I'm pretty sure I could kill a sparrow
How hard were you trying?
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 27 Jun 2023, 10:06, archived)

I was trying to save it but all my cats wanted to do was use it as a football.

Rest in peace Japtain Cack.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 27 Jun 2023, 10:30, archived)

*BRB KLAXON*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 27 Jun 2023, 10:31, archived)

Why does this innocent spoonerism get a klaxon
but the constant references to stuffing billy down 'jappers' doesn't?

Sort it out, toxic cunts.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 27 Jun 2023, 14:04, archived)

My cat thoughtfully deposited a shrew next to the patio table
By the chair where I like to sit whilst I smoke. I thanked him and disposed of it. I expect he thinks I ate it.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 27 Jun 2023, 10:55, archived)

You ate a patio table?
comedy misunderstanding lol!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 27 Jun 2023, 11:22, archived)

He didn't.
Unfunny reply.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Jun 2023, 12:38, archived)

He did eat the shrew though.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 27 Jun 2023, 14:01, archived)