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Morning
It is the morning. I do not feel well.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 7:51, archived)
I really cannot be arsed with it today

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 7:53, archived)
Shall we sack it off and go to the beach?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 7:54, archived)
tempted to take tomorrow off
supposed to be a SCORCHA

in other sun-related news I've just read that after losses last year The Sun news has just been valued at £0. Lol
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:33, archived)
I know, it's great, isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:46, archived)
I might offer them a quid for it, just to be generous.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:15, archived)
oh christ no
my nearest beach is mablethorpe :(
(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:14, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:27, archived)
for my nearest beach I have a choice between Skegness or Weston-super-Mare

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:24, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8304335
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:30, archived)
morning
Self inflicted? I've slept funny and my back hurts

lol old
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:31, archived)
I think I've eaten something
My belly is angry and I've done some horrible shits
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:48, archived)
unlucky
I was in similar trouble yesterday but I can easily identify the culprit: three consecutive meals of curry.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:53, archived)
morning mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:56, archived)
Not your mate.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:48, archived)
:'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)
morning
got the big fan out now

summer is officially here
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)
+ny

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)
lol fanny

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:13, archived)
fanny lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:18, archived)
that is a rude word lol

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:49, archived)
Fuck ing hell
building work begins tomorrow. This may not go well.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:24, archived)
pretty much guaranteed not to go off without drama of some sort I suspect

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:27, archived)
A world of lintels
agroprops, footings and skips. And pain. And dust. And vast, vast expense.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:31, archived)
Not sure theres enough tradesmen here to pick up on your joke in there

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:43, archived)
I got it.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:49, archived)
yep, not a fucking clue here

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:18, archived)
nor me

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)
They are called acrow..habana I'm sure you agree

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:28, archived)
well that's improved my day, no question

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:49, archived)
Something about agro?

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:26, archived)
^ is that online internet harassment?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:32, archived)

de n
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:40, archived)
this is clever but it took me far too long to get

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:29, archived)
You'll be alright.
Just Google up some lad banter so you can put the tradesman at ease
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:49, archived)
or just talk about the football, because they certainly will be

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:51, archived)
The project manager is learning to play guitar
and I know a few more chords than him so if it all goes wrong I can start talking about alternative fingerings and reaching around. No. Hang on...
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:52, archived)
When we had our extension plastered, it was a father and son team
The son turned out to be a really good blues guitarist, so we jammed for a bit. Until his dad stormed in and told us both off, because there was work to be done 😁
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:05, archived)
They calls it pink plaster Tuesday
and all I got's the blues
They calls it plastering' Tuesday
But I still gots the blues
I gone mixed up a bucketload
And none of it gots used
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:12, archived)
That's by Muddy Waters

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:13, archived)
my favourite bluesman is Sleepy John Estes because he sounds like rhyming slang

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:19, archived)
"See the match?"
"Which one?"
"Dunno."
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:41, archived)
"your face, my arse"
Or the rarer, collectible one: "your breath, a camel's fart"
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:50, archived)
HAVE A WANK
lol
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:38, archived)
Seriously though, make sure to keep hydrated
Combination of dicky tummy and hot weather is lethal
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:39, archived)
dicky
lol
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:44, archived)
Haha, like 'dick', right?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:53, archived)
lol u like dick rofl

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:15, archived)
lmao

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:20, archived)
Uh oh hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:00, archived)
I've got terrible trapped wind already , doing a right number on my guts

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:44, archived)
My brother was complaining of chest pain once
Our mum (true to form) gave him the whole "oh pull yourself together, it's just trapped wind, stop bloody moaning" bit. Long story short, he ended up in hospital with a collapsed lung. She's never lived that one down
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:53, archived)
So you're saying I'm dying ? For real ?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:54, archived)
I'm just saying we shouldn't rule it out

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:03, archived)
rip m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:20, archived)
I broke my arm falling off my BMX once
and it was 3 days before my dad believed it was broken and took me to A&E.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:23, archived)
sorry about your dad being a cunt m8

(sticklebrlcks ❤️, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:41, archived)
"So you grew an extra elbow? You should be grateful, I never had one of those growing up. We had to make do with the two god gave us"

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:47, archived)
If you insist.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:48, archived)
morning
get well soon
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:45, archived)
Aren't you a doctor. Why aren't you helping me.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:50, archived)
nah, I'm the just the one who makes the medicines.
You need agent pr1ck to prescribe one of them first.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:16, archived)
He's too busy being a dick towards his dick neighbours

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:28, archived)
Morning, I too
am in the dodgy guts crew
might go for a poo
again
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:49, archived)
show us what to do
make a break for the loo
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:51, archived)
i have done some very bad mess poopies

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:20, archived)
morning
I'm trying to even out the stripes of tanned skin and pasty white skin across my fat belly
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:20, archived)
I'm having real problems believing that you have a fat belly m8, you're a streak of piss

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:13, archived)
I've done a lot of eating and drinking throughout covid
An unfortunate side effect of the condition of being a streak of piss is that any weight gain only appears on the belly, resulting in the classic 'snake that has swallowed an egg' look
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:46, archived)