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All the shingle ladies (all the shingle ladies) wo ohhh woah oahhh ohhh
morning
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 7:52, archived)
alright Sean, thought you were dead
morning
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 7:58, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:01, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:11, archived)
I dreamt that I still hadn't finished my degree, and that for some reason I was in a maths class in Winchester College as part of it
Billy Nighy was the teacher, and he announced Boris Johnson had resigned at the start of the class. I had no paper or pens and didn't understand the lesson.

How about THAT?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:13, archived)
What that means is that I fancy my mum and want to kill my dad.
The clues are all there
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:14, archived)
+i

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:16, archived)
this took me far too long
(as I didn't say to your nan last night)
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:24, archived)
I read that thing about BoJo's phone number on Pop Bitch yesterday
he really is thick as pig shit isn't he?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:34, archived)
it would seem so eh

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:38, archived)
shurely shome mishtake
morning
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:17, archived)
It's no mishtake
and don't call me Shirley.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:34, archived)
heh
is this some kind of bust?
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:35, archived)
Hi, my baby girl got her first job , so proud, 18 and pulling pints

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:59, archived)
I totally read that as jab and wondered what the connection was
excellent. You must never go drinking in that pub ever.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:05, archived)
don't listen to gary
go there tonight, get off your fucking nut and get thrown out for doing sniff off the table - it's called 'tough love', she'll thank you in the long run.

you're welcome
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:37, archived)
if I worked in a pub and my dad came in, I'd card him for a laugh

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:39, archived)
when I last visited my dad in the US, we went for a pint at the airport
They ID'd us - combined age of 110+

stupid pricks
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:42, archived)
'murica!

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:52, archived)
I loved it when my dad worked in the pub
I used to go in when I was skint and get free drinks
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:13, archived)
Lol theft

(dribble, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 15:07, archived)
mine's coming to stay for the weekend for the first time in 7 months (unless she cancels last minute)
super excited - but rather embarrassingly my wife's best mate has just sent us a restaurant box from a fancy Italian place in Covent Garden so when I get back from collecting jr later she's going to have to watch us eat a 4 course dinner for two inc candles and champagne, having just eaten some fucking slop at her mum's
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:40, archived)
You're going to eat candles?
very Heston Blumenthal.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:42, archived)
yes gary.
we're going to eat candles.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:43, archived)
four of them? Like in the 2ronnies sketch that was almost as funny as only fools and horses when trigger pulled a face?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:00, archived)
Nice

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:44, archived)

Treat yourself with some lovely wool socks made in Britain by Hebtroco DEAR GOD LOOK AT THE STATE OF THAT CUNT'S LEGS
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:00, archived)
It's like he'd fallen asleep and his 3 year old daughter had cut loose with a sharpie

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:02, archived)
Good morning!
Nice day of relaxation, followed with some retail therapy, then off to give dad his birthday present
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:15, archived)
Oooh what did you get him? Or haven't you bought it yet?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:24, archived)
Not bought it yet
He's a bugger to buy for, if I ask him what he wants, he just says anything
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:29, archived)
Lego it is then

(dribble, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 13:46, archived)