Good evening lovely people
I hope your day has been wonderful and brilliant and splendid
( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:05, archived)

Santa chopped Tony's cock off

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:06, archived)

He'll give it to someone else
After all, it's the gift that keeps on jizzing
( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:42, archived)

This year to save him from tears +
else
After all, it's the gift that keeps on jizzing special
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 21:56, archived)

Last Christmas +
+ but the very next day he gave it away
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 21:59, archived)

Yeah been great, I hope this post finds you well ?

( mongychops, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:28, archived)

I hope it doesn't find me at all
*ducks*
( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:41, archived)

OK, soz

( mongychops, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:03, archived)

It's cold here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:34, archived)

Try the oven instead

( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:43, archived)

Alright Ye, calm down ffs

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:57, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8351369
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 20:34, archived)

Blondie mit blauen augen

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 20:55, archived)

There's no lovely people around here
they're all up in hobbiton
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:39, archived)

The Sat Nav is off

( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:43, archived)

We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing red knickers

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:57, archived)

Still no excuse for that kind of driving
Step out of the car, please.
( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:58, archived)

Is there maybe something I can do for you, hmm?
Or maybe my wife could do for you, to avoid this dilemma?
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:14, archived)

I dunno
I guess I've just got the blues, brother.

Tell you what, I'll let you off with a warning this time.
( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:24, archived)

yeah

( $$ ✅, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:49, archived)

word.

( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 17:55, archived)

Yes ty
And come on Morocco!
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:12, archived)

With Tony's chopped off cock?
Disgusting!
( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:24, archived)

Still got bits of screen embedded in it

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:38, archived)

Difficult decision... painfully tear off the entire mangled organ, or agonizingly pick out the glass shards with a pair of rusty, pointed tweezers.
Hard to know which would be funnier.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:42, archived)

Just leave it and audition as the next bond villain

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:48, archived)

Scarymemba?

( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:52, archived)

Golf trophy

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:59, archived)

Picking out the glass shards
With a hard to control wobbly rubber handled steak tenderiser?
( MiseryCunt, Fri 2 Dec 2022, 18:50, archived)