Bah, already stressed this morning as on call and colleagues off sick and came down to find hamster had escaped from its cage and discovered it behind the washing machine where there's a load of old rat poison.
Any hamster vets here or shall I just gaz mongychops?
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 9:40, archived)

Hamster's are about 7 quid. Hth

( mongychops, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 9:42, archived)

A guinea pig is better value.
Much more meat on them.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Apr 2026, 11:11, archived)

Not much though, had a few in Peru/Bolivia, go for alpaca with pepper sauce instead every time.
Also they don't fit behind washing machines.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 11:13, archived)

700p Hamster

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 13:50, archived)

It's a bit low poly, is it for a game?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 14:25, archived)

rats can't vomit, stick your fingers down the hamster's throat, it'll be fine

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 9:45, archived)

2 Can is a GP.
He only knows how to stick fingers in one hole, and it's not the throat-hole.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Apr 2026, 11:12, archived)

Ear, Nose, Throat and Anǔs

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 12:28, archived)

A Æ
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Apr 2026, 12:50, archived)

alright Mr. Tææ

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 13:14, archived)

Alright, Pøřķŷ.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Apr 2026, 13:46, archived)

Chat, can you tell me a story about ænus and pænus, the terrible twins?
I wouldn't be comfortable telling that story, would you like me to help you come up with some other ideas?
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 14:08, archived)

rat poison is so diluted these days they have to eat it for weeks before they die it'll be fine
Blood out the eyes is normal for hamsters
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 10:12, archived)

I can't not read "Blood out the eyes is normal for hamsters" in a death metal scream/growl

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Apr 2026, 10:17, archived)

= scrowl, maybe yours will catch on.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Apr 2026, 13:47, archived)