morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 6:05, archived)

shit into your hat and put it on you rancid poo pilot
ps happy valentine's day
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 7:13, archived)

Buy more stock in roses
Millionaires will always woo
Don't be shocked if roses
Make a millionaire of you
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 7:49, archived)

Must be because the gas lads are outside with a tarmac whacker. That's me up

( mongychops, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 8:10, archived)

Fuck’s sake, does it have to be?
Already?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 8:15, archived)

Museum then dim sum with our Nepalese pals
Get in
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 8:24, archived)

Ex army?

( mongychops, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 8:32, archived)

Yep

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 9:37, archived)

& navy?

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 15:50, archived)

pierced?

(piss and shit, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 8:45, archived)

Huh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 9:41, archived)

(An hilarious 'Nepalese/nipples' pun, I believe, m'lud.)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 14 Feb 2026, 11:35, archived)

Was pretty Nepalling if you ask me

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 11:41, archived)

pearls before swine :(

(piss and shit, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 16:19, archived)

Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down

No offence
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 8:31, archived)

What part of stralia you going?

( mongychops, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 8:33, archived)

Sydney
I'm only really interested in Melbourne tbh, next time
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 9:37, archived)

Couldn’t you save time and just go to Melbourne this time?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 9:39, archived)

You'd think so right
But apparently not showing up to my mother in law's funeral would be perceived as poor form

So much for their 'relaxed attitude', pricks
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 10:05, archived)

Just tell the family that she always wanted to be buried in Melbourne but you’ve only just remembered.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 10:18, archived)

It's only a small place, can probably jump on a hopper bus Sydney to Melbourne

( mongychops, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 10:30, archived)

Back in time for lunch
Sorted
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 10:44, archived)

+50p ham, that’s

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 11:42, archived)

My favourite Valentine's Day message is from 2013:
Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Never sneak up
On Oscar Pistorius

/repost
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 10:50, archived)

Alright, geordiejay

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 11:23, archived)

*wops em out for the lads*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 12:33, archived)

Wahey!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 12:41, archived)

*puts em away*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 14 Feb 2026, 14:16, archived)