you know when you drop something in the kitchen, and it inevitably lands just under the oven
What are the chances your first attempt to retrieve it with your fingers will render it completely unrecoverable with non-specialist tools?
( MiseryCunt, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 11:42, archived)

There is no gap under my oven, so I cannot assist you at this time.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 11:50, archived)

fuck off then

( MiseryCunt, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 12:13, archived)

same here, Trouser

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 12:22, archived)

gap under my oven, so I cannot assist you at this time Dana - there is only Zuul
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 17 Nov 2024, 16:07, archived)

I don’t even own an oven gap

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 12:23, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8431092
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 13:13, archived)

I've cleaned the house, put the washing on, done me cycling, I'm at a bit of a loose end now
Mrs left for India this morning so I've no partner in crime to cook a roast for. Been looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet for ages and now I have it I don't know what to do. Might go to Borough and buy a ludicrously expensive cheese slicer and a Ginger Pig sausage roll
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 12:26, archived)

might bumhole a beagle, also

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 12:27, archived)

oven gap tho

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 12:29, archived)

i might rectify a rhombus

( MiseryCunt, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 12:32, archived)

Time to bust out the GameCube and play a bit of Luigi's Mansion

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 17 Nov 2024, 12:48, archived)

Might do an early breakbeat hardcore mix
By which I of course mean 'a big splattery shit'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 13:01, archived)

On top?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 17 Nov 2024, 18:00, archived)

Reminds me of that gag from the St. Trinian's film
"Just got back from India, my mate's getting married."
"Hen do?"
"No, she's Church of England"
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 15:57, archived)

I've just been playing cards with my girlfriend
poker?

no but we snogged a bit
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 16:59, archived)

Liquor in the front
Poker in the rear
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 17 Nov 2024, 18:01, archived)

That's bloody annoying
I wonder how many things are under there
(Bou threatened 🖕 not a good thing. SAD!, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 13:01, archived)

nobody knows

( MiseryCunt, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 13:02, archived)

I liked it when Phoebe sang a song about oven gap, and Ross pulled a face

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 13:10, archived)

What are they feeding you? Nothing, it's an oven gap, and it's on a break

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 13:59, archived)

You've lost that oven feeling

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 13:51, archived)

now it's gone gone gone, and it's won't turn on, any more :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:04, archived)

baby baby, i get down on my knees to retrieve an item from the oven gap

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:05, archived)

Owen an Elevator

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:07, archived)

eh?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:08, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_in_an_Elevator
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:10, archived)

The B side to Sex Farm Woman
You typed 'owen' instead of 'oven'
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:34, archived)

So I did, oh well I won’t edit it and hide my stupidity
-Cheers +Gonz
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:39, archived)

Go Your Owen Way

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:41, archived)

I just assumed it was above my IQ, that's why I asked, I'm not proud me

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:43, archived)

No just my dyslexia I’m afraid, although brbou’s alt didn’t spot it either

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:45, archived)

oh, more deletion

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 15:19, archived)

Doctor Mengele, give me the news I've got a bad case of oven jews

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:58, archived)

That's a very guilty lol.

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 15:58, archived)

oven gap

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:07, archived)

Gary Puckett and the Oven Gap

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:29, archived)

ok so your name is gary puckett and you want to start a band, THIS WAS YOUR CHANCE TO CHOOSE A NEW IDENTITY GARY PUCKETT, ANY NAME YOU WANT, BUT NO

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:38, archived)

After reading this post,
he re-evaluated his life and has now changed his name to Hob Marley and the Microwavers
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 15:42, archived)

catch a fire!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 20:17, archived)

-v +w

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:39, archived)

👍🏻

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 14:40, archived)

Dunno, we have an Everhot.

(2 Can Chunder - Work account arbeit macht frei!, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 15:06, archived)

ooh baby

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 15:12, archived)

can't touch this

( MiseryCunt, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 18:50, archived)

That's when you deploy the spatula

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 17 Nov 2024, 15:55, archived)