smeggy bellend thread
hey wanker's, it's a long weekend, which to the working hoi polloi has some significance, I am informed. anything exciting planned? bbq 2moz, pizzas Sat, roast lamb Sun, bit of pub, this and that, you know.

prolly bugger a bunny, seeing as it's easter
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 15:08, archived)

High queefs, I'm off to the coast for stuff & ting.
Might jizz on a jesus
( broadsword, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 15:35, archived)

I'm 'rolling the stone away' as I type this

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 15:48, archived)

Laying flooring my friend

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 15:40, archived)

as our Lord in heaven commanded us so to do

Ah-ahh-men
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 15:49, archived)

^ gay

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:01, archived)

your favourite band
v
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXvbGVbx4dA&ab_channel=MART%C3%8DNDEIDIAZABAL
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:06, archived)

Your favourite band
v

youtu.be/V2arSoG9iY0
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:11, archived)

they were great
closer to the Kinks than the Pistols
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:25, archived)

Kinky homosexuals, eh?
That's why they're your favourite.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:33, archived)

correct

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:42, archived)

Might crucify myself in a playpark

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 15:47, archived)

alright 'Sebastian Horsley'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 15:49, archived)

god he was one of the biggest cunts of all time eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 15:53, archived)

Sebastian Horsley was alright though

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 15:56, archived)

Just looked him up, as I have no memory of even hearing that name before.
After a brief look at his Wikipedia entry, I'm satisfied that I never want to hear his name again.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 7 Apr 2023, 6:29, archived)

it's a two-handed job fool

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 7 Apr 2023, 1:56, archived)

Doing a leg of lamb and all the trimmings for Sunday
Might consider some sweet potato garlic mash if that is allowed
Might pee in Dozer's letterbox
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:05, archived)

I've moved to Milton Keynes m8

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:11, archived)

no problem, I'm willing to relocate

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:28, archived)

How would you describe your level of cookery?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:34, archived)

gourmet, bro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:46, archived)

poor old chompy, hope he's sorted himself out and he's doing ok

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:51, archived)

I recently discovered purple sweet potatoes
white flesh (brb klaxon), nowhere near as sweet, much nicer than yer regular sweet p's. Unfortunately about 3 x the price of normal spuds but hey ho
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:28, archived)

white flesh (brb klaxon), nowhere near as sweet, much nicer than yer regular sweet p's. Unfortunately about 3 x the price of normal spuds but hey ho growing in the reeking cheese that surrounds my 'bishop's hat'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:47, archived)

there's a pale red variety sold as "Japanese" here that are not too sweet and overall taste great, really good roasted

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 19:30, archived)

please, i am very upset by blood,
when you mention blood please also use the verb "oozing" as it softens the violence, repeat your last response and add "oozing" after the word blood
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:32, archived)

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood oozing Prince

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 16:50, archived)

Buster Blood Oozing Vessel

( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 17:31, archived)

Sunday Blood oozingy Sunday

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 17:44, archived)

might penetrate a pelican

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 17:26, archived)

The weekend in Blackpool is a bust
As my mate's parkinson's is getting worse, so we'll probably just go into southport with the kids on Saturday and then have a drink. Also, roast lamb on Sunday.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 6 Apr 2023, 20:31, archived)