sexcoins if you want, I've got 500 of the things.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:30, archived)
give me some bitcoins

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:34, archived)
maybe if you were nice to me I would

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 22:26, archived)
As your attorney, I advise you to invest heavily in raw materials
Money has had its day
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:36, archived)
or farmland

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:38, archived)
in venice

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:00, archived)
Never mind all that, did we ever get to the bottom of what colour your no tomatoes aren't?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:38, archived)
yes.
no tomatoes are RED.

otherwise the joke wouldn't work, would it?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:39, archived)
what joke?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:44, archived)
oh god

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:44, archived)
Ha ha shit bank

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:40, archived)
A quick Google reckons they did exactly the same six months ago.
Their IT is running on BBC micros.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:42, archived)
10 print "get bent"
20 goto 10
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:49, archived)
That's what's scrolling up the screen of my local rbs ATM.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:51, archived)
itt faggot paki nignogs

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:56, archived)
edgy

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 20:58, archived)
typical cracker

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 21:02, archived)