Fuck's sake.
My sister and her dog came to stay, and they've left me with fleas. Fuckers have given me about 200 bites all around my ankles, up my legs and arms.

Quickest way to end a flea infestation, please.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 15:30, archived)

Fire

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 15:50, archived)

Johnson 4fleas and lots of hoovering, hth - recent experience
Hoover. Often. And empty the tank outside. Seal bags or direct into bin, but outside.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 15:51, archived)

Did I mention fire?
Also forget smoke bomb things, get the 4fleas foggers and go out for a couple of hours. And hoover.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 15:52, archived)

Oh. And hoover. Carpets, furniture, curtains....
Wash anything in sight made of fabric at 60 degrees. And hoover. Daily. Twice a day. 6 times if you can. And empty the tank outside. Also fire.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 15:54, archived)

If you have a pet, shave it and set it on fire
Even if it's a fish.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 15:55, archived)

And hoover
Also Nope! is a good product, not as good as fire or Johnsons 4fleas.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 15:57, archived)

I'll have to try that johnson's stuff myself
The flea treatment I use is hopeless
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:04, archived)

4fleas tablet ground down with mortar and pestle in the cat's favourite soup
Sheba chicken soup, I found works. Then the fleas on the cat die. 4fleas spray and foggers for the house. And hoover. And fire.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:06, archived)

Buy the cheap Sheba soup from b&m. It makes up for the cost of HOOVERING.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:07, archived)

And FIRE

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:09, archived)

I'm definitely hoovering more
Even though I don't have any carpets or rugs
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:15, archived)

Get into the skirting board crevices and cracks with a nozzle. Or fire.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:29, archived)

Pfft, 'nozzle'.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:41, archived)

Gonna buy a fogger
Set it off just before I go away, while he's safely at my mate's house
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 17:18, archived)

Take off and nuke the entire site from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:02, archived)

And fire

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:04, archived)

And hoover

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:04, archived)

"A 2017 study published by the Journal of Arthropod-Borne Diseases found that thyme and myrtle essential oils can repel fleas effectively"
So next time you decide to have sex with your sister's dog try applying a generous amount of thyme oil to your penus and helmet.
(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:38, archived)

Ok this is weird but they apparently like white paper (I think they’re racist)
so you can put a bit of A4 on the floor of a room and see if they’ve infested that room or not, as they’ll get on the paper. Then make plans that don’t involve you using that room for a day or two, and get one of those flea bombs that poisons the fuckers.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:58, archived)

Or just hang out in that room and they’ll quickly leave when they realise they don’t like you.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 16:58, archived)

Take away his bass guitar!

( $$ ✅, Sun 4 Aug 2024, 17:16, archived)