Hullo pissflap's, how r u lol
Day off today, not sure how to spend it. I done some indoor cycling*, got a phone appointment with a physio in a bit, other than that, bit of a loose** end.

What should I do? No silly 'joke' replies please, it's Serious Internet Day.


*not a euphemism
** strikey bell
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:14, archived)

Record a DJ set of wall to wall 90s hip hop BANGERS

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:17, archived)

Mrs Smegwin is working in the room where all the BANGERS are
:(
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:52, archived)

Divorce.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:57, archived)

I don't have any Tammy Wynette records

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:05, archived)

I meant the Billy Connolly one.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:32, archived)

oh right, I've got doubles of that

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:41, archived)

GET ON IT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:50, archived)

would go great into the SuperGran theme too
#GetOnTheBillym8
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:54, archived)

megawank and a fancy coffee

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:18, archived)

and into
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:27, archived)

not a fan of a macchiato

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:31, archived)

He was alright in The Karate Kid

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:56, archived)

do you like making love at midnight?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:56, archived)

WAY ahead of you bro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:53, archived)

Time to break out the darning mushroom*
*not a euphemism
( .Yeti., Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:23, archived)

"darning"? I don't want to see that kind of foul language on this site, please edit your post.
While swearing is permitted on the boards, we prefer more creative forms of profanity:

* Portmanteau: twat + cunt = twunt. Can you think of your own?
* Animal combos: cock-badger and kitten-flaps have been found to be most effective.
* Reversal: by reversing "fuck" and "cock" you can substantially improve your swearing. EG: "Cock off you cocking fucksucker."

Stand out from the crowd and find your own swearing style. Maybe yours will catch on.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:35, archived)

Easier to just buy new socks

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 14:16, archived)

not if he's not darning socks

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 15:18, archived)

Sorry you fusty old shitters UTOL is here so there will be NO SERIOUSNESS
unless I get in a bad mood of course, then I'll be as serious as I please.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:23, archived)

-I please +cancer

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:31, archived)

wank yourself to wonderland

( MiseryCunt, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:44, archived)

to at wonder Lego
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:16, archived)

I’m as serious as internet when I say rhythm is a dinternet

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 11:57, archived)

I'm as serious as a broken headlight when I say mediocre comedy website

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:14, archived)

I'm serious as Dawkins when it's about babies thawing

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 12:17, archived)

I'm serious as Japan when I say my jism is in your nan

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:19, archived)

(From the 1992 hit "Jism in your nan sir")

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:24, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8451967
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jul 2025, 13:59, archived)