Good afternoon
The week's already half over. What shall we do with the rest of it?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 13:28, archived)

Anal
/ac
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 May 2021, 13:44, archived)

sex can make your day, but anal can make your hole weak!
#hoaryoldjokes
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 13:48, archived)

celebratory steak dinner later
that's a decent place to start I reckon

it's my mother's 70th birthday 2moz also
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 13:55, archived)

that is a decent place to start
I haven't had a proper steak in ages

happy birthday to Mother Queef (sounds like a cabaret character)
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 13:59, archived)

her actual do will be in July when we can all meet up legally and safely
fortunately my sister has offered to host, and her husband is a superb cook
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:06, archived)

nice
I can't even remember the last time I cooked for somebody else

tiny violin, etc.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:14, archived)

wizard cowardly turncoat traitor
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:17, archived)

ha ha, what are you on about?
lol
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:18, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:20, archived)

get nandos on deliveroo m8, no need to cook eh
my brother in law was a Masterchef contestant back in the Loyd Grossman days and has a wine collection worth tens of thousands, we'll be well looked after
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:20, archived)

they always seem to be so modest about it as well
"I've just whipped us up something simple", before coming out of the kitchen with a mountain pike in a liquid nitrogen-seared salt crust and a leaning tower of Pisa made of macarons
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:25, archived)

Are you going to poke around his digs going "and WHOOOO would LIVE in a houze like THIZZZ?"
I bet he'd love that.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:29, archived)

I sure am!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:31, archived)

^ life and soul of the party ^

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:44, archived)

you betcha!
I'm a right jester and no mistake
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:53, archived)

Alright alias

( mongychops, Wed 12 May 2021, 15:17, archived)

I love that show, one of Cosgrove Hall's best
was very pleased when my nipper got into it too. The DVD cost a fair old whack though, must have been £25 or so
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 15:21, archived)

Jesus christ it's £60-odd these days

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 15:22, archived)

The thing about collections, is that you collect them, you don’t drink them. It’s a tragedy.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 May 2021, 17:41, archived)

dunno, might spend the rest of the week THREADSTOMPING A BELOVED BOARD CONTRIBUTOR'S THREADS WILLY NILLY.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:06, archived)

I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Are you implying someone has done that very recently?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 May 2021, 14:07, archived)

must be a reference to something from ages ago
there's been nothing like that going on today
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:08, archived)

no beloved contributors have been stomped today

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:13, archived)

None at all, as far as I can see.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 May 2021, 14:47, archived)

what, no 'lol willy'?
This country!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:14, archived)

what, no 'lol willy'?This I am an annoying
o
ry!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:16, archived)

MASTER OF THE STRIKEY-G

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:18, archived)

you seem to have an intermittent fault with what we in 'IT' call 'your caps lock key'
My professional advice is to destroy all of your digital devices immediately, and then belt yourself repeatedly in the genitals with a lump hammer
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:23, archived)

are you perhaps minded to suggest that I delete my account, then kill myself?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:26, archived)

that depends, are you a racist?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:30, archived)

oh I definitely am, I'm an unreconstructed pro-apartheid white supremacist, an avowed anti-semite, and firm believer in eugenics.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:39, archived)

in that case be very careful when you put your bins out, that's all I'm saying

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:52, archived)

it's alright, everyone's white where I live, no chance of being mugged by an illegal immigrant

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:54, archived)

it's brb you need to worry about m8, not immigrants

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:56, archived)

I doubt brb has the financial resources required to track me down, travel to my location, and then duff me up a bit simply for my political views.
BUT IT IS BIN NIGHT TONIGHT!!!!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 15:01, archived)

what, no 'Boney M' gags? Really?
This country!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 15:21, archived)