afternoon
I'm having the afternoon off, going take a stroll up the pub I reckon.

Got a mate coming to visit tomorrow, cooking an Indian spread. Up to much?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:06, archived)

Staying home, protecting the NHS

(dribble, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:10, archived)

viewing a house this weekend

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:15, archived)

I hope it's shit and you catch covid off the estate agent

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:19, archived)

thanks m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:42, archived)

welcs, bro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:58, archived)

Viewing the NHS, protecting the home

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:18, archived)

Gaying a gnome, then joining the SS

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:19, archived)

alright dribble

(dribble, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:28, archived)

taken 2 soon
popped back and fucked off again 2 soon
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:31, archived)

😭

(dribble, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 13:01, archived)

Well frankly I'm disgusted.
That doesn't even properly alliterate!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 23 Apr 2021, 14:12, archived)

is chutney an Indian spread?
this afternoon I'll be waiting for my latest piece of home gym kit to arrive, and maybe even hitting the park after work
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:24, archived)

I'm making a mint and red onion chutney, how about THAT

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:25, archived)

+as I type this

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:30, archived)

sounds good, I'll be round later

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:34, archived)

also:
karahi gosht, tadka dal, chilli paneer tikka, pilau rice, poppadums. Naans are beyond my capability at this time, but there's a shop round the corner that does 3 x fresh naans for a quid, so no drama there
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:40, archived)

just do a Heston, dig a hole in the ground and fill it with bricks
boom: your own tandoor
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:41, archived)

maybe I could 'repurpose' the fucking great hole dug by foxes trying to get under the shed
I really want to get into the 'dhungar method' for the dal and the paneer but I don't have a gas hob so this would mean starting the bbq to get two single coals, which seems a little bit like too much hard work
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:46, archived)

might develop and market a product that would make cooking that way simpler for people
I'd call it 'Dhungar-Ease'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:49, archived)

teh lol

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:55, archived)

would it though?
I reckon that if I put two decent-sized coals in my BBQ chimney with a firelighter under them, they'd light
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:50, archived)

yeah maybe you're right and I should stop being such a lazy cunt

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:57, archived)

One of those Anglo-Indian things, I reckon.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:40, archived)

nah, chutneys are an Indian-Indian thing
what I'm trying to say is that you're a fucking chutney m8
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:47, archived)

needs more bhang lassi

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 13:29, archived)

caulideflower

(dribble, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 14:16, archived)

Day off today
Might go to the parents' house for lunch, then an early night for work in the morning
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:26, archived)

maybe stop off at the padlock shop en route

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:38, archived)

She don't care about the locks that they got

(dribble, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 13:00, archived)

My dad's probably got one in the shed
Might sew a pocket into my bra
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 13:18, archived)

stro wi
+y
pub bum-bum
I reckon from other gay spazzes
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:27, archived)

standard

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 12:30, archived)

Just did a fart that sounded like a small crowd slow-clapping a bad comedy act
and now the room smells really fucking horrible.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 13:15, archived)

lay off the sprouts

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 16:36, archived)

I exploded my electric shaver by plugging the wrong charger into it.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Fri 23 Apr 2021, 16:15, archived)