another wazzfest of an afternoon
was hoping to get out for a walk but not going out in this shit and the BBC says it will rain all day most likely. what a bunch of wank

having a good day?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 12:39, archived)

Not too bad, just off to the spoons in farringdon, few there then home

( mongychops, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 12:41, archived)

my wife and I had breakfast in there the morning after our wedding, classy huh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:00, archived)

the morning after our wedding, classy huh and she said, I think I remember that spoons

I'm going to bail out of this one now before I lose the will to live.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:55, archived)

thank goodness for that

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:38, archived)

I have to go out
Appointment with the nurse for my b12 jab. Thankfully, it's only 5 doors away
( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:14, archived)

I've heard you're very much a BBC man.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:20, archived)

nah it's the same colour as the rest of me

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:27, archived)

what, a dirty looking light brown?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:38, archived)

+ texture like sun

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:46, archived)

I always thought that stood for Big Black Cock
all depends on context, I suppose.

Damn it's shitty outdoors...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:26, archived)

that was the joke mate, I was 'comedically' implying that Queef Richard's is quite partial to a black man's penis

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:31, archived)

Losing the will to live with shit at work
But otherwise, tip top
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:47, archived)

fancy a pint in Trotters' bar later?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:51, archived)

Cushty rodders
I mean, no, soz
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:53, archived)

WELL FUCK YOU THEN, CHEERS YOU CUNT

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:10, archived)

Clickin’ dis

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:25, archived)

Just put a bottle of Heidseck Monople in the fridge
my mum's on the way over to stay for a few days and enjoy come culchaaaaahhhhhh innit. I've booked her in to see the Hogarth in Europe and the Yayoi Kusama: Infinity Mirror Rooms exhibition at the Tate. We've got a box booked in the ENO for Valkyrie on Friday. Five fucking hours of Wagner opera - can't wait!

It's a friend's 50th today too so he's calling in on the way back so we'll have a full house and a bottle of bubbly.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:52, archived)

I’ve run this through Google Translate and am still none the wiser

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:54, archived)

We went to Yayoi Kusama's exhibition at GOMA in Brisbane a few years ago.
I'm not an insufferable art ponce, but it was good fun. I particularly liked the obliteration room, where you get handed a sheet of coloured stickers and whack them anywhere you like in the room.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 13:59, archived)

OOohhhh! Sounds like fun!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:25, archived)

It was a lot more fulfilling than it deserved to be.
I guess she knows what she's doing.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:39, archived)

+ five hours of Wagner? Why not go the whole hog and grow a toothbrush moustache and gas some Jews?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:01, archived)

I fear anyone who can listen to 5 hours of Wagner, they clearly have more grim determination than I can muster.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:03, archived)

how do I unsubscribe to your blog?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:10, archived)

You leave and never come back

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:03, archived)

sounds a bit extreme mate

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:15, archived)

Extreme? It’s a minimum requirement.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 17:13, archived)

I'm not sure I could consume 5 hours of any art or media
in one sitting
(piss and shit, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:19, archived)

I'll have to smuggle a bottle of brandy in with us...

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:25, archived)

See if you can get popcorn down Brünhilda's cleavage

( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:31, archived)

It'll help pass the time

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:45, archived)

sounds alright
if you're going to live in London it makes sense to make use of the benefits. Something we've not been able to do for some time.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:22, archived)

Mum's been a bit bereft of highbrow entertainment for the last 18 months
in Feb 2020 we went to the Barbican for the Beethoven festival weekender and did all nine symphonies so we did get a whole year's worth of classical music in one big hit.

Valkyrie may be pushing things a bit but my mum won an ENO raffle so we thought we'd get our money's worth - five hours. FIVE HOURS! That's value...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:25, archived)

drop some acid on the way there

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:30, archived)

You got any?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:46, archived)

Lemon juice makes a refreshing substitute for LSD.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:01, archived)

Lemony Squeezed Drips

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:03, archived)

You want hallucinations? Spray some in your eyes!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:05, archived)

wow, pro tip right here guy's

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 16:12, archived)

Can't get trips for love or money, and my love is goood

( mongychops, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 16:20, archived)

I reckon the dark web is where we will find some
but I haven't a clue about crypto and not only that, the people with whom I would take it have been excised from my life for the purposes of prolonging both my existence and my marriage. No acid for me :(
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 16:52, archived)

5 hours of Wagner is a bit much
Take her to a saucy puppet show instead
( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:29, archived)

She can damn well go to Muppet burlesque
under her own steam. She's a grown up now.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:45, archived)

“ADVANCED SAFETY - Our portable space heater is made of flame retardant material.”

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 14:58, archived)

They're heating space now?
It's global warming gone mad.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:04, archived)

Seriously though, the last heater I bought was made of paper and styrofoam, so this is a huge improvement.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:06, archived)

wow that sure is advanced, eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:05, archived)

Someone in the reviews complaining that it didn’t get hot enough to burn their hands if they held them directly in front of the heater.
What a pity.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:10, archived)

portable space heater is made of flame customers are
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 15:22, archived)

Not really
It's shit out.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 17:25, archived)

Sorry, that came off as excessively negative
Lets start again. Not the best day, but could be worse. Have a warm drink and cheer up a bit.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 7 Dec 2021, 17:31, archived)