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not morning
ze veekend ist hier, wunderbar.

off down to my sister's for the weekend for a quiet break in the country, well needed after this shitcunt of a week. up to much?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:04, archived)
hiya

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:06, archived)
lower

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:08, archived)
it's good, but it's not the right answer

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:09, archived)
say what you're looking at

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:11, archived)
it's Mr Chips having a wank.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:16, archived)
It’s right, but it’s not good

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:30, archived)
high queef, been a pretty shitcunty week here as well, this weekend imma kick back & whack my winky over a weimarpoo

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:11, archived)
sound

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:31, archived)
Family are down so its barbecue time
Any suΔ£gestions.from.the resident foodie? I have loads.of nommmy ribs and steak
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:17, archived)
Cover the lot in jam and spunk in its rib-eye.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:23, archived)
It's an option

(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:44, archived)
I made a fantastic rub for steak of garlic granules, coarse ground pepper, kosher salt and activated charcoal
It's the fucking tits:
imgur.com/bcp9Aoh

It's basically a home made version of this:
jesspryles.com/hardcore-carnivore-black-rub/

I do ribs with the 3-2-1 method:

heygrillhey.com/3-2-1-ribs-perfect-fall-off-the-bone-ribs/

Haha, you won't throw them in the 'dusty bin' I can assure you!

I make a rib glaze out of shop bought bbq sauce let down with apple cider vinegar, added hot sauce and rum/bourbon, brush it on right at the end or the sugar will burn

ur welcs bruv
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:34, archived)
Ta
Not goy any kosher salt in
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:08, archived)
you can use Maldon salt if you have that but it will be more expensive
this stuff is far from cheap in itself, but it's well worth getting and goes a long way:
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/124232985041
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:13, archived)
PS you can probably get the charcoal from Holland & Barrett, I got mine on eBay for a couple of quid

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:15, archived)
Got loads of charcoal. Ta
Lidl own brand barbecue sauce is bery good so is tje Aldi one
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:45, archived)
I mean activated charcoal, food grade stuff for your steak rub
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Activated-Charcoal-Powder-100-Pure-Food-Grade-Natural-Coconut-Shells-25g-1kg-/283640507855
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:46, archived)
PPS gamechanger:
pat your steaks dry with kitchen paper, season, then leave (uncovered) in your fridge on a grill rack for as long as you can (a good few hours, overnight ideally), removing from there 1hr before cooking - the crust you'll get is amazing
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:44, archived)
Fuck all work on, so I might head up to Dartmoor and see if I can liberate some liberty caps.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:18, archived)
best of British m8
I always forget when 'the season' starts - mind you I only know one guaranteed spot. Hang on - it's near Winchester where I'm going this weekend, get in. Don't suppose the mrs will be best pleased if I make her go trespassing instead of chilling in country pubs though
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:36, archived)
STRIKETHROUGH O AND R!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:55, archived)
fget
monzzzzz
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 15:09, archived)
just dun a huge poo lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:31, archived)
that's not funny

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:36, archived)
gonna play with my new Oculus Rift I reckon

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:47, archived)
have fun m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:01, archived)
Weekend without the niece
She's fucked off to Llandudno with her new boyfriend. Hope she fucking stays there.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 12:52, archived)
I really thought you were rid of her

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:01, archived)
Fat chance
I'm hoping this new lad has his own place and asks her to move in with him
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:08, archived)
fingers crossed

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:14, archived)
Gonna fit the kitchen worktop
then measure up for the splashback and sort out the drawings in Adobe Illustrator. There's a firm around the corner who will feed it into a CNC machine to cut what we want out of a sheet of aluminium composite. Excited but nervous as I'm a measure, cut, swear, cut again, measure again, throw it away and start from scratch kind of person.

Saturday we've got a ZipVan booked to get all our stuff back from storage so by the end of the weekend we ought to have a kitchen once more. I've missed the dishwasher...
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:33, archived)
big tings a'gwan chez garold - hope it all goes smoothly for you pal

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:36, archived)
It's getting there
we've done a lot of work ourselves so it's ... okay. The original walls in this place are 5cm thick and filled with kind of rolls of cardboard - the days before building regs when the tories were pushing cheap house building like mad. Anyway, we wanted a proper fire door between the kitchen and the living room so we added some studding, insulation and plasterboard, fitted a new door and frame (fucking palaver, the door sizes in this house aren't standard so had to widen the gap). We got it plastered at the same time as the extension, not gonna try THAT myself.

I put ceiling lights in the old part of the kitchen too. They look ace.

The floor we put down in the extension isn't perfect - the screed the builders laid isn't bang-on and we didn't have time to go to town with any self-levelling compound. I guess a few years down the line we could maybe pay someone to do a proper job but it's fine for now.

This is why I was miffed about the living room floor, we thought of maybe replacing it in a few years with something nice, if it gets replaced now with like-for-like it won't really be ideal. The money to cover the cost would be though...
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:43, archived)
maybe get a discount on the worktops rather than getting the floor fixed?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:45, archived)
It'll like be an insurance claim
they'll ask me to complete a form, forward it to their insurers who may send an adjuster out to assess the cost of repairing it. It's a big firm, they probably have this issue from time-to-time and just follow a procedure.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:47, archived)
The company delivering the worktops dropped a piece
making a big corner-shaped dent in the floor. It's gone straight through the very thin wood on the top so I can't see it being repairable and by rights they should replace the whole lot. I mean, it was Β£7 a square meter from B&Q and it's hard a hard time of its 8 year life but that dent is right by the front door and worse than any other damage that's its sustained. We were hoping to wring another 5 years out of it.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:37, archived)
no-one wants to be 'that customer' but if they've fucked your floor they should fix it
it probably happens all day long. Can't they just replace the damaged bit?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:41, archived)
It's click flooring
so... yes they could but they'd need to get the same type of flooring (good luck, it was on special in B&Q back in 2013 as end-of-line) and take it all up to replace the damaged piece.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Sep 2021, 13:45, archived)