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*sigh*
www.bbc.com/news/world-40702752
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:50, archived)
cheer up it's danny dyer's birthday

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:53, archived)
many happy returns

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:54, archived)

twitter.com/MrDDyer/status/380377522174570496
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:21, archived)
christ

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:36, archived)
that really made me lol

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:58, archived)
They should make him race a great white.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:30, archived)
This post was found to contain the words 'white', 'race' and 'great'
You have therefore been banned for being a white supremacist.
(I helped save b3ta! God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:08, archived)
was the pile of smouldering crucifixes and the pillowcase with eye holes not a clue?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:11, archived)
Finally a scripture I can subscribe to

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:12, archived)
Alright, God.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:22, archived)
prick

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:26, archived)
Careful young(?) man. I could shrink yours to the size of a grain of rice

(I helped save b3ta! God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:34, archived)
Oh, I'll have some whizz as well if you're offering, ta.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:42, archived)
you wouldn't dare

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 16:02, archived)
he's all mouth m8

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 16:07, archived)
ahh the happy toast school of moderation

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 16:06, archived)
Is nothing real anymore?
Watched Minority Report last night, thought I'd seen it before. Turns out I have, but probably fell asleep when he "commits" the murder and missed the next 30 minutes of boringness.
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:57, archived)
No, everything is an illusion of some kind

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:05, archived)
alright, Jean Baudrillard

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:09, archived)
alright

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:09, archived)
not bad thanks, you?

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:10, archived)
I could complain, but who'd listen!? hahaha no I'm great

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:16, archived)
Use your illusion
Parts 1 & 2
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:18, archived)
I started watching Top Secret, but went to bed.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:38, archived)
Val Kilmer's finest role
Then Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, then Heat.
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:53, archived)
but is it art?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:57, archived)
=IF(ISNUMBER(SEARCH("Paul Simon",A1)),"Not art","Art")

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:00, archived)
Yes
It exists only for the purpose of being looked at.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:06, archived)
+f

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:09, archived)
+ garfunkel raping a baby panda

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:10, archived)
buuuuurning like fi-ire

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:15, archived)
Turns out Jade Goody was a vacuum cleaner in a dress and makeup all along,
fitted with a voice synthesiser that read out the comments texted in to a late-night chatline.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:04, archived)
come on m8
saying that she was a vacuum cleaner implies that she was useful in some way
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:07, archived)
Alright then, a broken vacuum cleaner that's been hit by lightning and fused solid inside
so you can't even cannibalise it for parts.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:15, archived)
now we're talking

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:16, archived)
I threw out my old vacuum cleaner, it was just collecting dust.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:16, archived)
I'm amazed that some people actually thought he would really be racing the shark in open water

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:05, archived)
inorite

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:06, archived)
why didn't he just wank it off

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:09, archived)
hahaha
that's a really good question, dollars.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:13, archived)
I for one would like to see more sportspeople wanking marine mammals

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:57, archived)
Kriss Akabusi: My dolphin wanking adventures

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:00, archived)
Taylor Swiftzzzzzz

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:59, archived)
They should do a race between Feargal Sharkey, Sharlto Copley (because his name sounds a bit like a shark) and a shark.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:21, archived)
They should make Michael Phelps bust crime, undersea.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:31, archived)
CSI: Atlantis

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:39, archived)
I would probably watch an Aquaman / CSI crossover.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:47, archived)
I'll watch you in a minute sunshine

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:50, archived)
Who knows what wacky hijinks I'll be getting up to next?

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:52, archived)
I raced a shark around the world in 80 days

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:26, archived)
How long did that take?

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:32, archived)
I didn't allow for timezones so I don't know

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:37, archived)
can't have been more than a week

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:45, archived)
I was in a jet, the shark had a pedalo

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:09, archived)
bullshit
where are you getting a jet?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:14, archived)
any of these would do
i.imgur.com/6NeKpP2.png
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:13, archived)
this more like
iv1.lisimg.com/image/9521857/640full-jimbo-and-the-jet--set-screenshot.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:15, archived)
I'm not going outside the ring road mate, they're all scum

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:16, archived)
sensible

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:24, archived)

road piece
lol
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:26, archived)
lol indeed!

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:29, archived)
man city are spunking money, left, right and centre

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:13, archived)
fucking stupid wankers

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:15, archived)
that's so hot

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:24, archived)

city and other man

money
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:34, archived)
am i supposed to do something with this information?

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:34, archived)
Be outraged that the men's team are getting paid considerably more than the women's?

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:42, archived)
Fuck 'em. Anyone who has anything to do with, or even knows anything about football is vile reactionary scum, probably.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:51, archived)
Nah, m8, they're all lesbians, you can't fuck 'em.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:54, archived)
Still don't think they'll win the league
All these signing have to gel in a month, no chance.
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:35, archived)
I hope pep gets the boot six games in

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:41, archived)
It would make my summer
Although they would then try and poach Benitez probably.
(I helped save b3ta! keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:43, archived)
And cal.
Not to mention that Rob Manuel.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:46, archived)
christ, me too
I'm literally praying for that outcome
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:58, archived)
May as well - you can't take it with you, after all.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:38, archived)