"You're the best around!" so says 80's songsmith, Joe Esposito, in a song penned for evergreen kick-flick "The Karate Kid"
But let me ask you this; what are you the best at? What can you do that makes you feel like nothing's ever gonna keep you down?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:36, archived)

I’m an extremely talented hype man, able to repeat rap lyrics in a wonderful nasal tone.

(Garold Huzzah!, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:41, archived)

A very important skill, as you need to be able to cut through the mix

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:12, archived)

WANKSMELL

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:47, archived)

Well this wins, obviously

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:03, archived)

dunno, haven't felt like that for a while tbh
since I don't have a real answer, time to make up some spectacular-sounding bullshit for the internet

I held my school's shot put, discus and javelin records when I was in the sixth form and got scouted by a national coach for Team GB, but the coach dropped me when he saw how well I was getting on with his supermodel girlfriend
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 10:59, archived)

GO TEAM GB!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

that reminded me of my school sports day, for some reason
each class had to nominate someone for every event, the class thought it would be funny to nominate me for everything.

it was quite funny sitting in the woods near the playing fields hearing my name being shouted over a tannoy for the 1500 metres whilst trying burn some soap bar into a spliff
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:30, archived)

I can fart the bassline to 'Oh Yeah' by Yello

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:04, archived)

I'm very good at nearly - but not quite - dying

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

Thinking of a great comeback, absolute zinger, devastating, funny
... three years after the original conversation.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:20, archived)

I spend way more time obsessing over old conversations than I should

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:13, archived)

#blackmirror

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:20, archived)

Anal
/ac
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:26, archived)

master of bating

( Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:33, archived)

i don't know who joe esposito is and frankly i don't want to

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:34, archived)

Still got all my hair and a 28 inch waist

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:35, archived)

+in a carrier bag in my loft

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:37, archived)

#vampiresofsoho

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:37, archived)

#whiskersonkittens

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:39, archived)

Does the 28 inch waist belong to your inflatable girlfriend?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:40, archived)

I tell you now, I can fix most anything.
Takes me a while, but I always get there.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:41, archived)

now then, now then

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:46, archived)

can you fix a broken heart?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:02, archived)

Oh

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:02, archived)

Except a broken heart, apparently 💔

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:02, archived)

i reckon i could given enough practice

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:21, archived)

Reckon you could have a stab at reversing a Hartmann's procedure?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:25, archived)

yes

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:40, archived)

Perfect
I'll stick the kettle on
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:41, archived)

i'm surprised you can get your arm through the spout

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:49, archived)

Haha, you card

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 13:03, archived)

I'm the greatest lover in the world
I was born just to love you, young girls
I'm the greatest lover ever seen
Hey, try me and see what I mean
I'm the first, the last, the best and the most
The women love me from coast to coast
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:54, archived)

can confirm

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 11:57, archived)

Woah
Wait, which coasts?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:29, archived)

From New York City, out to L.A.
The women think about me both night and day
From Canada to Mexico
I'm the one the women love the most
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:38, archived)

Well this is food for thought

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 12:41, archived)

Hang about, how young

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 13:19, archived)

These days, if you allude to impropriety with young girls, you get defended until death by a bloated corporate juggernaut that then spends the next decade conspicuously wringing its hands with calculated remorse

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 13:24, archived)

And thrown in jail

(dribble, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 13:25, archived)

Humility.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 8 Feb 2021, 13:37, archived)