Afternoons
What telly 'celeb' do you want to be touted officially as a creep?
I'd go for Rachel Riley
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 12:42, archived)

I googled her and she sounds interesting
The sort of person you could actually spend time with
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 12:45, archived)

Good to know 👀
twitter.com/RachelRileyRR/status/1675832616774254593?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:11, archived)

I'd go for Rachel Riley too.
What was the question again?
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 12:47, archived)

Who would you send to a certain death other than Boris Johnson

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 12:48, archived)

I should have paid more attention

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 12:49, archived)

Too late :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:12, archived)

That billionaire who's injecting himself with his son's blood to live forever.
Everyone else already has a certain death.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 12:50, archived)

I read an NHS transfusion booklet last week
It said that blood from relatives is definitely not advised
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 12:57, archived)

Yeah well most people can't afford it see

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:13, archived)

Fucking stupid fucking cunts

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:42, archived)

speaking of which, I just found a note from spanishfly's doctor in the CD vault.
At least now we know what he was pestering him for, "it's for my polyps", aye right
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:54, archived)

lol

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:58, archived)

11 blowies in an afternoon saving up the money for one of those bad boys, ooh my po lyps

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:35, archived)

Fuck Tha Po Lyps

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:36, archived)

What's spanishfly's favourite style of Caribbean music?

Polypso
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:43, archived)

As a committed Bokononist this offends me
"Verse 1: All of the true things that I am about to tell you are shameless lies.".
.
"She fired me. I shall never forget her. She believed that God liked people in sailboats much better than He liked people in motorboats."
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:50, archived)

OK then, what's spanishfly's favourite part of the red teletubby's body?

Po lips

Yes I know they don't have lips, and I realise it's almost identical to your punchline up there
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 15:46, archived)

Yes but... what is 10% cocaine in solution legitimately used for?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 15:48, archived)

"It is used as a surface anaesthetic but, because of systemic adverse effects and its abuse potential, its use is now almost entirely restricted to surgery of the ear, nose, and throat." - Martindale

Most of that batch we made last year went out of date, we only sold about 30 of them. I suspect we won't be making it again, there are plenty of licensed alternatives available that don't have the same problems with potential for abuse.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 15:59, archived)

Yeah, that last point is why I asked, there are so many alternatives. I was wondering if there were some unique qualities to coke that overrode concerns about its abuse.
I'm guessing it's really just a relic?
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 16:08, archived)

In a nutshell, yes.
The unit I work in makes unlicensed medicines, which includes things that no big pharmaceutical manufacturer can be bothered to make anymore because it wouldn't be profitable for them. These days, it's difficult to imagine a scenario in which cocaine would be more clinically appropriate than any of the alternatives.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 16:14, archived)

Sorry, I meant to say Mate I will slap ya nan and jizz on ya dog. Pipe down.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 16:26, archived)

You stupid fucking cunt

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 16:31, archived)

Christ, I'm reading all that shit you type

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 16:55, archived)

It's always a bit unsettling when an actual conversation breaks out on here, innit

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 18:08, archived)

Jamie Oliver.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:04, archived)

What about you Huw, with your made up name and your shameful mental illness and your bitch snitch wife

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:15, archived)

It’s short for Huel

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:17, archived)

ok then fuw is short for fuel, I GUESS

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:19, archived)

Gimme fuw gimme fi gimme that which idesi

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:28, archived)

Best of all the pickpockets

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:25, archived)

Most celebrity chefs tbh
James Martin first
Ainsley and his crew came to our pub when they were filming nearby for lunch
Very nice bloke did all the selfie stuff and skinned up in the car park
Dunno what he's like as a chef though
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:18, archived)

Yevgeny Prigozhin?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:21, archived)

Don't diss my mate
He makes a mean Sunday roast
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:30, archived)

Roast what, exactly

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:36, archived)

Mister Tumble
I hate that cunt
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:14, archived)

George Clarke
fucking cunt. Absolute shower of of shit. I'd like to brick the fucker up behind the wall in my home, happy to sacrifice the space and put up with the stink just for the pleasure of the desperate screaming and tapping of the bastard as he dies.

Architects. Pieces of shit the lot of them.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:26, archived)

But without them we'd have nowhere to live, like cave persons

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:28, archived)

INTENTS

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 13:30, archived)

That's a sacrifice I'd be happy to make

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:02, archived)

He has a really silly voice

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:13, archived)

no i do not

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:25, archived)

That idea is appealing to me more and more

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:07, archived)

I tried to keep it inclusive

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:24, archived)

Yeah I could live here
www.italyheaven.co.uk/basilicata/matera.html
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 15:47, archived)

Oooo, so could I

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 16:22, archived)

it's on my 'absolutely must visit' list

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 16:27, archived)

I visited a place like that in Southern Spain years ago, cannot remember where exactly, the atmosphere got much heavier after dark, we fucked of

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 17:07, archived)

Chris Evans dating a 17 year old, remember?

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:23, archived)

Of course they were out for revenge once Hydra gave them a super powerful metal arm

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:30, archived)

Leslie Grantham, murderer, sex pest, still working in TV up to his death

( mongychops, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 14:30, archived)

It's fine as long as he didn't take any indecent photos of her

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 15:30, archived)

John 'national treasure' Peel married a 15 year old in 1965

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 Jul 2023, 16:18, archived)