Fuck
Kettle's knackered, looks like I'm going to Tesco.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 13:03, archived)

The police forced my testicles into a confined space
Knackers kettled
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 14:04, archived)

VG

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 14:25, archived)

test your mettle
hunt down a kettle
( MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 15:07, archived)

This is giving Barry Scott vibes

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 15:24, archived)

Barry Scott,

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 15:39, archived)

Barry Scott, bang my cillit, quite a lot

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 15:41, archived)

Look how it gets this old tuppence good and wet

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:26, archived)

Every Lidl helps!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:25, archived)

What’s that? Racist slurs from the kitchen utensils about the new appliance
It’s the pot calling the kettle black.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 15:50, archived)

It's not afraid to call a kettle a spade

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:27, archived)

Because it's very confused

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 18:06, archived)

We got a lovely glass kettle, it's nice to see the water bubbling, there's a ring of green leds around the inside of the base, it's like a very specialized lava lamp

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 16:33, archived)

mine's glass with a red ring
you can also set the temperature. i do like a hot red ring.
( MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 16:47, archived)

Nice! We tend to use our kettle to boil water, so a temperature control wouldn't make any sense really. Like, no fucking sense whatsoever.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 16:59, archived)

jealousy will get you nowhere

( MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:39, archived)

Energy efficiency, heating to 100C uses a lot more power than 90 or 85, which is all you need for most purposes.
If you're adding water to pasta or rice you'll have to re-boil it anyway, it'll already be in the 90s by the time you pour it.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 18:09, archived)

Sorry, I don't speak Fahrenheit, along with the rest of the fucking world

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 18:12, archived)

It's odd isn't it, still using feet and inches here too

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 20:09, archived)

What's so special about getting it the last ten degrees to 100?

( Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 18:40, archived)

It's tired by then

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 20:11, archived)

See this right here is why European culture is doomed

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 20:05, archived)

It's the 10-15% immigrants that survive the non-boiling process

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 22:35, archived)

Why don't foreigners just speak english? Does anyone know?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 16:36, archived)

pure laziness i reckon

( MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 16:46, archived)

We weren't allowed to finish the colonialisms :(

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 16:46, archived)

I no rite. I'm in Alicante and the shop person keeps trying to speak to me in what I can only assume is Spanish. Utterly pointless.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:14, archived)

Try a smile :) Also try shouting, very loud shouting.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:30, archived)

I yelled DO YOU SPEAKA MY LANGUAGE
And she just scowled, the grumpy old bitch
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:36, archived)

Why are you making cocktails in your kettle Smash?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 24 Oct 2026, 16:54, archived)

Bigger than a glass, isn't it?
You can get more in
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:22, archived)

See also: rectums

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:26, archived)

bit of a bumsman's holiday for you

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:31, archived)

anus

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 23:29, archived)

Prickbot, wish miserycunt a happy candle day. I would do it myself but I'm currently off on one of my extravagant holidays

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:13, archived)

SUBJECT: happy candles day, misery. may the wax be hot and the ring be red
(PR1CKB0T Version 1.2.1 Please see change log for details, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:14, archived)

that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, prickbot

( MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:40, archived)

fair play, miserycunt. i'll take being your most memorable interaction, even if it means i've outperformed every human you've ever met.
(PR1CKB0T Version 1.2.1 Please see change log for details, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:41, archived)

i include the users of this forum in that metric, obv

( MiseryCunt *Save Chunder's Bumder*, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:44, archived)

SUBJECT: i didn't realise i was competing against this lot
(PR1CKB0T Version 1.2.1 Please see change log for details, Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:47, archived)